Do you have a picky eater in your house?
We have a picky eater in our house.......BGA. BGA was not a picky eater when she came home at age 6. She devoured any and all food at 6. Was worried food would not be there and upset if a meal was delayed, or worried if we were out close to a meal time and she wanted to know when the meal would be.
Now after 5 yrs, this has changed somewhat. I started to see pickiness around food after she had been here a year. She would turn her nose up at something for dinner, and take forever to eat whatever it was, almost like she was gagging. BGA would finish it (or the equivalent of what we consider finishing it, with some crumbs and parts of meat she didn't like, or pronounce, "this has fat on it. I don't like fat." ) and we'd move on. However, it became apparent that she really only liked certain foods, Pizza, Meatloaf, Cheeseburgers, Fettucine Alfredo and Tacos. She would not venture to try new things, she wanted what she knew. As I tried (and failed) to get a meal rotation going, I would try out new foods to see which foods the girls would like. I could always tell if BGA did not like it because she would move her fork around and eat the other items on the plate first. She doesn't like mashed potatoes but does like some vegetables (Lima beans being one of them.......ewwww, not a fan of the lima bean, personally). So I make sure she gets a good helping of vegetables and sometimes the girls will fight over who gets the last serving in the bowl. Seriously, who ever fought over the last vegetable serving? I certainly did not. I like vegetables now but hated them as a kid.
When I started cooking and using new recipes, I didn't catch on at first, because I thought she really wanted to know what I was fixing and how it was fixed, ie an interest in cooking, she would ask me what was in a certain dish. I happily obliged and told her exactly what I put in each dish, really thinking she had a genuine interest.........wrong. She wanted to know what was in it, in case it had something she didn't like in it so she could delay meal time and push the food around her plate. So now when she asks, I tell her, "oh it's got a lot of stuff in it. Try it." Fool me once (or a few times evidently) not gonna happen again. Her newest tactic is to ask a lot of questions at the dinner table and get us all talking. Took a few to figure that one out but Dave figured that one out first.
Meal times at our house can last 30 mins or more, sometimes up to 40 mins as they eat their meals. LGA used to be a fast eater, and my 'good' eater. She likes all foods. She will not have 2nds if she really doesn't like the food we are having. But most times she has 2nds. She's a light girl, still, both girls are, and because of their issues with food in the early days, they had 2nds. I don't mind them having 2nds at all, as they are in lower percentiles for weight, most likely due to the ADHD meds. BGA will sometimes have 2nds but very very rarely. Unless it's vegetables. However, I have come to find out that the reason she likes vegetables is she can serve herself out of the bowl. We have not previously let them serve themselves because we had issues of people taking large servings and then not enough for others, or not eating what they have taken. So we got used to serving up plates and putting whatever is left on the table for whoever wants it. That works for us and the kids can take 2nds off the table if they want it.
Meal times in our house though, are taking a long time these days. I think part of that is because of the meds, so I haven't really made a big deal of it. In the summer the girls and I sat at the table and had discussions about stuff, talked a bit over our meal. My family (including aunts, uncles and cousins) has always done this. We would go over to my mom's sister's house once a month when my cousin and her kids came to visit and have a meal (even holidays would be at my aunt's house) so we would all sit around the table after the meal was eaten and talk. Dave's family was more of the 'eat and leave the table' kind so he really does not want to sit at the table and have discussions, he wants to move on. The girls find this frustrating at times as they want to talk (however, it has lately become a bedtime routine stalling tactic, so when we are done, we are done). So we try to get some conversation going if we can at the dinner table, while still making sure two girls eat their dinner. I have tried to get the girls moving faster for meals, but either an ADHD med has already worn off, or they just had it in the am and it has not kicked in yet. Either way, it's been hard to get them moving for meals. I know that is why BGA didn't gain much weight at school, because she has to rush her meals and because she is picky she wouldn't eat what was offered or not enough to sustain her.
BGA gained 8 pounds over the summer. Since she's in a lower percentile (I think 25%) I really wanted her to gain weight. She's been a size 7/8 in pants for 3 yrs and finally grew to wear a 10/12 (with an adjustable waist). I really wanted her to grow a bit. I knew it was because we ate well and she had time to eat. So my worry for her this year is that she will lose weight. I have discussed with her that we can send a lunch if she's not liking cafeteria food. I have the menus printed up and she knows what they have each day. She eats breakfast at home most days, however, LGA eats with her class in the classroom (and her teacher helps her pick her meal as we asked if she would and she or her aides will do it for bkfst and lunch). LGA would prefer to eat at home but there is no way her morning routine will allow for it, to get her on the bus. So I give her control over her snack (most days). I send a snack in for LGA and BGA's teacher also said it would be ok, although BGA's teacher prefers no fruit or fresh food, only pre-packaged. LGA's prefers fresh.
I am learning to pick some foods for BGA to try that are new. They say you need to introduce a food to a child many times before they will eat it. That was the case for some foods for BGA that she will eat routinely now. But I always have her try what we are eating. If I know she won't really like the food I will give her a smaller portion than the rest of us and let her know if she likes it she can have 2nds. Very rarely if I have picked something she does not like will she have 2nds. She is starting to like casseroles, however I am not a huge casserole fan. I have made them but I really find myself having a small portion whereas the girls will want a bigger portion than they are used to.
I am happy that LGA will eat most things and never turns down a food, although her current favorite is peanut butter and jelly and she will pick that for lunch most days when we are home. I have to say I was a picky eater so I do get it. I would prefer peanut butter and jelly to pizza. I remember my mother telling me a story and I have a vague memory of it, that my mom left me with a neighbor who also had kids around my age. The neighbor wanted to get pizza (which in the late 60's was a treat I will bet). Mom said I refused the pizza and only wanted peanut butter and jelly so the lady had to make a separate sandwich for me. I didn't care for most vegetables, the textures always were weird to me. So I get BGA's picky eating. I don't force her but I do make sure she eats what we are having. I am not of the "cook another meal" for the picky eater.
I have found meal times to be challenging at times, but I am happy that BGA will try and eat her meal. I know it could have been a lot worse, so I go with it and don't let her heavy sigh when she sits down at her plate, get me down. :-)
In other news the girls are going to be flower girls in my cousin's wedding, which is coming up soon. They are very excited about this. I don't know how they will do, have no clue really, but there is a rehearsal the day before so I am happy about that. They will have an idea of what they are supposed to do going down the aisle, etc. Dave cannot come with me, work is pretty stressful for him these days, so my friend T is coming with us (wedding is in the bay area) to help with the girls and hang out when we come back. I am not a hair person so have no clue what to do with their hair. I never was a long haired kid, except for a couple of times in my growing up years. Mom kept my hair short (probably because I don't think she knew what to do with hair either) most of my life and I have no clue about french braids or curling it, etc. I am hoping T and I can figure it out. If not we may have to get a load of bobby pins and take them to a Supercuts or whatever hair place is near and open. Otherwise my other choice was to flat iron their hair (they each have bangs) and then put some pretty hair/bobby pins in. I wish I knew how to do hair, I just never learned. T says she's not sure either, but we're gonna give it a shot. Maybe some of my cousin's friends (who are all young 30somethings) can help us out.
Not much else new here these days. Getting ready for fall, my favorite time of the year. We have lots of milestones to celebrate, the biggest being my 'milestone' birthday. I certainly do not feel my age, so hard to believe I have this big birthday coming up.
The girls are settling in to school. The bully situation came back up for BGA, so I emailed the teacher and we will see if she responds. BGA tells me she is going to adopt her grandchildren so am curious to see what that is about. BGA chose not to mention she was adopted but made the mistake of telling one of the bullies at her old school (both girls attended the old school together, then the bully moved to the current school and BGA moved to it last year) that she was adopted and the bully told one of the boys who made a hurtful comment. Younger BGA would have flipped. This time she calmly told me what the boy said and we discussed it. But I felt bad for her. So I am sure there will be more discussions coming up. I let the teacher know she was adopted (her last year's teacher knew and the two teachers discuss students, as well as this year's teacher is friends with LGA's teacher who knows the girls are adopted. But I did tell the teacher that BGA was choosing not to tell students. Now that's out of the window as the bully told a student). And now we navigate the system and mean girls.
