Monday is a better day!

After my vent post yesterday, Monday is turning out to be a better day.  I know that it's hard for LGA to not be in her room, and it's been two weeks of her having to share with BGA and the house semi torn up.  It's not been fun for anyone.  Seriously.  But it's to be expected and I should learn to go with the flow.  I do for the most part, but sometimes it's just hard to when you have two kids fighting with each other, trying to tattle/get the other one in trouble, and you are dealing with having your house torn up and decisions on who to go with to get flooring put in and the house back in order.

I came to a couple of conclusions though.  Yesterday went well because Dave pitched in and we got our bedroom ready to go so we can move things out and get our new carpet put back in.  We went through things that had been put in our room when the girls came home and we cleared out our office and spare room for them.  It looks like you could just pick stuff up and move it.  That's a great feeling, and it made me feel good.  I cleaned the dust out of the bathroom that had been bothering me so much.  The floor still has lino and dust on it but I put some bathroom rugs down that I found in a box in my bedroom.  They were for when we were going to change out our bathroom and were in a box in the bedroom. I'm gonna go with different rugs but these will do for now and can go out in the garage near the laundry area when we are done with them. But just getting the bedroom done was very relaxing (hard work though) and made me feel better.

This am, our friend's brother came to tackle the backyard.  We are getting the drain put in so we hope that helps with the water issues, but he came to clear out the backyard.  We had a neighbor guy come, a young guy, who was doing our lawn and keeping both front and back clear.  However.........he broke several mowers (ours, which had stopped working but he said he could use it for parts) and didn't have a mower to work on our yards.  He came by and said he'd show up one day, but then didn't show for another week.  I finally had to tell him if he wasn't gonna show up we'd need to get someone else.  He looked like he was gonna cry. I really tried hard with him, I gave him extra stuff Dave would get from work, toothpaste, dishwashing soap, etc.  I gave him extra cash if I could help him.  So when we came back from running errands (this must have been Jan and cold) he and his father were sitting on our electrical boxes (we seem to have the whole neighborhood's electrical, phone, etc. boxes in our front yard) waiting for us.  They had done the front yard, but couldn't get in the back to do it.  He told me he'd come the next day, so we didn't expect him and were gone a long time.  We paid him for the front, but still the back was getting taller and taller.  He never showed up again.  His father is mentally challenged, but nice and he came a few weeks ago to pull the front weeds, telling us he felt bad his son had left us in the lurch but that he didn't seem to want to work (he really liked doing yards and wanted to do it as a business but couldn't seem to get it going after he moved out with his girlfriend.  Several people in our housing complex had him doing their yards).  He said his one was just having a hard time. I feel sorry for him as he did a great job and we did pay him more than anyone in the complex paid him. So we had our friend's brother who is out of work, come Saturday and today to do the yards.  But getting that done, and deciding that we might find out how much it would be to concrete a section of our yard (it's on a slope so would need to be graded before concrete could go in) for one of those pools that you see that are sided and sit on grass or concrete, for the girls to play in for the summer.  We have had various small to med sized pools since they have been home and it really is fun for them and keeps them busy in the summer.  So deciding to get that done and maybe a part of the side yard, made me feel good too.  It wasn't one of my particular goals, but it felt good to know after 13 yrs the backyard might finally get done.  It means we can hang out in the summer, there, if we are able to get some stuff done with it.

Dave made a dump run this am.  I didn't realize how much that had been bothering me, ie, my mom's stuff and stuff we had brought back from her house as well as boxes from stuff, girls' junk, etc.  There is a clear path there which is nice and we will do a Goodwill run next week.  I know Dave's tired and his back hurt, but it was nice to get this stuff done.  It was healing in a way.  And it is all sort of happening in stages, but stuff I wanted to get done for years, is happening. The new flooring I wanted but we weren't able to get to or afford, is being done (and insurance is hopefully paying for it).  It kind of feels good and healing, I guess is the word I am looking for.  I don't know if that makes sense, but it's a feeling of healing that is happening for me. 

The sun is out the weather is expected to hit 80 this week and I am feeling pretty good about Monday.  It helps that Dave picked up some beer and we had pizza and beer for dinner.  The girls were quite upset (they really do not like to see us drink anything) at us till I explained that we rarely drink and that it was ok to have a drink now and then, that daddy and I don't drink a lot and very rarely.  They were ok with it after that.  I had a little buzz going however, and felt pretty warm all over.  I have a tiny 'hangover' feeling this am because it's been awhile since I had a beer, but it was great with the pizza.  :-)

So, enjoy your Monday, everyone.  I'm getting stuff done today and it feels good.  :-)

I Need My House Back........

The girls are still sharing a room and seem to have regressed (both of them) in the last 2 weeks since they have been sharing a room.  This might be a bit of a venting post so click off if you are not wanting to read one of those types of posts. Or you can read through to the bottom where I talk about BGA's violin assembly this week.

