Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Labor day weekend........with travel..........

This past Labor Day weekend the fam trucked (literally, van and truck) down to S CA to finish clearing out my mother's place for the last time.  It was bittersweet.  We left Thurs night and came home on Monday pm.  Dave took Tues off (yes!) and it was nice to have him home.

There wasn't as much stuff to clear out this time, although we had our share of trash to the open dumpster on Sat.  I had hoped we could take a trip to Sea World or the Wild Animal Park but we just couldn't fit it in. However we got some pool time in.  Till a kid pooped in the pool and the whole pool had to be cleared out.  On a day that my high school friends and their kids came for a bbq.  Oh what fun that was.  However, the girls stayed in the sauna and slept really well that night.  :-)

The drive down on Thursday night was interesting.  For some reason it took my spaced out mind a bit to realize if I had the girls turn off their movie, they would sleep. I didn't do that till LA, when it was two hours from San Diego county.  SO............they did not get to sleep till 3am!  They slept till 9 when we had to wake them up.  It was a hard drive at night and I can say that I officially do not like driving at night anymore.  There was construction at night the whole way down.  Not as much traffic as people had not officially started their Labor Day weekend. 

I was disappointed as I had paid the realtor to have someone clean mom's house.  Well, I can see I overpaid.  The walls of her mobile home (which is the old fashioned paneling) were dusty.  Mom lived in a condo previously to buying this mobile home (to be near her sister and her sister's husband when mom retired).  It's a nice double wide and has everything original.  Mom made no improvements other than to put in carpet when she bought it, so the original carpet is there.  Full of dust, and poor LGA got sick. I fully believe she's allergic to dust.  I know I am.    Poor Dave had a hard time sleeping as we all tried to find comfortable places to sleep (sleeping bags for the girls, air mattresses and a full size bed).

We got the place spiffed up enough to sleep there and then spent Friday running some errands and getting the girls a portable DVD player they could watch movies on as the only tv left was not an analog one and I had cut cable in August.  We spent the pm in the pool then headed to a local bbq place that had lines out the door the whole time we were there.  We took full opportunity, the girls and I, to share the places we ate on our previous trip, with Dave.  Saturday we packed and put stuff in the trash.  Sunday was intended to be a pool/bbq time with my friends but poor Dave got sick with a stomach type of bug so he stayed home and 3 of my high school friends and I and their kids, all girls, hung out at the pool.  It was nice and easy to see them again and we picked up right where we left off. It was a nice easy day that I really needed. 

Monday was the hardest day.  Dave and I woke up at like 4am, as we were just ready to go home.  My cousin and his friend helped Dave and they loaded up the furniture.  I felt like one of the people you see on tv or in a movie, where they are leaving a house for the last time and they go through the house room to room (mine was also to make sure I got everything as I constantly felt stuff was out of order and that I didn't know where it all was).  I stood in the living room and said a silent goodbye and talked to my mother and brother and said, "remember the happy times we had here."   Goodbye house that I only lived in 3 years, but always came home to.  A set of grandparents bought it for their 20 yr old grandson. I have no clue what their plans are for it, but I know that it's really more 'old person' style than a 20 yr old would want.  However, the woman in the complex office told me that he had been living with his grandparents so maybe this is his shot at freedom.  The neighbors across the street were not happy with me and hoped he was not a 'partyer.'  Dave said, "Maybe he's a geek and he's lived with his grandparents and now has his own place and he'll be quiet."  Sure hope so.  So we drove away and I cried and when we got on the grapevine (the long stretch of moutainous highway that connects S CA to N CA) LGA said, "You miss grandma a lot, huh Mommy?"  Yes, kid, a whole lot.  The ache is less and I don't cry as much.  But leaving and knowing I will never come back to that place as home, was really hard.  I didn't think it would sell as fast as it did and was planning on staying in it when I came back for my high school reunion on my own next month.

So a part of my chapter with my mom and brother is over.  I feel mixed feelings about it.  But it is what it is so I'm moving on.

Luckily school with the girls has occupied some space in my head.  I am feeling positive we made the right move for BGA.

She came out on Thurs when I picked her up, really excited (as she seems to each day).  She can join cheer or choir (old school does NOT have that).  She can join student council (old school doesn't have it) or play an instrument.  She's learning the school song and she gets to read the school announcement over the loud speaker.  She's learning the school song.  She has a friend from the old school.  I gave the friend a ride home today as she lives near the school.  It was so cute to see the girls walking out together today.  The girl named A, told BGA that she could have gotten a ride from her other friend but she chose BGA instead.  The girls have known each other since first grade.  I told the girl I am more than happy to give her a ride home.

LGA seems to be settling in better this week, and not as angry.  So I hope that is a good sign too.  

We had a pretty good time as a family for the weekend, and the girls always want us to be together as a family so they behaved better, they were more secure knowing that both of us were there with them, but as always, they were glad to come home.  It never changes wherever we go, they always want to come home.

So, on to the next chapter in my life.  I'm working on the list of stuff I wanted to do and hoping some of it comes to be.  For now, I'm going to kick back a bit and not push myself yet.  The summer was hard and now I just want to go with the school year and routine, await autumn (my fave time of the year) and the holidays. I'm ready for comfy sweaters, boots and jeans, and some jewelry creating.  I'm ready for crock pot dinners and hot cocoa.  Pj days.  And possibly a new puppy/rescue dog to train as a therapy dog. 

I am not as sad as I was, losing my mother.  I remember things I had forgotten, certain memories, and am ready to move forward. I know there will be good and bad days, but I will continue to move forward. 

So on to Back to School night next week, Spirit Week and possibly I will volunteer for the PTA at this school.  We'll see............I'm still scoping out the parents to see if I will fit in (or want to).


  1. Awwww Molly, it's so sad about leaving your Mom's place. Your girls are very empathetic to you though and that is so sweet.
    hugs to you sweetheart.

  2. Thanks. :-) I'm doing much better now that everything is settled.