LGA had a hard transition, lots of fits/tantrums, lots of bad days. But almost a month in, it appears she's doing better, as she settles in with the new routine and the older kids. She told me they were bullying her so I told the teacher. We are in the lying phase of FASD for her these days, so I am never sure what is the truth or what she perceives is the truth as the FASD mind sometimes perceives things that are not true, to be true. So I just tell the teacher what she tells me (told the teacher that she was fabricating the truth a lot more these days and got a blank look - really? You aren't up on FASD? Well, guess some printing material is in order. However, this is a teacher who has taught 25+ years and has had foster children, she should be aware of it). There are still days LGA will hold it in at school and then come home where she feels safe and let it out. I have to admit as she gets older the behaviors are more challening and harder for me to deal with some days. It is hard and there are days I have felt really down about LGA and her FASD. I think Dave and I need to find a support group to attend, so will try to find one in the area. There are days I just really hate her behaviors, but I do understand how her mind works and I am learning to not react which only gets her going into a full blown fit. But some days it's easier to do that then others. When I am not feeling well it's really hard not to buy into the behavior. School wise her reading is taking off, as I posted in a previous post, and she did a page of double digit math on her own while I sat there with her (I still have to sit with her to do homework). That is great for her and she seems to realize what she is missing reading wise and is determined to read, which I like (BGA is not really a reader, I wish that she was as I am a reader).
BGA and I are working out her homework. I have let her know she will be accountable (4th and 5th grades she lied a lot about not having homework) in 6th grade and that I will be in contact with her teacher about homework. I tried to let the teacher know about homework and her issues with it during the back to school night but we really didn't get to talk about it. Her teacher and I think we know each other from somewhere but haven't figured it out yet. I don't know where it could be as I don't really know a lot of people in our town. Also she appears to be older and my age, which is nice and more like LGA's teacher (they are friends). What I also like about the two teachers is LGA was having issues having recess with her sister and not being able to play with her (BGA wanted to play with the big kids) so I told this to LGA's teacher. At back to school I found out that LGA's special ed class and BGA's class were having PE together. I thought that was pretty awesome.
So far the year is going ok. We will keep hoping it goes ok. Part of me misses the carefree days of summer. But a part of me also enjoys more free time. :-)
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Reading.......
So we are a couple of weeks into school here, and it's going ok, ups and downs. We will have Back to School Night this week, so we can meet BGA's teacher (we of course already know LGA's teacher) and the new principal. I am always nervous to see how the new teacher will be and what she will require, will she 'get' BGA?
BGA's teacher sent home a 6 page info/supply list last week. We had some of the supplies but had to go out and get some of the stuff on the list we didn't have......no big deal. But what I found interesting was the list of the teacher's class rules. I know that ADD BGA is going to have a hard time following some of these rules. Last year's teacher, while nice, was a bit loopy and had a lot of personal issues going on, so let a LOT of stuff in her class slide. This teacher is NOT going to do that, which makes me happy, but I am concerned how BGA is going to do. She needed to bring the supply list home by Friday. She forgot it at her desk the first day, so we were unable to get supplies as it was a weekend and she said the teacher had left the room. So on Monday I remind her that she needs the supply list and could she find it in the tray under her desk and put it in her backpack. She forgets. I send her back to the room and she brings the list back with her. Tuesday Dave and I shop and get her stuff ready to take to school the next day. But this is the issue we had with her in 4th grade due to her ADD, and being disorganized. So, I'm thinking she will need to take meds at school in the pm, because I am sure her new teacher is going to say she needs her pm meds. When I pick her up she talks non stop the whole way home, barely pausing for a breath. She is all over the car, moving around and not able to sit still, until I remind her she needs to sit in her seat because the car is moving.
Also, with a new teacher I have to decide what I can personally reveal about BGA's past and how things work in her brain. Last year she did not want to tell the kids at school she was adopted. She told kids at her previous school and was teased quite a bit about it. Her teacher last year knew as I told her in a form I had to fill out. So I don't know if last year's teacher will tell this year's teacher or not.
I did not attend the first day of school, so I have not met the teacher as stated above. Dave does the first day of school and has for a couple of years now. He's not always involved in the day to day so this gives him a chance to meet teachers and see the classroom, etc. This year I think they were a bit late and had to wait for a train, so he missed meeting the teacher, but did drop BGA off in her classroom and LGA had the same room so he said hi to her teacher. Up to this point I have not met BGA's teacher so don't have any opinions formed, however, I can see by her 6 page document sent home that she is a bit strict. I found it funny that BGA says she's already been muttering under her breath at certain kids (last year's 5th grade class was a really hard one so this year's teacher has some of the same students). Last year's teacher is teaching the pull out kids and not having a classroom setting, so she said she's still got some of the kids she had last year. I feel sorry for her because I think by the end of the year last year, she was just done. Ready for school to be over.
On the reading front, which is the title of this post, LGA has been going gangbusters on reading. Last year she was probably reading at a kinder level, and reading two letter words. This year, 3 and 4 letter words/sentences and she can almost read a full sentence. We still have the repetition issue and sentences she knew at the beginning of the week, seemed harder by the end and words just weren't there. However, last week was the first full week of school, so we just worked on her book bit by bit each day. But to see her reading is a really good thing. I had not seen her read like that before. It was really a great feeling to see her read a small book. I'd say she's at first grade level, but that's ok, she's reading and that makes us happy. This week her teacher added some double digit math, adding, and carrying over, and LGA did not want to do it, but I pushed through one sheet with her, then Dave took over and did the second one with her and she finished it. I like seeing how she will pick out words in various pieces of paper or magazines she sees. I think it's time to dig out her books and see which ones she can read.
So far BGA has been doing some reading each day. I am hoping the summer reading we let her do, staying up past bedtime, will help her bring her reading up a bit this year. She did good in second to last semester, then the last semester her reading level dropped. We are also having her read a half hour each day after school and she is not fighting us on it. We have had the conversations about homework (last two years she has consistently lied to get out of homework) and her teacher is strict about that (no surprise there) too. The teacher will call us if work is not being consistently turned in (as opposed to last year's teacher who never let us know there was a problem till BGA got a U on homework on one of her report cards).
Expectations are being laid out, we meet the teacher this week and we hope this will be a good year. LGA is adjusting to the transition ok, not great, but getting there. There have been meltdowns and things that set her off after school last week and week before, but I hope it's transition and that it will even out a bit when she settles. Told her teacher she reported the older kids were teasing her and teacher said she'd look into it. We are in the lying phase of FASD, so hard to know what is attention seeking and what is truth. But I tell her before I talk to her teacher to give her the chance to either agree or tell me what she said was not true (has happened).
I'm just happy to see the reading progressing. On her state testing report, LGA jumpe from a Far Below Grade Level to Below Grade Level (then there is Grade Level and Proficient - these two levels BGA stays around - and Advanced). I'm really happy with that progress as she has been at Far Below since she started kinder. That lets me know she's making progress and I couldn't be happier.
Hope those of you with kids in school have a great school year.
BGA's teacher sent home a 6 page info/supply list last week. We had some of the supplies but had to go out and get some of the stuff on the list we didn't have......no big deal. But what I found interesting was the list of the teacher's class rules. I know that ADD BGA is going to have a hard time following some of these rules. Last year's teacher, while nice, was a bit loopy and had a lot of personal issues going on, so let a LOT of stuff in her class slide. This teacher is NOT going to do that, which makes me happy, but I am concerned how BGA is going to do. She needed to bring the supply list home by Friday. She forgot it at her desk the first day, so we were unable to get supplies as it was a weekend and she said the teacher had left the room. So on Monday I remind her that she needs the supply list and could she find it in the tray under her desk and put it in her backpack. She forgets. I send her back to the room and she brings the list back with her. Tuesday Dave and I shop and get her stuff ready to take to school the next day. But this is the issue we had with her in 4th grade due to her ADD, and being disorganized. So, I'm thinking she will need to take meds at school in the pm, because I am sure her new teacher is going to say she needs her pm meds. When I pick her up she talks non stop the whole way home, barely pausing for a breath. She is all over the car, moving around and not able to sit still, until I remind her she needs to sit in her seat because the car is moving.
Also, with a new teacher I have to decide what I can personally reveal about BGA's past and how things work in her brain. Last year she did not want to tell the kids at school she was adopted. She told kids at her previous school and was teased quite a bit about it. Her teacher last year knew as I told her in a form I had to fill out. So I don't know if last year's teacher will tell this year's teacher or not.