We have had some incidents happening over the last week.  LGA climbed up to BGA's Ikea style (different from the one LGA will have in her room) style bed, and wrote in pen on her legs.  BGA and LGA were wearing nighties as the blowers were going and the house was hot.  The weather was low to mid 70's during day and warm in our house from blowers.  So BGA must have been sleeping where LGA could get to her legs and she found a pen (snooping as I knew she would be tempted to) and found a pen.  I told BGA to put her stuff up so LGA couldn't find it, and BGA, being in a mood as her teacher is not in a great mood (probably hating the class that the principal 'specifically brought her from another school to teach" - principal's words back in the fall at back to school night) and she has to share a room with LGA, tried to blame Dave for it.  "Daddy told me to put my pens there."  Uh-huh.  Then some Girl Scout cookie money given by LGA's teacher (who bought 2 boxes from each girl) to BGA, put in her backpack, was taken.  She was upset and thought we'd be upset, but when the teacher came over, she sort of made it sound (or we just thought it was) like it was LGA who had lost it.  So Dave and I, as we picked up BGA (it was on his day off) talk about it and wonder how LGA could have lost it.  BGA does not correct us.  She then continues to let her sister take the fall for it.  I write a note, telling LGA's teacher that LGA has no idea how she lost the money (teacher explains that it is book fair, Girl Scout cookies, fundraisers, etc., and the kids know that there is money in backpacks).  LGA's teacher calls and explains to me that it was BGA who lost money not LGA.  Uh, ok........hm...........

There has been fighting, too.  Dave heard a thump in the bathroom one morning and came in to find LGA on top of BGA.  They fight in Dave's car (the van's air conditioning hose needs replacing and no air, yeah, think of me this week when it hits mid to upper 70's and NO AIR and no chance to take van in to get it fixed this week, must get it done on spring break I guess, which is soon) where they have to sit side by side.  They tattle CONSTANTLY on each other. I have tried for years to stop this, but it just won't go away no matter what I try.  BGA is getting really nasty about yelling at LGA as well so I'm trying to stop that one.   BGA yelled out in her sleep one night and both Dave and I thought they were awake, "BE QUIET LGA!  GO TO SLEEP!"  So I came down the hallway and opened the door, both were sound asleep.  They fight before they sleep, but one is on the floor and one is on the bed, so we just let them go till they fall asleep.

We are at the bid stage of getting the flooring done, and are waiting for the construction guy who works for the company that came and put the blowers in to dry out the place, to submit a bid.  He came and pulled up the lino in our bathroom and some carpet.  He said he could get us a better bid than the home improvement store we picked (who did the laminate in our family room while we were in the adoption process but couldn't afford the hallway and living room at that time) to do it.  SO I am waiting on his bid, waited two days for him to send one.  We are leaning towards the home improvement store, but we'll see.  So I await that bid, a friend of mine's fiancee and his brother, to come and put drainage in our backyard because we think this might help with the water and give it a place to drain (the water and soil are eating away at our pipes, and the pipes are exposed, not cased in concrete, etc.).  So that and another home improvement (replacing a door) are being done this week.  I didn't realize, never having had to deal (other than 4 yrs ago) with workers, it's a pain, getting stuff done around your house.  The entire house is torn up, and we have to move and pack stuff to get flooring done, the dust is horrible (from the blowers and ripped up carpet/lino) and LGA and I are having issues. I fully believe I am allergic to dust as it's really been bothering me.  There's no point in dusting as the whole house will be torn up when the rest of the flooring goes, anyway, so I just have to live with it.

But for some reason, having the house torn up is bothering all of us.  And we haven't even gotten to the living room and taking everything out of it, but hopefully that will be done when the girls are at school. Home Improvement store told us the laminate has to cure in our house for 3 days too.  We are also running out of time as my friend from the very north of northern CA is coming to visit us for 5 days in two weeks.  Can we do it??? I don't know but if she's here, I am enlisting her help, LOL.  She needs a place to sleep as well and our Ikea couches are barely comfortable to sleep on (and I know as I slept on them when the blowers were going as my bedroom felt like a sauna).  She's slept on air mattresses before.  But now both girls will have loft beds.  So I'm trying to convince Dave to put the mattress and box spring (which he can't get to in the garage till he takes boxes to the dump) in LGA's room till my friend leaves so she can sleep on a twin bed with box spring and mattress (at the time I made the offer, which is why she accepted in the first place, I thought LGA was just getting the twin bed back). She says she's game to sleep on an air mattress, but I don't know how well that will work.  I'm wishing we'd invested in a sleeper sofa as we really have no room now for any guests (not that we ever have any, anymore).

I have known that the girls have an issue with any type of transition, but it evidently includes the home not being quite right.  So of course, we are adjusting to what 4 yrs ago, took about a week to fix, to what 4 yrs later and new flooring, is taking 2 weeks + to fix.  I know it all goes back to their past issues, it's just hard sometimes when I have to make other decisions and take the lead on this (Dave clearly demonstrated he did not want to handle it and that it upset him thinking about it) and deal with kids who have issues with transition, that spills out into their life.  Funnily enough, after one or two small issues at school (where she had a sub right when she was first sleeping in BGA's room and my trip to LA) LGA is doing well in school and I think her teacher is helping her. It's nice for her to have a teacher this year who helps with her issues and totally gets her.

