I wasn't going to do a post of products I love, but there are a few things lately that I have received that I like and wanted to highlight them for you.
But first off, I have to give a shout out to my husband (he very rarely reads this blog) because he's receieved a promotion at work and is now a manager in charge of the office staff. He's been at his company almost 10 yrs (even his boss didn't believe it - but his boss is not the one who hired him, this boss came after my husband was hired, so he would have no clue when my husband started with the company). He has worked at every position in the office and now it's his turn to become a manager. I know he's ready for this job. I'm happy as he can set his own hours (no extra pay though or overtime anymore) so he can come to school functions, he and I can take an hour to meet for lunch, and he can come home earlier if his work is done. He will still work a day on the weekend, but I enjoy having him off on the weekday he's off, so that won't be a change. I'm really proud of him. :-) So far 2013 is starting off nicely, let's hope it continues...........after last year, we could really use a good year.
Now, you frequently if you read blogs with any regularity, know that some of the blogs out there do a What I Wore Wednesday (I wish I could participate in this but you know, I have a mom wardrobe and while I could dress up, I really just don't want to and I have accepted that- however, I do like to look at the outfits people link to, it's kind of like a What Not To Wear - or wear as the case may be) an Instagram Friday (this one I could do but I have not found any inspiring pictures to take nor would my house be one I'd like people to see, it's small and 4 people and 5 pets have outgrown it, and I haven't been anywhere this year that would inspire me to take pics. But I'd like to try this one), sponsored products (no one ever sends me anything because I am not ad sponsored) and to take a picture that inspires me from the week. I like to see what other people have posted, although I have to admit I don't link up at all because I don't feel as inspired as these bloggers do. So I read and I enjoy reading the posts.
However, I do have a few items I have been enjoying this winter, both products, tv, and clothing. So I am gonna do a link to some of my winter favorites (just because it's a bit of fun and sometimes this blog can lean towards two very special girls and it's time for a bit of some fun stuff).
I have picked up reading in the last month and I am enjoying it. I used to be a reader who could only read in extreme quiet (because when I was single and living on my own, that is what my atmosphere - except for my cats' meowing - was) but I am learning to read while noise is going on in the background (although I do not care for it but I am trying to accept it because that is what my household is like). So on to favorite number 1.
1. Downton Abbey. I am addicted, yes, I am. I can't help it. My friend came to visit last year, at New Years and got me started on Downton. She and I started watching it but the kids were around (PBS was having it's marathon lead up to season 2) so I decided to DVR the rest and the start of season 2. When my friend left, I stayed up one night to watch all of season 1 in anticipation of the start of season 2. Now they are on to season 3 and I'm still hooked.
So this past Sunday PBS did a special on Highclere castle, where they film Downton Abbey. I watched and became fascinated with the estate and the Earl and Countess. So I ordered this book, based on one of the Countesses of Highclere:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0770435629/ref=oh_details_o00_s00_i00
I also ordered this book as I am now fascinated by the American heiresses who came over in the early 1900's to marry the British Lords and supplied the much needed cash (dowery) to get the estates back on track (ie Downton Abbey style):
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0761171959/ref=oh_details_o00_s00_i01
I have also read the books of this author, who was an actual parlor maid:
http://www.amazon.com/Below-Stairs-Inspired-Upstairs-Downstairs/dp/1250005442/ref=pd_sim_b_1
This maid definitely has the salty British humor going.
2. Clemmentines - the orange. I have really gotten into this sweet little citrus fruit. My mom was eating them towards the end of her life and I have not really been an orange person but LGA likes oranges, and I always buy the small ones for the girls. I started eating one at a meal one day and was hooked. I can't find them in the stores anymore so I think they are only in season a short while (I could look this up to add more 'facts' to this post, but I am too lazy to do that right now).