I did not attend the first day of school, so I have not met the teacher as stated above. Dave does the first day of school and has for a couple of years now. He's not always involved in the day to day so this gives him a chance to meet teachers and see the classroom, etc. This year I think they were a bit late and had to wait for a train, so he missed meeting the teacher, but did drop BGA off in her classroom and LGA had the same room so he said hi to her teacher. Up to this point I have not met BGA's teacher so don't have any opinions formed, however, I can see by her 6 page document sent home that she is a bit strict. I found it funny that BGA says she's already been muttering under her breath at certain kids (last year's 5th grade class was a really hard one so this year's teacher has some of the same students). Last year's teacher is teaching the pull out kids and not having a classroom setting, so she said she's still got some of the kids she had last year. I feel sorry for her because I think by the end of the year last year, she was just done. Ready for school to be over.
On the reading front, which is the title of this post, LGA has been going gangbusters on reading. Last year she was probably reading at a kinder level, and reading two letter words. This year, 3 and 4 letter words/sentences and she can almost read a full sentence. We still have the repetition issue and sentences she knew at the beginning of the week, seemed harder by the end and words just weren't there. However, last week was the first full week of school, so we just worked on her book bit by bit each day. But to see her reading is a really good thing. I had not seen her read like that before. It was really a great feeling to see her read a small book. I'd say she's at first grade level, but that's ok, she's reading and that makes us happy. This week her teacher added some double digit math, adding, and carrying over, and LGA did not want to do it, but I pushed through one sheet with her, then Dave took over and did the second one with her and she finished it. I like seeing how she will pick out words in various pieces of paper or magazines she sees. I think it's time to dig out her books and see which ones she can read.
So far BGA has been doing some reading each day. I am hoping the summer reading we let her do, staying up past bedtime, will help her bring her reading up a bit this year. She did good in second to last semester, then the last semester her reading level dropped. We are also having her read a half hour each day after school and she is not fighting us on it. We have had the conversations about homework (last two years she has consistently lied to get out of homework) and her teacher is strict about that (no surprise there) too. The teacher will call us if work is not being consistently turned in (as opposed to last year's teacher who never let us know there was a problem till BGA got a U on homework on one of her report cards).
Expectations are being laid out, we meet the teacher this week and we hope this will be a good year. LGA is adjusting to the transition ok, not great, but getting there. There have been meltdowns and things that set her off after school last week and week before, but I hope it's transition and that it will even out a bit when she settles. Told her teacher she reported the older kids were teasing her and teacher said she'd look into it. We are in the lying phase of FASD, so hard to know what is attention seeking and what is truth. But I tell her before I talk to her teacher to give her the chance to either agree or tell me what she said was not true (has happened).
I'm just happy to see the reading progressing. On her state testing report, LGA jumpe from a Far Below Grade Level to Below Grade Level (then there is Grade Level and Proficient - these two levels BGA stays around - and Advanced). I'm really happy with that progress as she has been at Far Below since she started kinder. That lets me know she's making progress and I couldn't be happier.
Hope those of you with kids in school have a great school year.
Monday, August 19, 2013
School Started..........and FASD Thoughts
School started last week.
I am glad that school has started as I am ready for LGA to go back to school. Don't flame me for this, but she turned 9, and has been a bit hard to handle this summer at times. I need the break from her during the day and she needs the school structure. More on that in a bit.
LGA got the same teacher she had last year. They moved Ms. M. up to teaching the special ed day class grades 4-6. Since LGA is in modified grade 4, she got to keep her teacher. OH, she and I were both so happy. When I saw her teacher 3 days in, she said that she likes to keep 'her' kids for a couple of years. I want to ask her to please stay till LGA goes to 7th. If she did, LGA would have her for 4 yrs. It's good for LGA. Transition is hard. I may have mentioned that they (school district special ed program) were wanting to change boundaries and possibly move her. If they did that would have meant she would be attending the 5th school since we brought her home 5 yrs ago. Nope, I wouldn't have it and made a call. Our Program Specialist with the school district is retiring, so we have a new male PS. I haven't met him yet but the teacher wants to have an early IEP so we can all meet (there is a new male speech teacher as well) and go over her goals. Ms. M. thinks that LGA should skip speech as she has more of a learning disorder and we should concentrate on that. So we'll see how this all plays out. Already, we had a 3 hour blow out on Thursday of last week. It started when I let them play electronics (which will be on the weekday school ban starting today - weekday ban is in effect till Friday, then Friday and whenever we have down time on the weekend they can play. TV is also on this ban) and LGA wanted to play a game that BGA bought with allowance money. BGA said no. LGA blew up. It took 3 hours of off/on behavior and me sending her to her room to cool off and trying again, before I got it out of her that she was made at BGA. BGA and LGA now share a recess and LGA was mad because her friend, Mr. K., was not there and she wanted to play with BGA. BGA, being in 6th grade and trying out a new friend clique this year, did not want her sister playing with her and evidently didn't tell her in the nicest way. So......lots of talking with the two of them and explaning that BGA would not always play with LGA, etc. LGA has friends, both autistic. So they have issues, but Mrs. M. is wonderful about sorting out all the issues. So, the issues I was worried about, being in with the big kids, started quickly enough. The only thing I will need to go over again with Mrs. M. is this issue. She thinks LGA is ok, but based on her behavior last week, she isn't and Mrs. M. I hope can reassure her and guide her through the big grades.
BGA is doing ok. I think her teacher (based on what Mrs. M. told me) will be a better fit than last year's teacher (who had a lot of 'life' events happen last year). I'm already liking how she works her class and basically puts up with nothing. I think BGA will need to take her pm ADHD med in school though as she can't focus in the pm once her am med wears off and I really feel she needs this so she can be organized. She forgot her school supply list, leaving it under the metal tray instead of putting it in her folder in her backpack. So this year we will need to meet with the teacher again and go over how to help her get organized, etc. Last year's teacher just didn't care and told me, "yes, she has a hard time focusing in the pm, but I am able to get her back on track." That worked last year, but the teacher the year before said she needed her pm med as she was not focused. BGA had some bullying issues but has picked a different set of friends to play with, although she has the "she's my best friend and I want to take a dollar to school so I can buy her something" and it's only day 5 of school going on. But so far, the other girls are leaving her alone. She really wants her other friend back but is accepting that she will need to find another group of friends to hang out with. I hope she can find them, as the summer talks included the fact that she wants friends and cares about having them this year. There is a new principal and I like what he is doing so far.
And now on to the FASD part of the post. You may have watched Good Morning America, where the author, Emily Oster, advocates drinking into the third trimester. I firmly believe that no amount of alcohol ingested by a pregnant woman is safe. FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder) is 100% preventable. Living with an adopted daughter who has FASD, I wonder sometimes if her birthmother had not been drinking while pg, how different her life would be. I won't lecture on this subject, but do go to this site (NOFAS) and read the response this organization gave. This subject is all over the internet right now. Please post a comment if you are inclined. More and more children in the US and Europe are affected by FASD and it is one of the most misunderstood as well. Not much research is done on FASD, and it should be.
http://www.nofas.org/2013/08/16/emily_oster/
LGA has issues due to FASD, issues that are sometimes hard to live with. FASD is something people don't understand and there is always advice about what you should do and not a lot of support. I read on FB today about a parent who was at the end of her rope. She's been to therapists for her son (who is a teen I believe, the post was shared on another group, so I didn't see the original post), she's on meds, he's on meds, and life is just hard. The teen/adult behaviors are hard to deal with. LGA might be on the lower end of the spectrum, but she still faces learning issues and other delays that make me wonder what life will be like when she is a teen/adult. It didn't start out that way and the sweet 3 yr old we met was nothing like the 9 yr old she is now. When she is not having fits or tantrums, she is a very sweet girl. It's just rough going at times. I know this woman's despair, although I have not felt the depths of where she is, I have felt unsupported, misunderstood, and tired. I am going to try and see if there is a support group in our area, because as LGA ages, I think we are going to need it.
So, school year 2013-14 has started and let's hope it's a good one. Good luck to all who have started school this week. Hope it's a good year for all of us.
I am glad that school has started as I am ready for LGA to go back to school. Don't flame me for this, but she turned 9, and has been a bit hard to handle this summer at times. I need the break from her during the day and she needs the school structure. More on that in a bit.