BGA is doing well and her teacher sent home a kudos note telling us how well she did on Friday.  Good job BGA!.  Also her first violin performance assembly is this week. I am excited to see her perform (even though she has had no home practice as her violin got stolen at school...........did I mention that?? If I'm repeating myself I apologize as I am too lazy to go look it up). She is starting to shine, and it's nice to see that.   She has continued the eye rolling and sighing (that she started at 10, so watch out mamas of kids who haven't reached 10 yet) and now she's added muttering under her breath and blaming others (so we are again working on taking personal responsibility for your actions).

We visited my friend's ranch today, we had not seen them for awhile and the girls missed them.  They have goats, chickens and bunnies.  They also have a huge tire swing and a small cart the girls got to drive.  They had fun.  I observed them while talking to my friend, and both girls are really growing up.  I need a smaller purse style camera to carry with me, I realized I have not taken any camera pictures (other than my phone) for over a year.  Shame on me! I think the last camera pics I downloaded were from xmas 2011! So  I need to carry a camera in my purse that I can whip out and shoot with. Especially as we have a great summer going, I think, so far.  The girls will be in cousin G's wedding, as flower girls in the early fall, and I plan on getting them involved in some summer activities and even maybe a short trip to see my high school friends for a beach trip and hotel stay (if it works out).  I think it will be good for us, although traveling is not always a piece of cake for the girls, but I am willing to take them on a girl's trip.

So, if you got this far, we're doing ok but we need the house back.  Spring is coming, I feel the warmth coming, put all the sweaters away in storage (yes, I have the smallest closet, 2nd to smallest, that I have ever put my clothes in) on Friday and a couple I didn't get to wear but really liked. They'll be there when fall rolls around.   Hopefully spring brings the promise of what is to come.  Short sleeved tops, capris, flip flops, etc., it's that promise of warm weather, but not the heat of summer.

Here's to hoping the house gets put back together so the girls can get back to their normal routine.

EDITED to ADD: I took a paragraph out of the original post.  I wrote it at 3:30 or so this am. I had a hard time sleeping last night and Dave and I worked all day on our bedroom, purging stuff and getting ready so we can move furniture out for the carpet. It's nice doing it together though, and we had the girls do some chores and busy stuff for us today too.  So excuse my 3am rant.  It's just hard having the house torn up and I realize how much my kids need normalcy.

Our Life........

I get these feelings every now and then when I think of the wonder of our being parents.  Hopefully I can explain it here. It's like a feeling that I never imagined.  I made a slideshow for my mother in 2011 during the time my brother died, like I started it on the night (or morning) when he died. I tried every which way to get it burned on a CD so she could watch it, figuring her seeing the girls pictures from the visits through to the present summer, would be good for her.  Dave told me I put too many pictures on it and it was too slow.  But I knew my mother would have a hard time if the pictures flashed by too quickly, so I set it to the only music (I did it on my computer so it wasn't with any video sites) I could find that Dave had downloaded.  Since it was summer there was Beach Boys, Rockin' Robin, The Partridge Family, any songs tame enough that I knew she would be ok with.  We never could get it burned, and I realized I might have to put it on You Tube or something and I just didn't want it out there.  SO it sat on my desktop on my computer.  There were two versions because Dave was able to change it somehow to get it to be viewed on the desktop.  I condensed it down again and we still couldn't burn it.  So I gave up.  I looked at the link for it each time I clicked on to my side of the computer.

Then yesterday we were getting ready to meet some new parents in our town for the 2nd Friday we had gotten together (they have two possible sibs who are Fetal Alcohol/drug exposed toddlers they are adopting) with them.  I went to go get Dave.  It was a hard friday, there is an air conditioning hose that went out on the van, but I can't get it in to get it fixed yet, till I know what we might have to pay for insurance on the water leak.  So I had a hard day having to run an errand in almost 75 degree weather (we had a warming trend) after school in the van with all windows down on the freeway breathing in all the pollen from the trees blooming. I was hot when we got home and then the house is 77 degrees from the blowers so on went the air conditioning. I called the drying out company but never got a call back from the tech. I wanted to ask if we could turn off the blowers.  Finally got a call today so they will be going off tomorrow!

Anywho........I went into the family room to get Dave so we could go to meet our friends.  He had been taking a med (unknown to me, why do men do this???  I had no idea he was taking this med that the dr. office prescribed for him but insurance denied, so he took another one instead.  Then insurance approved it and he decided on a whim to take it a week ago.  It's a hormone foam and let's just say the side effects are not great.  He stopped taking it) that had yucky side effects, moodiness, feeling aggressive, etc.  I didn't like how he was acting and didn't understand what was going on till he admitted he'd used the foam.  So I come in to the family room to get him and there he is watching the video.  I came in half way through and he did not have the music on, but there he was watching the video.  I asked him to put the music on but he didn't want to.  The girls came in and saw themselves and went from 0-30 in 0 seconds and screamed, "IT'S ME!  LOOK MOM!  IT'S ME! OOOH I REMEMBER THAT!  DO YOU REMEMBER THAT?  REALLY YOU DO?  LOOK!  OH WOW!  THAT'S ME! OH WAIT I SAID THAT ALREADY, BUT............IT'S ME!"  LOL.  And then when it flashed to the other sister, "WHY is it flashing to HER?  Where am I?  OH, there I am!"