3. Hot tea. British black tea to be more specific. We have a Keurig coffee maker, and I have been brewing a cup of tea in the afternoon with my lunch. It reminds me of being back in England with my cousins and having an afternoon cup of tea. I even bought an English cucumber at the grocery store last night so I do see cucumber sandwiches in my future........yum. And yes, I have been to the Ritz for high tea. Loved it.
Do you see a British theme going on???? Hm....when did that start??
Now I am going to switch to a lotion that I have been really loving. My skin since my 2004 hysterectomy operation, has been dry in the winter and sometimes the summer months. I discovered this brand when my cousin gave me a hand creme she didn't like the smell of. I was hooked and had to have some. This product is the best lotion I have found for dry skin:
http://usa.loccitane.com/natural-beauty-products-skincare-l'occitane-en-provence-usa,82,1,28281,333753.htm?cm_mmc=Email+Newsletter-_-Week+3+Friday+Honey+Best-_-Promotional-_-Logo&utm_medium=Email+Newsletter&utm_source=Week+3+Friday+Honey+Best&utm_content=Promotional&utm_campaign=Logo
I have a problem with wool sweaters and found that some of my sweaters were a bit heavy and a lot of wool/angora, which if it's around my neck, can make me itch. So I found these sweaters at Old Navy that I can wear a tank or tshirt under and I like them:
http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=73824&vid=1&pid=262425082
I have worn them all winter long, and I really like them. I have found Old Navy's clothing does not always hold up so I have been trying to wash them and hang them to dry to extend their life. Of course, I have loved Old Navy's fleece half zip pullovers, fleece hoodies, and fleece pullovers for years and have worn them (along with their yoga pants, yes, I like their yoga pants, even though I do not use them for yoga as they were intended) for years.
My favorite pajamas to date are these (the girls love them and say "look at mommy's monkey pjs!"):
http://www.target.com/p/nick-nora-poplin-sock-monkey-pajama-coat-set-pink-multi/-/A-11015458#prodSlot=medium_1_1&term=nick+and+nora+monkey+pjs
And my favorite boots this year:
http://www.amazon.com/BEARPAW-Womens-Emma-Short-Black/dp/B003DNR2IO/ref=sr_1_1?s=shoes&ie=UTF8&qid=1359136251&sr=1-1&keywords=bearpaws
I think the Bearpaws are much better than the Uggs that everyone is wearing. These boots are the warmest and have kept me plenty warm this winter.
My favorite scarves to date are the infinity scarves. I recently ordered some from The Pleated Poppy:
http://shop.thepleatedpoppy.com/category/scarves
They are comfy and easy to wrap around your neck for warmth.
The products I listed above are just some of the favorites I have been using/wearing/reading this winter.
Now on to the pet part of this update. The girls (and Dave) desperately want a hamster. We have been to Petsmart to look at the hamsters and even seen them up close. LGA got very upset the last time we went (as we were looking at cages and reading the pamphlets they have near the cages) as we left without a hamster. I know who would end up cleaning it's cage (even though Dave rather begrudgingly said he would take care of cleaning/feeding it) and feeding it. I had two hamsters growing up, Charlie and Seymour. They fought (as they were two males) so we separated them in to two cages. They also were night animals so got out and roamed the house (till we found them hiding in the bathroom laundry hampers in the am). We thought about it, but part of the pamphlet said that the hamsters will bite if you poke them inside their cages or tap on their cages a lot. I know this would be hard for OCD LGA to leave it (her as we'd get a female) alone. Also the first time it got out and ran, the cat and the dogs would chase it. And one or two little girls would probably drop it the first time it peed or pooped (and my hamster did that to me once, GROSSSSSSSSSS) on them and then it would run and we' have to try to get it. So we didn't do it, but they still want one. I told them that daddy and I would talk about it and decide. We do not want a guinea pig, even though that might be the more logical choice. However, I am sure the dogs and cat would chase a guinea pig for sure. So we will pass on that type of animal for now. I have always had pets and never had an issue saying no, but this time I pretty much said no.