LGA got the same teacher she had last year. They moved Ms. M. up to teaching the special ed day class grades 4-6. Since LGA is in modified grade 4, she got to keep her teacher. OH, she and I were both so happy. When I saw her teacher 3 days in, she said that she likes to keep 'her' kids for a couple of years. I want to ask her to please stay till LGA goes to 7th. If she did, LGA would have her for 4 yrs. It's good for LGA. Transition is hard. I may have mentioned that they (school district special ed program) were wanting to change boundaries and possibly move her. If they did that would have meant she would be attending the 5th school since we brought her home 5 yrs ago. Nope, I wouldn't have it and made a call. Our Program Specialist with the school district is retiring, so we have a new male PS. I haven't met him yet but the teacher wants to have an early IEP so we can all meet (there is a new male speech teacher as well) and go over her goals. Ms. M. thinks that LGA should skip speech as she has more of a learning disorder and we should concentrate on that. So we'll see how this all plays out. Already, we had a 3 hour blow out on Thursday of last week. It started when I let them play electronics (which will be on the weekday school ban starting today - weekday ban is in effect till Friday, then Friday and whenever we have down time on the weekend they can play. TV is also on this ban) and LGA wanted to play a game that BGA bought with allowance money. BGA said no. LGA blew up. It took 3 hours of off/on behavior and me sending her to her room to cool off and trying again, before I got it out of her that she was made at BGA. BGA and LGA now share a recess and LGA was mad because her friend, Mr. K., was not there and she wanted to play with BGA. BGA, being in 6th grade and trying out a new friend clique this year, did not want her sister playing with her and evidently didn't tell her in the nicest way. So......lots of talking with the two of them and explaning that BGA would not always play with LGA, etc. LGA has friends, both autistic. So they have issues, but Mrs. M. is wonderful about sorting out all the issues. So, the issues I was worried about, being in with the big kids, started quickly enough. The only thing I will need to go over again with Mrs. M. is this issue. She thinks LGA is ok, but based on her behavior last week, she isn't and Mrs. M. I hope can reassure her and guide her through the big grades.
BGA is doing ok. I think her teacher (based on what Mrs. M. told me) will be a better fit than last year's teacher (who had a lot of 'life' events happen last year). I'm already liking how she works her class and basically puts up with nothing. I think BGA will need to take her pm ADHD med in school though as she can't focus in the pm once her am med wears off and I really feel she needs this so she can be organized. She forgot her school supply list, leaving it under the metal tray instead of putting it in her folder in her backpack. So this year we will need to meet with the teacher again and go over how to help her get organized, etc. Last year's teacher just didn't care and told me, "yes, she has a hard time focusing in the pm, but I am able to get her back on track." That worked last year, but the teacher the year before said she needed her pm med as she was not focused. BGA had some bullying issues but has picked a different set of friends to play with, although she has the "she's my best friend and I want to take a dollar to school so I can buy her something" and it's only day 5 of school going on. But so far, the other girls are leaving her alone. She really wants her other friend back but is accepting that she will need to find another group of friends to hang out with. I hope she can find them, as the summer talks included the fact that she wants friends and cares about having them this year. There is a new principal and I like what he is doing so far.
And now on to the FASD part of the post. You may have watched Good Morning America, where the author, Emily Oster, advocates drinking into the third trimester. I firmly believe that no amount of alcohol ingested by a pregnant woman is safe. FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder) is 100% preventable. Living with an adopted daughter who has FASD, I wonder sometimes if her birthmother had not been drinking while pg, how different her life would be. I won't lecture on this subject, but do go to this site (NOFAS) and read the response this organization gave. This subject is all over the internet right now. Please post a comment if you are inclined. More and more children in the US and Europe are affected by FASD and it is one of the most misunderstood as well. Not much research is done on FASD, and it should be.
http://www.nofas.org/2013/08/16/emily_oster/
LGA has issues due to FASD, issues that are sometimes hard to live with. FASD is something people don't understand and there is always advice about what you should do and not a lot of support. I read on FB today about a parent who was at the end of her rope. She's been to therapists for her son (who is a teen I believe, the post was shared on another group, so I didn't see the original post), she's on meds, he's on meds, and life is just hard. The teen/adult behaviors are hard to deal with. LGA might be on the lower end of the spectrum, but she still faces learning issues and other delays that make me wonder what life will be like when she is a teen/adult. It didn't start out that way and the sweet 3 yr old we met was nothing like the 9 yr old she is now. When she is not having fits or tantrums, she is a very sweet girl. It's just rough going at times. I know this woman's despair, although I have not felt the depths of where she is, I have felt unsupported, misunderstood, and tired. I am going to try and see if there is a support group in our area, because as LGA ages, I think we are going to need it.
So, school year 2013-14 has started and let's hope it's a good one. Good luck to all who have started school this week. Hope it's a good year for all of us.
Monday, July 29, 2013
It Has Been Awhile........
Since I posted. I am sorry about that. Summer seems to have slipped by and the girls start school in 2 weeks. It seems like it was June and school was getting out.
Summer was slow around these parts. No real activities to speak of. LGA turned nine and we celebrated at her summer school class with cupcakes and at home with her fave dinner spaghetti and she wanted store bought cake this year. It's hard to believe she has turned 9. She's still more like 5 or 6 in maturity, but this transition was a hard one for her. She had a hard time in summer school (which was a month) and then transitioning from summer school. Her birthday coming and wondering what her school class will be like was hard for her. She will have a new teacher and will be in her special ed class with grades 4-6. She always does much better with the younger kids so I anticipate a harder adjustment for her.
There has been a lot of fighting going on this summer between the girls and once I had to break up an actual physical fight. They really do not get along very well, although I can see BGA trying, but LGA still does not have the maturity to try either. I have had to threaten to take away electronics and tv/pool time quite a few times.
We got one of those hard sided Intex pools and set it up in June. The thing had a leak evidently when we got it and water drained out - that was not fun. We did not get flooding in the yard luckily and there is a tarp under the pool so it mostly drained there. We also had a drain put in on our concrete slab that the pool sits on so water drained out. But we (I should say Dave) fixed the leak and now the pool is a great feature for us to utilize. The girls can stand in it (I am 4'11 and it comes up to my chest and I can stand in it to) and also swim under and around. We have some inner tubes and they get on those and float around. I have been towing them around too and doing some water exercises so it's been good for me too.
I had some time with BGA when LGA went to summer school (another issue for LGA jealousy of what she thought BGA was doing - none of which BGA was actually doing). We had some great talks and this time must have been needed because she kept telling me how much she loved me and how happy she was. We didn't do much, Dave and I took her to a movie together when he was off, we went to breakfast, shopping, breakfast with one of her former teachers, etc. It was very low key but relaxing and we didn't have to rush, etc. She has always liked Hannah Montana (why I don't know because Miley Cyrus has really taken a turn for the worse in my opinion) so we started watching the show on Netflix together. The minute she saw it was on Netflix she practically screamed at me to play it. So we started with season 1 (I think there were only 4 seasons) and are on season 3 now. BGA seems to like the earlier seasons much better. I don't know if she has memories of watching it somewhere else (she came home in season 2 I think) but she gravitates to the first 2 seasons and has sort of gotten bored in season 3. But we did have some great time together and it was fun to have one on one time with her.
Both girls are home now and it is ok, now that they have transitioned back to being together and LGA has some issues but mostly I have been able to see her triggers and stop them before the fit or tantrum starts. Not always, but most of the time. I have to say I am enjoying not having to be in a routine at all or be anywhere or go anywhere. I will miss that when school starts.
Dave and I have each spent time with friends (me with my adoptive moms) during this summer but not nearly as much as we should have. I have to admit I am looking forward to our Mondays together when the girls are in school.
I have been doing a lot of cooking and some baking this summer. I've been on a budget and so I have been trying to find meal rotations I can make. The temps have risen to the 100's on a couple of weeks so I have wanted to find recipes for the stove or even better the crock pot. I have tried out a few that have gone over well, so will be trying to organize my recipes into a binder so I can have the recipes we like at hand (instead of my current method of printing them and putting them on my book shelf where my cookbooks reside.