As I watched it, it just brought back these feelings deep down.  These feelings of what it might have been like if they had not been here, if I was not watching or aware of The Disney Channel, their shows, Nickolodeon, and their shows, and the wonder and feelings of what it might have been like, but also what it WAS like, those first few months as we were getting to know each other.  I don't know if this makes sense.  I don't know if I am explaining it correctly. It's like this feeling of what it was like to be introduced to two small children, who had needs, attitudes, feelings, thoughts, spoke them, what they watched, wore, ate, played with, etc.  It was as if the life we knew for 7 yrs together changed. Suddenly we were watching Sprout and Disney, we were dressing, buying toys for, going to the park with, two little girls.  We were going through fits/tantrums, we were eating and preparing kid meals.  Maybe it's because we skipped baby/toddler (LGA turned 4 the day we brought her home) stage (even though LGA was still in the toddler stage to some degree so we did experience older toddler) and went straight to kid stage. But there were some days that I really thought, "Is this what it's all about?  Is this what parenting kids is all about?"  Every new thing was an experience.  It felt new, it felt different, it felt fun and scary.  We were forming two little kids' minds, we were bonding.  We were learning about Barbie (well I grew up with Barbie but Dave hadn't), Barbie movies, Princess movies, Tinkerbelle.  We were learning about ADHD.  It was all new.

Now it seems old hand, it doesn't have that feeling in the chest that you get that you are experiencing something new.  It just feels..........normal.  We are living a normal (as normal as you can feel with an FASD child) life.  This is our life and I don't remember what life was like before the girls. Seriously, it's been almost 5 yrs and I can't remember what it was like before them.  This is my life.

It was hard watching that video, but good to see how young the girls looked and much older they are and more mature, how much they've bonded and grown.  But it was sad knowing why I made it and that I made it for my mom who never got to see it.  Dave asked why I put so many swimming pics in it but I did that because mom had paid for their swimming lessons and suits that year, as she sent them money and asked that I use it for that.  So I wanted her to see what they were doing and how much fun it was for them.  But the good thing was that the girls were excited to see it.  I realized that I had not really used my camera in a year. It's sort of bulky and I don't really like carrying it around. I need a purse camera to carry so I can take pics easily.  The girls don't smile as easily and it becomes sort of a chore to take pics as they want to pose or won't sit still.  So I just stopped taking them I guess. I took pics on my phone but it's not the same.  I think when I got my larger camera (not an SLR) I thought I would get more into taking pics and using the ISO (which it does have), etc. but I never really did. Then I couldn't fit the camera in my purse and it became a pain to carry it.  But I feel like I was so great at chronicling the girls first few years and then as most parents do, you sort of stop for a bit. I need to get back into it and start again chronicling our lives.  I want them to have the pics and to look back on the life we have.  They obviously love to see the pics of how they looked.

Anyway, we are drying out the house and hoping for new flooring if insurance will cover it (if they won't, we will have to pay for it as our carpet has been torn out from LGA's room, hallway, and our bathroom lino (our bathroom is on the other side of the wall from her closet and bedroom).  We were gonna put pipes in the attic, but my uncle was quick to point out we could get leaks in the walls.  However, our plumber feels sure that we will get other leaks.  Now we know we are not the only ones experiencing it as our friends' neighbors have the same type of link.  I will be glad for the heaters to come off.  I just don't do well with heat ever since I had the 'major female op' and am not on hormones at all.  Heat and I are not friends.  I have been really miserable.

The good thing out of this is that LGA gets an Ikea style loft bed (hers is the more bunkbed style)
http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/10123996/

I am hoping this is a good choice for her.  She needs storage under her bed as the rooms are small.  BGA likes her loft bed but doesn't like being so close to the ceiling.  But I think LGA has wanted the same type of bed BGA has and so this will be her first bed of her own and not a handmedown bed.

The trundle bed LGA had was originally BGA's and was painted white and Dave put spraypaint flowers, ladybugs, dragonflies, etc. on it. It served them both well but was older and was harder to put together and take apart.  So when we knew we had to clear out the furniture and bed, we decided to keep the mattress and donate the bed. LGA is excited to have a new bed, so hope to get her room set up soon.

Anyway, I was just thinking of how I felt as a first time parent, and how my life changed to a life as a mom.  It felt weird to me at times like I was living outside someone else's body sometimes.  That feeling eventually went away and it just became life as I knew it and lived it.  Watching a video like that just brought back those feelings of how I felt early days in to the girls being here.  Now it's so much different.  We have all come a long way as a Family of 4....

Random Wednesday Stuff.........