The sun is out today after two days of foggy and then rain (yesterday) so I am happy. The 49'ers are in the Super Bowl (we just need them to win and then we will have two teams that won World Series and Super Bowl) so life is good.
Enjoy your weekend, those of you still reading the blog (the few of you that there are still reading).
Friday, January 25, 2013
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Homework........(edited)
We all know how hard homework can be, those of you who are parents or remember it from your school years. Well, here at Family of 4, we are facing one little girl who does not want to do her homework.
Part of it I attribute to the ADHD brain and not being able to focus. Part of it is she just doesn't want to do it. I'm having some issues as her report card came out last week (BGA) and in the section for homework, it was marked for the VERY first time ever, "Unsatisfactory." I think my jaw dropped and I was really surprised when I saw that U on her report card.
A bit of background..............BGA's teacher is a bit older, she sort of reminds me of a 'lived hard' sort of person. I can't really describe it in more detail, but I'm sure you know what I mean. Little details have come home with BGA about her teacher and her life, etc. I know way more than I thought I'd know about her teacher, but I think that is what teacher's do these days, they relate their life experiences to the kids they are teaching. At least that has been the experience here in our section of N CA and our school district. Not to say this isn't bad, but some of the life choices teachers discuss, in my child's case I really would like to be able to know ahead of time to talk to BGA about it.
SO...........you might remember that BGA's teacher was very glowing in her reports about her right before Christmas, telling me that she never gave her any problems, other than she likes to chat (and according to her report card, becomes involved in 5th grade girl drama......part of that is my fault, after listening to it and BGA not heeding any advice I gave her, I told her to talk to her teacher about it, since it was occuring at school..........so, ahem, that might be why she has that on her report card and I probably should not have given that advice). There was a previous mention to the teacher, in a note, that asked if BGA was supposed to be doing a whole page on her reading summaries (after BGA told me that she didn't need to). Note was answered back that teacher does not always give homework. So I assumed when I asked BGA if she had homework (and we all know what assume can mean, don't we? Egg on my face most definitely) she would say yes, "I need to read a book and draw a picture." Or "No I don't have math today." So assuming, (based on what the teacher wrote) she had no homework, we would proceed on to our afternoon. I would make sure she did at least read a half hour, though.
Imagine my surprise when the report card comes back and says that she has a "U" for not turning in homework! I immediately write a note asking what we can do to help her remember, stating that last year this was a VERY big issue and her teacher kept wanting her to be organized (last year's teacher was a bit milquetoast in my opinion but we dealt the best we could with it) and insisting that she MUST have an afternoon booster ADHD med to focus. We never did get it set up for pm at school as I was not sure it was the way to go. I have asked this year's teacher repeatedly if we need to add in the pm booster med to help her. Teacher has not replied, but then BGA said, "I don't want to take my meds at school"and this is mainly because no one else in her class (as opposed to last year) takes meds in school.
I get the very flowery handwritten note back from the teacher. It first tells me "don't worry." Well, I really do not appreciate that as I'm getting to see I know more about ADHD than this teacher does and I can see we will have a battle on our hands to get what we need. Don't get me wrong, I like this teacher and she has had a very positive impact on BGA this year for which I am extremely greatful. BGA had to endure a new school and leaving her friends of 4 yrs behind so having a teacher that knows '5th grade' drama as well as she does, and has daughters, really has helped. She gets BGA and I am SO glad for that this year.
The note proceeds to tell me that I should not worry about BGA and that she's "a treasure, a real prize" and "you have done a fabulous job with her." I appreciated that very much. If you have read this blog or the previous one for any length of time you know how much we have all gone through to get where we are now. It also states that she does not know what a "pm booster" is and that she thinks we are ok for now. Clearly we are not, but how much of a fight is this going to be? I write back and tell her what a pm booster med is (ADHD small dose of meds given in the pm to help with focus and hyperactivity till bedtime) and thank her for her comments.