I also have been able to get my beading desk and station (still in our room as there is no other place I could have it) cleared and the beads put away. I had two rolling carts and when the new carpet was put in I had to shove things in them and in boxes. My beading desk (more like a computer desk) was storage to all the stuff that ended up in our room and I had been putting off getting it organized and doing some beading. This past weekend I got most of it sorted out, and did some beading (I really am out of practice and had to spend some time with my wire wrapped loops, etc.) but still need to find homes for stuff so items got piled on my bed to bead, then piled back on the beading desk when I was done. I got interrupted to fix dinner and by girls who are not used to mom being in the same room with them. The dogs all hung out with me too, guess they are used to mom being around and wanted to be with me, LOL. I hope to get back to beading this fall when the girls go back to school.
We have taken the girls to two movies this summer, making a day out for us all on Dave's day off. We saw Monsters University and Despicable Me 2. We liked both movies. I tried to take the girls to Regal's $1 movies but LGA was in summer school, BGA wanted to sleep in (and I let her, which is one of the reasons we really didn't do much. I felt she needed the sleep) and we couldn't make the 10:00am time. I might try to take them this week or next before school starts.
So there you have it, not very exciting summer, and not a lot to blog about, but since it's been almost 2 mos since I have blogged I thought I'd post an update.
Hope you are all enjoying your summer......I'm enjoying reading the blogs of those who are traveling and having exciting adventures. :-)
Summer was slow around these parts. No real activities to speak of. LGA turned nine and we celebrated at her summer school class with cupcakes and at home with her fave dinner spaghetti and she wanted store bought cake this year. It's hard to believe she has turned 9. She's still more like 5 or 6 in maturity, but this transition was a hard one for her. She had a hard time in summer school (which was a month) and then transitioning from summer school. Her birthday coming and wondering what her school class will be like was hard for her. She will have a new teacher and will be in her special ed class with grades 4-6. She always does much better with the younger kids so I anticipate a harder adjustment for her.
There has been a lot of fighting going on this summer between the girls and once I had to break up an actual physical fight. They really do not get along very well, although I can see BGA trying, but LGA still does not have the maturity to try either. I have had to threaten to take away electronics and tv/pool time quite a few times.
We got one of those hard sided Intex pools and set it up in June. The thing had a leak evidently when we got it and water drained out - that was not fun. We did not get flooding in the yard luckily and there is a tarp under the pool so it mostly drained there. We also had a drain put in on our concrete slab that the pool sits on so water drained out. But we (I should say Dave) fixed the leak and now the pool is a great feature for us to utilize. The girls can stand in it (I am 4'11 and it comes up to my chest and I can stand in it to) and also swim under and around. We have some inner tubes and they get on those and float around. I have been towing them around too and doing some water exercises so it's been good for me too.
I had some time with BGA when LGA went to summer school (another issue for LGA jealousy of what she thought BGA was doing - none of which BGA was actually doing). We had some great talks and this time must have been needed because she kept telling me how much she loved me and how happy she was. We didn't do much, Dave and I took her to a movie together when he was off, we went to breakfast, shopping, breakfast with one of her former teachers, etc. It was very low key but relaxing and we didn't have to rush, etc. She has always liked Hannah Montana (why I don't know because Miley Cyrus has really taken a turn for the worse in my opinion) so we started watching the show on Netflix together. The minute she saw it was on Netflix she practically screamed at me to play it. So we started with season 1 (I think there were only 4 seasons) and are on season 3 now. BGA seems to like the earlier seasons much better. I don't know if she has memories of watching it somewhere else (she came home in season 2 I think) but she gravitates to the first 2 seasons and has sort of gotten bored in season 3. But we did have some great time together and it was fun to have one on one time with her.
Both girls are home now and it is ok, now that they have transitioned back to being together and LGA has some issues but mostly I have been able to see her triggers and stop them before the fit or tantrum starts. Not always, but most of the time. I have to say I am enjoying not having to be in a routine at all or be anywhere or go anywhere. I will miss that when school starts.
Dave and I have each spent time with friends (me with my adoptive moms) during this summer but not nearly as much as we should have. I have to admit I am looking forward to our Mondays together when the girls are in school.
I have been doing a lot of cooking and some baking this summer. I've been on a budget and so I have been trying to find meal rotations I can make. The temps have risen to the 100's on a couple of weeks so I have wanted to find recipes for the stove or even better the crock pot. I have tried out a few that have gone over well, so will be trying to organize my recipes into a binder so I can have the recipes we like at hand (instead of my current method of printing them and putting them on my book shelf where my cookbooks reside.
I also have been able to get my beading desk and station (still in our room as there is no other place I could have it) cleared and the beads put away. I had two rolling carts and when the new carpet was put in I had to shove things in them and in boxes. My beading desk (more like a computer desk) was storage to all the stuff that ended up in our room and I had been putting off getting it organized and doing some beading. This past weekend I got most of it sorted out, and did some beading (I really am out of practice and had to spend some time with my wire wrapped loops, etc.) but still need to find homes for stuff so items got piled on my bed to bead, then piled back on the beading desk when I was done. I got interrupted to fix dinner and by girls who are not used to mom being in the same room with them. The dogs all hung out with me too, guess they are used to mom being around and wanted to be with me, LOL. I hope to get back to beading this fall when the girls go back to school.
We have taken the girls to two movies this summer, making a day out for us all on Dave's day off. We saw Monsters University and Despicable Me 2. We liked both movies. I tried to take the girls to Regal's $1 movies but LGA was in summer school, BGA wanted to sleep in (and I let her, which is one of the reasons we really didn't do much. I felt she needed the sleep) and we couldn't make the 10:00am time. I might try to take them this week or next before school starts.
So there you have it, not very exciting summer, and not a lot to blog about, but since it's been almost 2 mos since I have blogged I thought I'd post an update.
Hope you are all enjoying your summer......I'm enjoying reading the blogs of those who are traveling and having exciting adventures. :-)
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
My Husband Builds Stuff..........
So on to some more 'fluffier' stuff on this here blog..........
My husband has built us a patio table. Now if you have been reading the blog lately, you know that we had our patio and backyard done as well as the flooring (some of which insurance picked up, although I am frustrated that insurance did not pay one bill to the company that dried our house out, and I am still asking to get it paid - as the company needing to be paid has hounded me....but that's a whole other post.).
The backyard is narrow, you might have found a post on here where I showed how narrow it is. There is a huge retaining wall also. So, we have been limited in what we can do with it. We decided to cut our yard in half (there was also a saga about the sod we got that died,etc., that might have appeared here - I'd have to search it and I'm too lazy to do that right now)and put down a concrete 'pad' for an Intex pool to go on it. The girls love to swim in water, and we thought as temps have been rising here (expected to be 108 on Saturday, but it's not the norm for this type of year. We are just getting hotter weather earlier, which means it's going to be a hot summer) and we figured having a pool was a good option. We got one similiar (but with more depth) to this one, but not from this company, but I had researched it so still had the link (see I really am lazy this week, I think I'm in denial for school ending!).
http://www.kmart.com/summer-escapes-14-ft-x-42-in-metal/p-004W004409598001P?prdNo=7&blockNo=7&blockType=G7
If you are thinking of getting a pool like this, it's really worth it for some backyard fun. We had hoped to get a larger size than this, but we can't because we need acces to the side yard, and we had no more room. But this will be fun for the girls to play in and we can spend some time outside now that we have a patio table to do projects on.
Now I scoped out the neighbors' pool (just like I scoped out their patio cover and copied it, although it's sturdier than theirs is) and they have not quite upgraded to the pool we have, they have the one we had previously, which I believe is this one:
In looking at patio table sets, I found they were super expensive for what we wanted. We wanted a wooden set and a very sturdy set (Dave's 6'2 and a bit on the 'husky' side, so we wanted something to hold him). Most of the sets I saw were really flimsy (really? You want me to pay $400 for a set that the mesh could rip and be destroyed in seconds???). The wooden ones were higher, and we just couldn't see spending that kind of money when we wanted to do stuff on it, like paint outside,do crafts, etc. So Dave decided to build one.