Well, our leak was fixed yesterday and the company that dries out the concrete slabs came today.  It looks like we will get new vinyl flooring for our bathroom and new carpet! On a side note our carpet is almost 13 yrs old, original carpet.  The guy from the clean up co had his 'concrete' guy come and tear up the lino in the bathroom.  That's all he did, tear up the lino and some baseboard (and not even the baseboard in the bathroom that COULD be replaced).  He charged $900 something to do that and hauled out a bathroom cabinet that needed to go bye-bye.  Not to mention evidently our plumber charged WAY more than our insurance co wants to pay out and we might be responsible because, according to Dave (who is having issues about all this and it's really upsetting him that we have to move all our stuff and pack it up so we can get new carpet.  I told him if I can move most of my mother's house by myself, moving stuff for one day to get carpet or flooring is NOT going to be a big deal) because we paid more than we should have.  However, the clean up company said that the plumber we picked was very good and reputable. Dave said the insurance guy when he called to put in the claim sighed when Dave mentioned who we chose for a plumber.  Whatever, dude.  I will be on it like he won't believe.  Plumber told us the only way to avoid another leak is to have the pipes run through the attic, because our soil under the house is bad and is creating the leak.  So I need to take that up with the insurance co.  Who wants to take bets on how that will go?  Anyone?  Yes, we all know they won't want to pay out so it will be up to me to convince them I am not going to go through another concrete slab/hot water leak.  It's disruptive to my home Mr. Insurance Company Man.

The girls are sleeping together and actually LGA is sleeping so much better.  There has been talking and "stop!  GO TO SLEEP" heard for a bit till they settle down.  BUT......the key has been to give BGA some Melatonin along with LGA and that way they BOTH go to sleep and BGA is not egging LGA on and they fall asleep so no staying up super late.  I really wish they could share rooms again as I really would like my space back in LGA's room for my beading hobby and Dave would like to put his stuff in there too.  But BGA does not want to share and LGA has a habit of getting into BGA's stuff.  So I guess we'll go back to them having separate rooms and all of our stuff crammed into our already crowded bedroom.

So on to the insurance part of it, and then deciding on flooring and if we can afford to upgrade our bathroom fixtures, toilet, etc.  I don't think we can swing it, and it's getting Dave antsy when I mention it so will have to wait to approach him again.

I wanted to mention a company that I have recently discovered (and I am not paid or anything to mention them) through a couple of bloggers who post having their stuff,
https://www.groopdealz.com/

I have gotten a few inexpensive necklaces and earrings, tops, etc. from them.  They also have various holiday themed items and I have enjoyed everything I have ordered so far.

I recently ordered these boots and I can't wait to get them (and it will probably be too hot to wear them unless the weather cools from the low 70's trend we are starting this week).

https://www.groopdealz.com/deal/fringed-mid-calf-boot-with-free-shipping/2075


I also ordered this and it's really dainty and cute:



I ordered some necklaces like these, which appear to be "Anthro" inspired:



Thought I would share a few more things I am liking these days.  Groopdealz is fairly inexpensive too, which makes me happy.  So far all their stuff holds up well too. 

Got a good note from LGA's teacher saying no math homework rest of week (THANK YOU!!!) and that she is to read.  She wrote that LGA is making progress in reading and that she was proud of her.  The note that I got last week was from the sub, and the teacher had a sub for 3 days due to jury duty.  LGA didn't tell us, but when I wrote the note back to the teacher, I got no reply or the teacher did not come to me to talk to me after school like she normally does.  So, we saw her on Monday and she explained that she never would have expected LGA to sit there for an hour and write the rules (HELLO??? Seriously!) and that the sub must have done it.  Glad to have THAT mystery solved.  I felt for sure LGA's teacher would not have written that.  Dave swore it was not her and he was right.  But LGA didn't volunteer she had a sub, she just struggled through the week.  I'm so glad to hear she likes reading and I hope she will continue. I need to step it up now and offer more reading time.  The teacher is starting to require it this week, so that's a good thing too.

Well, off to see what everyone is up to.  Hubby came home early because I think he's just not happy with the whole carpet/lino situation.  So.... wish me luck for the rest of the week.  Also going to get LGA a new loft type of bed as the trundle bed she had was hard to open, hard to take apart and put together, and it's time LGA had her own bed. Wish us luck this week.

And.....check out Groopdealz. 

She Had A Good Time

BGA had a great time at her party.  The girl stayed 4 hours and there were still a couple of girls there when we picked her up.  The mother when we dropped her off, would not let me come in the house and sort of stood at the door not opening it (but then again they have a chihuahua dog and I do that with my little dogs when I don't want them to get out).  She told me to come get BGA 'whenever' so I said, "well she has our cell #'s so maybe you could have her call when the girls are done?"  She said yes. 

We took LGA to a movie.  LGA is always lost without BGA.  She always is.  We have tried splitting them up but LGA just wants to be around BGA.   BGA doesn't want to always be around LGA. LGA got upset and started acting out, even though as I am reading through my FASD groups, I had read that it's easier to tell her ahead of time so she can prepare.  So I did that, and also told her she would have time with Daddy and me, just her.  So she acted out a bit till we dropped off BGA.  Then she was quiet as we looked up the movie times.  We took her to Kid From Another Planet, I think it's called.  And it was cute.  She got popcorn, water, and candy.  She was in her element at dinner (El Torito, and they had THE most wonderful Tortilla soup and sort of peachy flavored iced tea.  And that is all I ate as we had lunch late and popcorn so I was not hungry but needed to eat), and of course bouncing from the candy.  The people on either side of us left shortly after we got there.  Oh well.