It's decided by Dave, the teacher and I, that we will put BGA on a homework contract. So far it's working well, and she's either writing down her homework or the teacher is and signs off each day on it. Then of course we make sure she does homework and then we sign off on it and BGA returns it. All electronic devices have been taken away and will not be used (even though they were sparingly used, like when I needed to have peace to cook dinner and two girls were fighting, before dinner) at all until the "U" is brought up to an "S" (completely bypassing the "P" for progressing). BGA is not happy, however, she contributed to it so there is the consequence.
But..........that being said, I am a bit peeved at the teacher. My 80something aunt, a former 4th grade teacher, pointed out that there should have been some idea that homework was not being turned in and that there was an issue so it could be addressed before report cards came out........uh, yeah, I agree. Why were we not told of this, so we could work on it before report cards came out? Also this teacher has done NO parent teacher conferences at all. So we have no idea where BGA really is, other than her grade in math also slipped (she might need a tutor) quite a bit. Our former first grade teacher at the previous school (who previously taught 1st grade then got moved to 5th last year and BGA started out in her class till she got bumped due to the class being full) said 5th grade is when the grades start to slip, so I'm sure that and going to a new school, trying to find where she fits, friend wise, has a lot to do with it. So we didn't say too much to her, other than we might need a tutor to bring up her math homework and she would need to bring it home and complete it.
The first part of 2013 has been working on homework each night and it's getting longer and longer, as I work with LGA on her homework (and she is doing fabulously as she got an "O" for outstanding on her homework) and BGA works with Dave on hers. BGA, early on learned to act like she could not do homework which would frustrate us completely (when clearly she could as she would do one problem correctly and then claim she couldn't do another one just like it). The first inkling we got was at age 6 when she could barely read and we thought we needed a tutor. So I asked her first grade reading teacher if she felt we should sign BGA up with a tutor. Her response? "What??? She's the best reader I have in my class!" So that has been the pattern, seeking out the negative attention for homework. Dave gets frustrated because he knows when she does and doesn't know it. Homework is a struggle. And so to avoid the struggle, she chose not to bring her homework home. Evidently the teacher found a few students lacking, as there are a few 5th graders on homework contracts.
Both girls are attending after school Girl Scouts on campus so one day a week I get two whole extra hours to myself, and I've been enjoying it immensely. No having to rush back to pick BGA up (LGA gets the bus). Last week was the first week and LGA's teacher attended with LGA and another girl and this week, LGA's 'semi' friend (they have a love hate relationship with each other, and the girl is autistic I believe) attended and the GS leader told me that they have to redirect and ask LGA to listen a lot, but that they felt it would be ok. I told them if they need me to be there to help I would, they could call me, but the leader assured me it would be ok. LGA enjoys it so I really hope it is something we can keep her in. I know that girls in another troop won't be as kind to her so we will stick to the school troop, and the leader says she likes working with the younger kids. I am hoping she can be a helper. BGA enjoys it too, so I'm glad she got to go. She thought she missed the sign ups and would not get to go for the first time in 4 yrs, but the sign up sheet came home after the break and she was estatic. I would think of putting her in another troop but I really think the school exposure is good for her and the right fit so we will stick with it. And I really enjoy that extra two hours once a week! The first two years BGA attended at her previous school the troop met after school, but then switched to the lunch break, which really shorted them some time. This new school they meet after school. They will get to sell cookies for the first time also. I don't have vests for them, but they do earn patches (I can't remember where the patches are though..........need to find them and see about getting them vests). I really don't want to get too involved in it, so I am really hoping it can just be a school troop for them. They do have breaks where the kids can go to a day camp when school is out, so we might do that too, now that LGA is old enough.
That is the start of our 2013 so far........homework. The dreaded homework. Hoping to get into a groove soon. I'm also trying to find my way in 2013 for myself, not sure where to start though. I want to do something for myself but can't quite figure out what it is yet, but I know it's out there.