We had left over wood from our patio cover and we had some wood cut. The table is very basic but it seats 6 and it will work for our needs. Dave still has to sand it down and we have to stain it (as well as the task of staining our patio cover). I like how it came out, and I think it will work for us. It's not super pretty (as I think some people were expecting. I sent it by phone to my friend who really didn't comment on it, other than saying, "well I'm glad you have a table, and you could get some chairs from the thrift store and maybe a chandelier.") but I like it and that's all that matters. The girls can do stuff on it and if they spill I won't care, because it can be sanded down and when they are older we can get a nicer set. So at the bottom I will share a little sneak peak of it with some new plants we bought to hang from the patio cover.
Dave's getting very Home Improvement as he was talking about making some sort of shelving unit from the left over wood. It's fun to see him doing some projects.
I need to find some chairs. I'd like to get basic ones that I can spray paint in some bright colors and then put some chair pads on (or not). Our little yard is shaping up.
An update on the chores: going well, the girls and I rocked the housework this weekend and I think they will get to go get something from the toy/game aisle when school lets out. They have done work for a solid month and have done a great job. I will say that there is a difference in how they do chores. LGA is VERY OCD, and she does a great job. The cat has taken over the computer chair and there was some hair on it. I gave her a hair pick up pet thingy and she went to town on the couches, chairs and computer chair. She finally decided to pick the hair off the chair by HAND when she found the pet tool wouldn't work. Then she took cushions off the chairs and couches and I had to vacuum inside them (so now my couches are nice and clean under the cushions). She then went to swiffer the family room, living room and hallway, that have the laminate and she covered every inch. What she couldn't get she used the broom and a dustpan to pick up. She dusted and cleaned the clutter in her room as well. What a good helper.
Now BGA on the other hand, tends to have a more 'stuff thrown on the floor' look to her room and while it's not a sty, and it is fairly neat (due to asking both girls to clean rooms at least once a week/two weeks) just things end up on the floor (and the dogs chew them) and she has a habit of leaving stuff (like video games) in the chair/couch cushions and a game has been chewed by the dogs. We finally took a game from her that we found in the chair cushions and hid it. She frantically searched for it on Saturday, and I could see how she didn't want to say it was lost, LGA picked up on it and began in her loud voice to draw attention to it. I made out that I had no clue where it was and she finally asked Dave and admitted (huge jump for her) to him that she lost it. But her ADHD is full blown at times and she exhibits all the tendencies to forget stuff, lose focus, etc. So when she cleans she does a good job, but not the detailed job that LGA does. I know that's part of ADHD so I don't make a big deal unless I can see she really didn't take the time to do it and then I make her re-do something (and she sighs but does it......we are full throttle in the eye roll, muttering under our breath, sighing, etc.) a 2nd time. She does a very good job, oddly enough, on the dishes. She really takes time to wash them and now that she knows how I want her to clean the bathroom, she does a great job on that too. But I realized I had shown her basics of cleaning the bathroom but then things would be skipped so I outlined each part of the bathroom in stages (finish one, then she'd come back to me and I'd explain another part) and she got it that way. I guess because BGA doesn't exhibit too many ADHD traits all the time I get lulled into thinking she can do things and then I realize I need to tailor my explanations to "ADHD" type of explanations.
The girls did a great job on the house though and all 3 of us rocked the house work on Sunday (while Dave built our table). It was great to have their help, I was so glad we could do it together and I remember the days of doing it all by myself and am glad they are at a stage to help me (especially since I hate housework and they don't seem to mind it, LOL).
Here's the pic of our table......rustic, but homemade and fun, just what we needed. Now what type of chairs to get??? And I guess the girls and I will be doing some thrifting after school gets out. Also Dave picked out the flowers and we have a red rose bush in the corner of our lawn, so we have yellow, red and white colors. At first I wanted to go bright colors for the chairs, yard, but we really liked these plants, so now I'm thinking maybe spray paint chairs yellow and red? Thoughts, anyone?
Happy Weekend, everyone stay cool (our temps are supposed to be in the 100's, up to 108!!!).
My husband has built us a patio table. Now if you have been reading the blog lately, you know that we had our patio and backyard done as well as the flooring (some of which insurance picked up, although I am frustrated that insurance did not pay one bill to the company that dried our house out, and I am still asking to get it paid - as the company needing to be paid has hounded me....but that's a whole other post.).
The backyard is narrow, you might have found a post on here where I showed how narrow it is. There is a huge retaining wall also. So, we have been limited in what we can do with it. We decided to cut our yard in half (there was also a saga about the sod we got that died,etc., that might have appeared here - I'd have to search it and I'm too lazy to do that right now)and put down a concrete 'pad' for an Intex pool to go on it. The girls love to swim in water, and we thought as temps have been rising here (expected to be 108 on Saturday, but it's not the norm for this type of year. We are just getting hotter weather earlier, which means it's going to be a hot summer) and we figured having a pool was a good option. We got one similiar (but with more depth) to this one, but not from this company, but I had researched it so still had the link (see I really am lazy this week, I think I'm in denial for school ending!).
http://www.kmart.com/summer-escapes-14-ft-x-42-in-metal/p-004W004409598001P?prdNo=7&blockNo=7&blockType=G7
If you are thinking of getting a pool like this, it's really worth it for some backyard fun. We had hoped to get a larger size than this, but we can't because we need acces to the side yard, and we had no more room. But this will be fun for the girls to play in and we can spend some time outside now that we have a patio table to do projects on.
Now I scoped out the neighbors' pool (just like I scoped out their patio cover and copied it, although it's sturdier than theirs is) and they have not quite upgraded to the pool we have, they have the one we had previously, which I believe is this one:
In looking at patio table sets, I found they were super expensive for what we wanted. We wanted a wooden set and a very sturdy set (Dave's 6'2 and a bit on the 'husky' side, so we wanted something to hold him). Most of the sets I saw were really flimsy (really? You want me to pay $400 for a set that the mesh could rip and be destroyed in seconds???). The wooden ones were higher, and we just couldn't see spending that kind of money when we wanted to do stuff on it, like paint outside,do crafts, etc. So Dave decided to build one.
We had left over wood from our patio cover and we had some wood cut. The table is very basic but it seats 6 and it will work for our needs. Dave still has to sand it down and we have to stain it (as well as the task of staining our patio cover). I like how it came out, and I think it will work for us. It's not super pretty (as I think some people were expecting. I sent it by phone to my friend who really didn't comment on it, other than saying, "well I'm glad you have a table, and you could get some chairs from the thrift store and maybe a chandelier.") but I like it and that's all that matters. The girls can do stuff on it and if they spill I won't care, because it can be sanded down and when they are older we can get a nicer set. So at the bottom I will share a little sneak peak of it with some new plants we bought to hang from the patio cover.
Dave's getting very Home Improvement as he was talking about making some sort of shelving unit from the left over wood. It's fun to see him doing some projects.
I need to find some chairs. I'd like to get basic ones that I can spray paint in some bright colors and then put some chair pads on (or not). Our little yard is shaping up.
An update on the chores: going well, the girls and I rocked the housework this weekend and I think they will get to go get something from the toy/game aisle when school lets out. They have done work for a solid month and have done a great job. I will say that there is a difference in how they do chores. LGA is VERY OCD, and she does a great job. The cat has taken over the computer chair and there was some hair on it. I gave her a hair pick up pet thingy and she went to town on the couches, chairs and computer chair. She finally decided to pick the hair off the chair by HAND when she found the pet tool wouldn't work. Then she took cushions off the chairs and couches and I had to vacuum inside them (so now my couches are nice and clean under the cushions). She then went to swiffer the family room, living room and hallway, that have the laminate and she covered every inch. What she couldn't get she used the broom and a dustpan to pick up. She dusted and cleaned the clutter in her room as well. What a good helper.
Now BGA on the other hand, tends to have a more 'stuff thrown on the floor' look to her room and while it's not a sty, and it is fairly neat (due to asking both girls to clean rooms at least once a week/two weeks) just things end up on the floor (and the dogs chew them) and she has a habit of leaving stuff (like video games) in the chair/couch cushions and a game has been chewed by the dogs. We finally took a game from her that we found in the chair cushions and hid it. She frantically searched for it on Saturday, and I could see how she didn't want to say it was lost, LGA picked up on it and began in her loud voice to draw attention to it. I made out that I had no clue where it was and she finally asked Dave and admitted (huge jump for her) to him that she lost it. But her ADHD is full blown at times and she exhibits all the tendencies to forget stuff, lose focus, etc. So when she cleans she does a good job, but not the detailed job that LGA does. I know that's part of ADHD so I don't make a big deal unless I can see she really didn't take the time to do it and then I make her re-do something (and she sighs but does it......we are full throttle in the eye roll, muttering under our breath, sighing, etc.) a 2nd time. She does a very good job, oddly enough, on the dishes. She really takes time to wash them and now that she knows how I want her to clean the bathroom, she does a great job on that too. But I realized I had shown her basics of cleaning the bathroom but then things would be skipped so I outlined each part of the bathroom in stages (finish one, then she'd come back to me and I'd explain another part) and she got it that way. I guess because BGA doesn't exhibit too many ADHD traits all the time I get lulled into thinking she can do things and then I realize I need to tailor my explanations to "ADHD" type of explanations.