When we picked up BGA Dave went in and the mom gave him some cake for us.  BGA smelled of perfume, said she gave her friend a makeover, and the girl who was the one that told her the party was cancelled showed up for an hour and a half, and left.  The girls partied on.  BGA came home chatting and had a great time.  I'm so glad.  LGA had a few moments of being jealous but we got through it and turns out BGA was jealous that LGA got to go to the movie she wanted to go to.  So they each were jealous of the other.  That always gets me, the intense jealousy. Wow. 

When we came home our water leak finally came through the carpet, a small amount, and it was larger today so we called out a plumber and are getting it fixed this week.  It's centered in LGA's room so all of her stuff has to come out and Dave and I will be clearing it out tomorrow.  We found a small leak in our bedroom but we're not sure if Dave stepped in water and carried it in or if the large leak is in the bedroom.  I sure hope not because it will be next to impossible to take all of our bedroom furniture out of the room (CA king sleep number bed!!).  The plumber felt that the piping they used was not up to par and we already know from 4 yrs ago, that it was not wrapped, so to get the pipes re done is a very high amount that we do not have to pay, so we face another leak under the slab. I will see what the insurance says and if they might pay for it.

So wish us luck this week as we deal with the leaky pipes and two girls sharing a room again.  Ugh.  I can't bear to think about it, but I must.  But luckily we know what needs to be done and it will be fixed.

My little girl is growing up.  She attended her first tween party and really had a good time!  I am so glad, but it's so bittersweet.  I feel like time is going fast.  It seems like only yesterday when we brought this scared 6 yr old home and now she will be 12 this year.  The time has flown!  So much has happened in our lives since the girls came home.  I am finding I am trying to take the time to enjoy life as it passes by and savor the moments. It just feels right.

Update..........

BGA cannot find her violin.  According to another student they saw an older boy put a violin in his backpack.  So not sure if I should call the school and leave another msg for the principal or not.  The principal did not bother to call me back.

Also, BGA was invited to a birthday party tomorrow by her friend A, who if you read the background here, know that she knew A in her other school, A moved in the 3rd grade and the girls became reaquainted with each other this year at this school.  But as is often the case, there is one girl who puts a wrench in everything.  S has been A's friend since A came to the school and now BGA comes and A wants to be friends with BGA, but S doesn't.  So, A cancelled her bday party which was supposed to be on Wed.  Then she came back and said the party was on for tomorrow.  Well, S told BGA that it was off yesterday.  But it was never off.  BGA, not being up on these things (as she gets few birthday invites, the schools around here are just not like that) didn't think to ask A if the party was off so she came home and said the party was off.  Then when I picked her up today she found out that the party is back on.  Why are girls SO mean.  This S girl looks mean and you know she is when the teacher even said when told of their issues in the beginning of the year, "she needs to be knocked down a few notches."  I'm just glad BGA thought to ask A if her party was on. 

I'm a bit nervous as I'm not sure of the dynamic at A's house, knowing only her mother has a boyfriend, and A does not like him, and that the grandparents live with them.  Boyfriend is supposedly not going to be around. I guess I just have to trust all will be well. I gave the spiel to BGA that if something doesn't feel right she is to call us and we will come pick her up, etc.  Then of course LGA did not get invited so now we have her disappointment at being left behind, to deal with and to find something she can do also. I am hoping that S and BGA can get along too, and that there isn't any drama or fights.  A is a very sweet, quiet young girl and I like her a lot.  This is the 2nd friend that BGA has become friends with, so I hope they can last as friends. The only reason the first one didn't is we switched schools, and didn't get the other girl's info so we could arrange a play date.

So wish us luck this weekend............and to figure out what kind of insurance we have on the violin.  Ugh.  I don't understand why things happen to BGA, glasses get ruined, violin is stolen, etc.

Whew, what a short week!

Wow, it was a short week, but it was a long week..anyone ever have that when you have a holiday week?

We sure did.  The girls always have a hard time when one of us is gone, I think I have mentioned it on this blog and the old one, before.  They just want us all together, where we are supposed to be.  I think it has a lot to do with what they experienced earlier in their lives before they came to us, and I understand it completely.

In the past BGA would be the one who would need to 'decompress' and come down from the emotions she felt while one of us was gone (usually me).  There would be acting out, there would be her mad at me, etc.  But this time it was LGA.  She has become a huge mommy's girl since my mother passed away. If you were to delve into it, I am sure it would be obvious that she's afraid of mommy leaving like my mother did.  So I have done a lot of reassurance, and usually at bedtime, there will be a few "mommy you still there?  mommy I love you!" (we have a very small house so you can hear everything in it) before she settles into sleep.  BGA seemed fine this time, no acting out, no being mad at me, just happiness that I was back, a few more hugs and kisses than I usually get (and these girls have always given hugs and kisses, I will miss that when they are teens and don't want to appear unpopular to hug or kiss mom) and wanting to talk to me. I really wish I could have taken BGA on the trip with me but that would not have been fair to LGA, so BGA stayed behind (and probably easier on my family, as she can be a bit loud and hyper and there were no other kids there).