Part of it I attribute to the ADHD brain and not being able to focus. Part of it is she just doesn't want to do it. I'm having some issues as her report card came out last week (BGA) and in the section for homework, it was marked for the VERY first time ever, "Unsatisfactory." I think my jaw dropped and I was really surprised when I saw that U on her report card.
A bit of background..............BGA's teacher is a bit older, she sort of reminds me of a 'lived hard' sort of person. I can't really describe it in more detail, but I'm sure you know what I mean. Little details have come home with BGA about her teacher and her life, etc. I know way more than I thought I'd know about her teacher, but I think that is what teacher's do these days, they relate their life experiences to the kids they are teaching. At least that has been the experience here in our section of N CA and our school district. Not to say this isn't bad, but some of the life choices teachers discuss, in my child's case I really would like to be able to know ahead of time to talk to BGA about it.
SO...........you might remember that BGA's teacher was very glowing in her reports about her right before Christmas, telling me that she never gave her any problems, other than she likes to chat (and according to her report card, becomes involved in 5th grade girl drama......part of that is my fault, after listening to it and BGA not heeding any advice I gave her, I told her to talk to her teacher about it, since it was occuring at school..........so, ahem, that might be why she has that on her report card and I probably should not have given that advice). There was a previous mention to the teacher, in a note, that asked if BGA was supposed to be doing a whole page on her reading summaries (after BGA told me that she didn't need to). Note was answered back that teacher does not always give homework. So I assumed when I asked BGA if she had homework (and we all know what assume can mean, don't we? Egg on my face most definitely) she would say yes, "I need to read a book and draw a picture." Or "No I don't have math today." So assuming, (based on what the teacher wrote) she had no homework, we would proceed on to our afternoon. I would make sure she did at least read a half hour, though.
Imagine my surprise when the report card comes back and says that she has a "U" for not turning in homework! I immediately write a note asking what we can do to help her remember, stating that last year this was a VERY big issue and her teacher kept wanting her to be organized (last year's teacher was a bit milquetoast in my opinion but we dealt the best we could with it) and insisting that she MUST have an afternoon booster ADHD med to focus. We never did get it set up for pm at school as I was not sure it was the way to go. I have asked this year's teacher repeatedly if we need to add in the pm booster med to help her. Teacher has not replied, but then BGA said, "I don't want to take my meds at school"and this is mainly because no one else in her class (as opposed to last year) takes meds in school.
I get the very flowery handwritten note back from the teacher. It first tells me "don't worry." Well, I really do not appreciate that as I'm getting to see I know more about ADHD than this teacher does and I can see we will have a battle on our hands to get what we need. Don't get me wrong, I like this teacher and she has had a very positive impact on BGA this year for which I am extremely greatful. BGA had to endure a new school and leaving her friends of 4 yrs behind so having a teacher that knows '5th grade' drama as well as she does, and has daughters, really has helped. She gets BGA and I am SO glad for that this year.
The note proceeds to tell me that I should not worry about BGA and that she's "a treasure, a real prize" and "you have done a fabulous job with her." I appreciated that very much. If you have read this blog or the previous one for any length of time you know how much we have all gone through to get where we are now. It also states that she does not know what a "pm booster" is and that she thinks we are ok for now. Clearly we are not, but how much of a fight is this going to be? I write back and tell her what a pm booster med is (ADHD small dose of meds given in the pm to help with focus and hyperactivity till bedtime) and thank her for her comments.
It's decided by Dave, the teacher and I, that we will put BGA on a homework contract. So far it's working well, and she's either writing down her homework or the teacher is and signs off each day on it. Then of course we make sure she does homework and then we sign off on it and BGA returns it. All electronic devices have been taken away and will not be used (even though they were sparingly used, like when I needed to have peace to cook dinner and two girls were fighting, before dinner) at all until the "U" is brought up to an "S" (completely bypassing the "P" for progressing). BGA is not happy, however, she contributed to it so there is the consequence.