The girls did a great job on the house though and all 3 of us rocked the house work on Sunday (while Dave built our table). It was great to have their help, I was so glad we could do it together and I remember the days of doing it all by myself and am glad they are at a stage to help me (especially since I hate housework and they don't seem to mind it, LOL).
Here's the pic of our table......rustic, but homemade and fun, just what we needed. Now what type of chairs to get??? And I guess the girls and I will be doing some thrifting after school gets out. Also Dave picked out the flowers and we have a red rose bush in the corner of our lawn, so we have yellow, red and white colors. At first I wanted to go bright colors for the chairs, yard, but we really liked these plants, so now I'm thinking maybe spray paint chairs yellow and red? Thoughts, anyone?
Happy Weekend, everyone stay cool (our temps are supposed to be in the 100's, up to 108!!!).
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Talent Show Pic
I will say that she's growing, but still very petite. Her hair is pulled back because she was doing a cheer during the Talent Show as well and now she's into pulling her hair back. This is the same dress she wore for the Talent Show at the old school 2 years ago (she still fits in it).
Notice the cat and dog toys by the fireplace and the laminate flooring. We really need to paint our living room, too. But that's not gonna happen anytime soon.
I will take pic down soon, so look fast.
And yes, that's a zit on her chin, which she totally picked. Ugh.
There's A Lot of Change in the Air.........
First one is another passing. A sad passing for Dave and I.
Dave's best friend's mom, R, passed away today. I don't know if it was sudden or the details, just that 5 of her organs failed and she was taken off life support this afternoon. R was a wonderful woman, a real mom, in the sense of the word. Her husband was a teacher (as is Dave's best friend) and R supported him in every way, even when in his later years he had a stroke and she accompanied him to the classroom. R had recently become a grandma over the last few years and I think she was a great grandma as well.
When I first met R, I was dating Dave. He introduced her to me at a festival, and then I believe I met her again at the wedding. She was so much fun. We then had a joint birthday party for Dave and her youngest son at our house, they came to Thanksgiving one year, and we met at various parties, get togethers, etc. R was very inspiring to me during our fertility years. She never once lost hope that we would be parents. Unfortunately we sort of lost touch with her when we started the adoption process as Dave wanted to ask her for a reference, but instead of talking to her personally he sort of brushed it off and left a voice mail. Her son, Dave's best friend and his wife offered to sit down and write it but they say she didn't want to. Well, it was sort of not the same since, although we did sit with her at her youngest son's wedding reception, 7 mos after the girls came home. But things just weren't the same when she met them, and we just never really connected again. I know this made Dave sad, and it made me sad. But we still cared for her very much. Dave had more time knowing her as he spent a lot of time at the B home, almost like as one of the son's friends called himself, a '2nd' son to them. Dave's at work so I haven't really talked to him about it, and we just found out last night she was in the hospital, so it was sudden, I think. Hopefully we'll find out more info later.
It seems that all the women who were inspiring to me have passed away within a year of each other. The first two, my mom and my cousin from England (who was like a 2nd mom to me) 4 mos of each other and now R, who I had always thought of like a mom, a year later. But you know, it is the passing of life, and we know that is how life works. It's just hard when it's someone you care about and you know your friends have to mourn the loss that you have already been through. But we'll be there for them, if they need us.
Also sad to hear that one of our adoptive moms who passed away in 2009, her cat, who went to one of the other adoptive moms, also passed away from cancer. It's so sad as it was a link to the mom who passed away and the adoptive mom who cared for the cat, feels like a double loss. The girls were sad as we lost our Lucy cat to the same kind of cancer in 2010. Huge loss for us all, so we know all about cat cancer and loss. We send hugs out to the families who loved this cat.
The girls finish up school this week. LGA got the teacher's reading award as Most Improved, so I was very happy for her. Her teacher says she will really miss her. She will miss her teacher for sure. There are also grumblings of moving the kids around again (this happened last year and we are in school #3 for her) so I had to call yesterday and talk to the Program Specialist who said they would make her an exception and we'd find out in July if she was being moved or not (so I guess we requested the exception). The Specialst also made mention that there might be Special Ed Learning Centers and they would do away with Special Ed Day Classes and the kids would all be mainstreamed. I cannot tell you how against this I am. I'm still pretty peeved about it and so I'll save it for another post. I just don't have it in me to write it all out. BGA has some bullying going on too, and I'm beyond mad about that so I have left voicemail for the principal and will update if we have a meeting this week. I know it's the last 3 days of school but I want this handled. So, a few unexpected finishes for the school year.
LGA got invited to one of her autistic school mate's birthday party. It was very interesting as the school is still (so was the last school the girls went to- well 2 for LGA) in a bit of a lower income housing area, so even though the school is a magnet school, it's still in a lower income area. So the duplex we pulled up to was not what I expected (there are houses in the area). I was sort of nervous to leave LGA, because I have never met the mom, but she reassured me LGA would be fine. Another classmate (also autistic I think) showed up, so there were 3 girls from the class, the birthday girl's siblings and kids in the neighborhood. LGA is in the lying part of FASD (they are consistent in lying) so she has been in a 'way' out there lying phase. She told us the mother took her to the nearby park (which was not cleared by me) so I'm not sure that is true. The birthday girl had a meltdown so when we picked LGA up 2 hours later, they hadn't cut the cake. Darn! Last bday party BGA went to they sent us home with cake. But the mom said, "well you know she's autistic and she's up/down a lot" and then asked the dad who said she wouldn't come out of the bedroom, so the mom asked me if we wanted food. I didn't want to say no, because you could tell they had a lot and a lot of it was home made. I think it was Philipino food but it was very good (I had it the next two days, yummmy!). LGA was sucking on a hard candy (can you say 2 hours past bed time she crashed?? ) and running around outside when we got there. The mom sent LGA home with some ice cream in a cup, and told me that LGA was a good girl (so glad to hear that as the teacher thought I should stay with her but Dave said he thought she'd be ok and she was). She had a blast. LGA was very hyper for a week and a half, from what the teacher and I could see. We finally figured out she was not taking her pm med at school. Well Dave and I figured it out. The teacher maintains that she goes and takes it after recess because the teacher 'reminds' her (ie, Dave thinks she's wandering around and I think he's right). Teacher said that she could by hyped up by the upcoming carnival (yesterday) and the party (Thursday). So when we made sure she got her med on Thursday she was NOT hyped up before the party and was not hyper yesterday when she got home, either.
I think it's a matter of needing someone to go with her to get her med as she never can remember on her own. Even though the teacher has taught Special Ed for 20+years, the teachers still don't know much about FASD and brain injury and that kids with ADHD, and FASD, cannot remember to take meds unless they are reminded. The teachers I have come across, half of them forget to remind the girls to take meds. BGA refuses to take hers at school, and so she can't focus the last half of the day, even though her teacher this year insisted that she doesn't need it, "if I just mention to her, to focus, I can get her back on track." Last year's teacher who taught math at the end of the day, insisted she needed meds to focus in the pm. So, not sure how we will handle that one next year. But when I sent a note back (after talking to LGA's teacher on Thursday) on Friday, I got no response, when I said it might be that she needs help going to get her pill and obviously she was not taking it as Thursday when she should have been climbing the walls from excitement for the party she was calm (until she got sugar AT the party and was up 2 hours past bedtime).
I finally thought we were at a school the girls could stay at and do well in. They both had great years, but now BGA has a friend/bullying issue and wants to leave and LGA could be transferred. So I'm kinda bummed. I guess we'll see how it all ends, but what a way to end the year.