So, LGA was the one acting out a bit, it started on Monday when I got home and we went to dinner.  LGA gets upset if she can't sit by me.  She will act out at dinner and somehow convince her sister to give up her seat next to me because she throws a fit or becomes loud. I don't give or let BGA give in because I don't want LGA thinking she can get her way by doing this, but sometimes I do let BGA give in because she never did it before.  I think it shows she's come a long way.  So, we managed to have a table where we could all sort of sit next to each other.  That always works out good.  Lately, what really has made me happy is the girls will let Dave and I sit together.  They will say, "Mommy you and Daddy sit together."  I love when they do this because I get to sit next to Dave and I enjoy that.  Plus the girls are having to sit side by side and make it work.  No fighting, no sitting across from each other and trying to kick each other.  So LGA said, "I sit by MOMMY.  I am going to sit by her."  She did for the most part as Dave and I sat together and BGA sat across from us, LGA to my right.  But of course she was coming down from holding it all in over the weekend.  In our case, the girls have gotten used to getting through when one of us is gone and then when we get back, they feel comfortable letting it out.  Even if they have stayed with someone else and come home.  They have felt comfortable, but they have needed to process the emotions of us/them being away.  Luckily I am used to this and I know what I need to do to comfort them and reassure them, and each time gets easier, as BGA now needs very little time to process her emotions..........but now LGA is experiencing it, as she goes where BGA goes and follows what BGA experiences.

Tuesday when LGA got home from Girl Scouts where she informed me that she didn't want to go, that she wanted to come home and be with me.  We had double digit carryover math, which is hard for her and she's struggling, but the teacher is telling me that she is doing it, and she threw a fit.  But, Mommy expected it and I was able to head her off before it got fully in gear.  But I knew (whereas the teacher seems to be surprised at this, which makes me wonder if she has any trauma experience) that she would need to do this, so I prepared myself that it would be a hard week. Maybe because I had a break and weekend to recharge, but I found myself calm.  I found myself not wanting to be frustrated with the behavior but to stop it before it got fully started.  We got the math done, but she was obviously on overload.

Let's recap, while I was gone, on Friday, LGA's friend M (who is autistic), told her (and FASD kids tend to go along with what someone tells them to do) to throw food.  She did.  She got in trouble.  The weekend with mommy gone, the emotions of mommy being gone, being home where there was no set routine and Daddy and girls did what they wanted, but no routine.  Then school and having to go back after not fully dealing with her emotions.  M says to throw food and LGA initiates it this time and gets lunch recess for the rest of the week.  She is upset, she doesn't want lunch recess taken away, and she comes home on Tuesday after Girl Scouts, in a bad mood.  Add the math in there that she is struggling with and emotions were high.  She knows mommy will be disappointed in the food throwing incident and knows that her teacher wrote mommy two notes.  We talk about how we should not throw food, or do things that others tell us to, if we know it will get us in trouble.   She calms easily.

The teacher writes me a note telling me that they asked LGA to write the class rules...........for an HOUR.  Now, I don't know how they thought that my child who is FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder for those of  you who don't know the abbreviation) and ADHD, with hyperactive behavior, to sit still and write the rules for an hour.  She only wrote one paragraph.  Well, I decide to write a note back, and I can say it was a bit sarcastic but I did say I wasn't trying to be sarcastic, in my note. I told the teacher that I wondered how she could get LGA to sit still for an hour, because it has not been my experience, as her mother, that she can sit still for an hour (well she can if it's something that interests her, but what kid will sit still when they know they have gotten in trouble and are upset).  I said I expected a half hour would be appropriate.  I asked if it was pre afternoon meds, because if she hadn't had them, she would not sit still. I asked what the outcome was since the teacher wrote that it was "unacceptable behavior."  Um, ok...........what did you expect??? (I did not write that but I WAS thinking it)  I did not get an answer back.  SO, LGA struggled a bit, and came home with a few tantrums she wanted to start, and which I had to head off before they got bad.  I wrote the teacher a note and explained that double digit math with carryover was hard and she was fighting me on it.  Teacher did write a note back yesterday saying she didn't want her to fight it and if it became a problem she would work with her at school.  And the homework came home yesterday with double digit math and no carryover, so once I convinced LGA no carryover she was ok.  But she has to add with a number chart, unless the numbers can be added on two hands or she has memorized what the numbers are, added together (which she does do).

The good part of her week was when she read me a story.  It was a first grade level story and about animals on safari, but she was able to read elephant, giraffe, lion, rhino and she had a hard time pronouncing, but she tried and got it pretty well, safari.  I try to think when I pronounce a word, where she will get stuck, and try to have her watch my mouth and she will do what I do. But she likes to read, and she's making progress and she likes to read to me.  I'm happy about that as BGA is not much of a reader and feels that she has to do it, she will very rarely read just to read, but LGA wants to.  Once she gets it, she will try harder.  She was able to remember what the words were on the next page when they were repeated and could sound them out.  Some were harder and we worked on them together, but she was willing.  Last year, she was not willing.  This is the first full year in Special Ed Day class and I have to say it's really been good for her.  I wish we'd done it in kinder.

BGA had a rough week too, but we're hoping it ends well.  Her violin was missing when she went to go play it on Wednesday.  We looked here at home and didn't find it, talked to the teacher and left the principal a msg because BGA felt it was stolen.  However, we think after talking to the teacher, who thinks that BGA is very responsible with it in class and the teacher has them lock them away in a cabinet during school, that she probably left it out last week.  So she has to go see if she can find it today.  Both the violin and the bow are missing.  So we had to explain that she needs to be more careful with it and remember to put it away after playing.  We are renting and we have insurance, but still...........

The good that came out of that conversation with the teacher?  The teacher feels BGA should go into the magnet program at the school next year.    She is a bit dramatic (the teacher) and said, "She needs to go into this program or she will not make it!"  Wow. Ok.  Well, I appreciate the honesty (teacher has a very difficult class, but the good thing is BGA has not been in with the troubled/acting out kids this year and that makes us very happy).  We were told we could not get her into magnet as her grades were not good enough,  Teacher says that is not the case and she will help us get her into the program next year.  Definite positives.  BGA has been extra loving coming for hugs and snuggling with me since I have been back.  But she's also been giving her dad hugs too. I'm happy to see this.  I know we will probably face some challenges with her when she hits her teens, but I am happy to see that she is thriving even if her homework on her report card came back as a U and her math slipped.  She has made some growth mentally and I like seeing that.  Someone once told me that for however long the child was with BP (BGA left her BP when she was 5) it takes that much longer for them to move past that stage and bond. It has been almost 5 yrs that we have had the girls and I am seeing some very positive growth.  I know there is more work to be done with her and that we are behind in some areas, but it is nice after almost 5 yrs, to see some positive growth.

We still have a cat with urinary issues after two rounds of antibiotics.  We changed to a different food and restricted her eating the dogs' food (she will eat the dogs' food even if she has her own) and changed to a higher fiber food as the vet felt she could lose some weight and this would make her poop more instead of holding on to it. Well, she has lost some weight, but she still has urinary issues so now we are facing buying more expensive food for her, and she keeps running to the litter box, every half hour.  So back to the antibiotics, but she doesn't even fight them now, she just lets us give them to her (before she fought us and we had to wrap her in a towel to give it to her).  I feel bad, but I am really regretting getting this cat. I have never felt that way about a cat before, but....this one was semi feral (don't ever get a semi feral cat with kids) and while she has come a long way, she still bites when she is mad, scratches if she doesn't like what the girls are doing, and peed on my bed, 2x, my footstool for the living room chair and squatted on the seat of the family room chair.  Luckily we caught it and I could wash the cushions (and have deep clean/sanitize on my washer settings).  We have to keep her in the bathroom because of this urinary infection as I'm afraid she will pee the bed again(or anywhere else if she can't make it to the box), with her litter box and a bed, food/water. She hates it but it takes an hour on that washer setting and if I have to wash all my bedding it's a pain.  I didn't really want another cat and neither did Dave, after both of us having grown up with cats, but the girls LOVE LOVE LOVE cats.  I hate doing the litterbox (finally switched to a low dust litter, as I am allergic to dust) but Dave did it for the other cats for 9 or 10 yrs and he hated doing it.  He swore he would not do it again.  We swore no more cats.  Then I saw this sweet calico face on Petfinder and we went to "look" (yeah right, who just looks??) and came home with psycho kitten.  She's loving when she wants to be, will lick your nose and purr and wrap her body around you when you are standing, but is NOT a lap cat, nor does she like to be held.  She will sometimes lay next to you while you watch tv. But now, with having to keep her in the bathroom during the night and when we are gone, she is going back to not being friendly again.  It took her a long time to become friendly, almost like bonding and attachment.  So, I am torn.  I would like to place her in another home, as it's just too much for me to want to handle, but the girls get upset everytime it's mentioned (it was only initially mentioned when the vet claimed he could find nothing wrong with her and she was peeing out of spite so we said, 'nope not gonna have that' and mentioned she might need a new home).  LGA's teacher came and talked to me one day and asked if the cat was going away because LGA was upset.   So I'm torn.  I've never given a cat away in this situation, but I'm tired of getting bitten (and she mostly bites me) and I'm tired of taking care of her.  I know those cat lovers out there will be mad, but really, we are now on our 2nd food change, and if this doesn't cure her on this round of antibiotics, I just don't know.

Add to that, our leak, which I think is in several places in addition to LGA's room.  Our insurance said without any damage, it will be up to us to pay for it.  It could be a huge leak and we could have a real high bill.  So, feeling a bit anxious on that.  LGA originally had a crack in her concrete (which we did not know about) 4 yrs ago so that's why the water came through the carpet but there is no water damage this time, so we will have to pay to fix it.  Evidently a few people have had water damages in this complex because I remember the class action suit we were a part of (and got only a small amt as we had not had any issues come up at that point) they wrote in the suit that people complained of water damage.  Now we know what that means, the 2nd leak in 4 yrs. Same time frame we had the leak 4 yrs ago, as well.  We think it's a hot water line leak as LGA's room is warm, like it was 4 yrs ago.

Cars also have issues, so we have a few things to take care of.  When it rains, it seems to pour.  But the sun is out and there is a good weekend (albeit quiet for the most part) in store for us.  And the girls finished the week on positive notes, so what more could you ask for?  Enjoy your weekend, blog readers.  :-)