And to close this, there is a blog out there that a mother wrote for the end of the school year. I will link to it and you should read it........I bet you'd agree with it. I know I do. Read this blog:
http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2013/05/30/worst-end-of-school-year-mom-ever#.UagCc3I1lco.facebook
Hope you are all faring well with the end of the school year. I was a bit overwhelmed on Friday, but hoping all the ducks are in a row for end of school. I will write more about BGA's bullying once we have contact with the principal and teacher.
Oh and I will finish with a pic of BGA ready for the talent show. She wore socks with her shoes because it was cold in the am. I told her to take them off when it got hot or she went on stage, but she kept them on and got teased about it. A girl came up and said, "BGA, that dress is pretty but your shoes would look better without the socks. Just a suggestion." SO who got blamed for that one? ME! Even though I told her to take the socks off when it warmed up. Oh, the hormones are starting. Like how I got blamed for that one........"Mom your outfit was a bust. Well, the dress wasn't but the socks you told me to wear were." Hahahahaha. Oh boy. I'm in for it soon. 12 will be here before we know it.
Enoy your weekend folks. Close to 100 here already.......yuck.
Dave's best friend's mom, R, passed away today. I don't know if it was sudden or the details, just that 5 of her organs failed and she was taken off life support this afternoon. R was a wonderful woman, a real mom, in the sense of the word. Her husband was a teacher (as is Dave's best friend) and R supported him in every way, even when in his later years he had a stroke and she accompanied him to the classroom. R had recently become a grandma over the last few years and I think she was a great grandma as well.
When I first met R, I was dating Dave. He introduced her to me at a festival, and then I believe I met her again at the wedding. She was so much fun. We then had a joint birthday party for Dave and her youngest son at our house, they came to Thanksgiving one year, and we met at various parties, get togethers, etc. R was very inspiring to me during our fertility years. She never once lost hope that we would be parents. Unfortunately we sort of lost touch with her when we started the adoption process as Dave wanted to ask her for a reference, but instead of talking to her personally he sort of brushed it off and left a voice mail. Her son, Dave's best friend and his wife offered to sit down and write it but they say she didn't want to. Well, it was sort of not the same since, although we did sit with her at her youngest son's wedding reception, 7 mos after the girls came home. But things just weren't the same when she met them, and we just never really connected again. I know this made Dave sad, and it made me sad. But we still cared for her very much. Dave had more time knowing her as he spent a lot of time at the B home, almost like as one of the son's friends called himself, a '2nd' son to them. Dave's at work so I haven't really talked to him about it, and we just found out last night she was in the hospital, so it was sudden, I think. Hopefully we'll find out more info later.
It seems that all the women who were inspiring to me have passed away within a year of each other. The first two, my mom and my cousin from England (who was like a 2nd mom to me) 4 mos of each other and now R, who I had always thought of like a mom, a year later. But you know, it is the passing of life, and we know that is how life works. It's just hard when it's someone you care about and you know your friends have to mourn the loss that you have already been through. But we'll be there for them, if they need us.
Also sad to hear that one of our adoptive moms who passed away in 2009, her cat, who went to one of the other adoptive moms, also passed away from cancer. It's so sad as it was a link to the mom who passed away and the adoptive mom who cared for the cat, feels like a double loss. The girls were sad as we lost our Lucy cat to the same kind of cancer in 2010. Huge loss for us all, so we know all about cat cancer and loss. We send hugs out to the families who loved this cat.
The girls finish up school this week. LGA got the teacher's reading award as Most Improved, so I was very happy for her. Her teacher says she will really miss her. She will miss her teacher for sure. There are also grumblings of moving the kids around again (this happened last year and we are in school #3 for her) so I had to call yesterday and talk to the Program Specialist who said they would make her an exception and we'd find out in July if she was being moved or not (so I guess we requested the exception). The Specialst also made mention that there might be Special Ed Learning Centers and they would do away with Special Ed Day Classes and the kids would all be mainstreamed. I cannot tell you how against this I am. I'm still pretty peeved about it and so I'll save it for another post. I just don't have it in me to write it all out. BGA has some bullying going on too, and I'm beyond mad about that so I have left voicemail for the principal and will update if we have a meeting this week. I know it's the last 3 days of school but I want this handled. So, a few unexpected finishes for the school year.
LGA got invited to one of her autistic school mate's birthday party. It was very interesting as the school is still (so was the last school the girls went to- well 2 for LGA) in a bit of a lower income housing area, so even though the school is a magnet school, it's still in a lower income area. So the duplex we pulled up to was not what I expected (there are houses in the area). I was sort of nervous to leave LGA, because I have never met the mom, but she reassured me LGA would be fine. Another classmate (also autistic I think) showed up, so there were 3 girls from the class, the birthday girl's siblings and kids in the neighborhood. LGA is in the lying part of FASD (they are consistent in lying) so she has been in a 'way' out there lying phase. She told us the mother took her to the nearby park (which was not cleared by me) so I'm not sure that is true. The birthday girl had a meltdown so when we picked LGA up 2 hours later, they hadn't cut the cake. Darn! Last bday party BGA went to they sent us home with cake. But the mom said, "well you know she's autistic and she's up/down a lot" and then asked the dad who said she wouldn't come out of the bedroom, so the mom asked me if we wanted food. I didn't want to say no, because you could tell they had a lot and a lot of it was home made. I think it was Philipino food but it was very good (I had it the next two days, yummmy!). LGA was sucking on a hard candy (can you say 2 hours past bed time she crashed?? ) and running around outside when we got there. The mom sent LGA home with some ice cream in a cup, and told me that LGA was a good girl (so glad to hear that as the teacher thought I should stay with her but Dave said he thought she'd be ok and she was). She had a blast. LGA was very hyper for a week and a half, from what the teacher and I could see. We finally figured out she was not taking her pm med at school. Well Dave and I figured it out. The teacher maintains that she goes and takes it after recess because the teacher 'reminds' her (ie, Dave thinks she's wandering around and I think he's right). Teacher said that she could by hyped up by the upcoming carnival (yesterday) and the party (Thursday). So when we made sure she got her med on Thursday she was NOT hyped up before the party and was not hyper yesterday when she got home, either.
I think it's a matter of needing someone to go with her to get her med as she never can remember on her own. Even though the teacher has taught Special Ed for 20+years, the teachers still don't know much about FASD and brain injury and that kids with ADHD, and FASD, cannot remember to take meds unless they are reminded. The teachers I have come across, half of them forget to remind the girls to take meds. BGA refuses to take hers at school, and so she can't focus the last half of the day, even though her teacher this year insisted that she doesn't need it, "if I just mention to her, to focus, I can get her back on track." Last year's teacher who taught math at the end of the day, insisted she needed meds to focus in the pm. So, not sure how we will handle that one next year. But when I sent a note back (after talking to LGA's teacher on Thursday) on Friday, I got no response, when I said it might be that she needs help going to get her pill and obviously she was not taking it as Thursday when she should have been climbing the walls from excitement for the party she was calm (until she got sugar AT the party and was up 2 hours past bedtime).
I finally thought we were at a school the girls could stay at and do well in. They both had great years, but now BGA has a friend/bullying issue and wants to leave and LGA could be transferred. So I'm kinda bummed. I guess we'll see how it all ends, but what a way to end the year.
And to close this, there is a blog out there that a mother wrote for the end of the school year. I will link to it and you should read it........I bet you'd agree with it. I know I do. Read this blog:
http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2013/05/30/worst-end-of-school-year-mom-ever#.UagCc3I1lco.facebook
Hope you are all faring well with the end of the school year. I was a bit overwhelmed on Friday, but hoping all the ducks are in a row for end of school. I will write more about BGA's bullying once we have contact with the principal and teacher.
Oh and I will finish with a pic of BGA ready for the talent show. She wore socks with her shoes because it was cold in the am. I told her to take them off when it got hot or she went on stage, but she kept them on and got teased about it. A girl came up and said, "BGA, that dress is pretty but your shoes would look better without the socks. Just a suggestion." SO who got blamed for that one? ME! Even though I told her to take the socks off when it warmed up. Oh, the hormones are starting. Like how I got blamed for that one........"Mom your outfit was a bust. Well, the dress wasn't but the socks you told me to wear were." Hahahahaha. Oh boy. I'm in for it soon. 12 will be here before we know it.
Enoy your weekend folks. Close to 100 here already.......yuck.
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