But..........that being said, I am a bit peeved at the teacher. My 80something aunt, a former 4th grade teacher, pointed out that there should have been some idea that homework was not being turned in and that there was an issue so it could be addressed before report cards came out........uh, yeah, I agree. Why were we not told of this, so we could work on it before report cards came out? Also this teacher has done NO parent teacher conferences at all. So we have no idea where BGA really is, other than her grade in math also slipped (she might need a tutor) quite a bit. Our former first grade teacher at the previous school (who previously taught 1st grade then got moved to 5th last year and BGA started out in her class till she got bumped due to the class being full) said 5th grade is when the grades start to slip, so I'm sure that and going to a new school, trying to find where she fits, friend wise, has a lot to do with it. So we didn't say too much to her, other than we might need a tutor to bring up her math homework and she would need to bring it home and complete it.
The first part of 2013 has been working on homework each night and it's getting longer and longer, as I work with LGA on her homework (and she is doing fabulously as she got an "O" for outstanding on her homework) and BGA works with Dave on hers. BGA, early on learned to act like she could not do homework which would frustrate us completely (when clearly she could as she would do one problem correctly and then claim she couldn't do another one just like it). The first inkling we got was at age 6 when she could barely read and we thought we needed a tutor. So I asked her first grade reading teacher if she felt we should sign BGA up with a tutor. Her response? "What??? She's the best reader I have in my class!" So that has been the pattern, seeking out the negative attention for homework. Dave gets frustrated because he knows when she does and doesn't know it. Homework is a struggle. And so to avoid the struggle, she chose not to bring her homework home. Evidently the teacher found a few students lacking, as there are a few 5th graders on homework contracts.
Both girls are attending after school Girl Scouts on campus so one day a week I get two whole extra hours to myself, and I've been enjoying it immensely. No having to rush back to pick BGA up (LGA gets the bus). Last week was the first week and LGA's teacher attended with LGA and another girl and this week, LGA's 'semi' friend (they have a love hate relationship with each other, and the girl is autistic I believe) attended and the GS leader told me that they have to redirect and ask LGA to listen a lot, but that they felt it would be ok. I told them if they need me to be there to help I would, they could call me, but the leader assured me it would be ok. LGA enjoys it so I really hope it is something we can keep her in. I know that girls in another troop won't be as kind to her so we will stick to the school troop, and the leader says she likes working with the younger kids. I am hoping she can be a helper. BGA enjoys it too, so I'm glad she got to go. She thought she missed the sign ups and would not get to go for the first time in 4 yrs, but the sign up sheet came home after the break and she was estatic. I would think of putting her in another troop but I really think the school exposure is good for her and the right fit so we will stick with it. And I really enjoy that extra two hours once a week! The first two years BGA attended at her previous school the troop met after school, but then switched to the lunch break, which really shorted them some time. This new school they meet after school. They will get to sell cookies for the first time also. I don't have vests for them, but they do earn patches (I can't remember where the patches are though..........need to find them and see about getting them vests). I really don't want to get too involved in it, so I am really hoping it can just be a school troop for them. They do have breaks where the kids can go to a day camp when school is out, so we might do that too, now that LGA is old enough.
That is the start of our 2013 so far........homework. The dreaded homework. Hoping to get into a groove soon. I'm also trying to find my way in 2013 for myself, not sure where to start though. I want to do something for myself but can't quite figure out what it is yet, but I know it's out there.
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Christmas Wrap Up, IEP and Year End.........
Hello everyone,
I hope you all had a nice Christmas holiday if you celebrate it. If not, I hope you had a peaceful day with family/friends.
I realize there haven't been many posts on this blog as of late, but I have to admit it has been a hard year. I was reminded of how hard it has been when a disagreement with a best friend came to light on Facebook and I was reminded that when I posted a few 'positive' posts that people noted it was nice to see them. I am sorry if there have been some 'downer' posts, but I can't explain how hard it has been this year. Losing my mom was losing my best friend and I just miss her very much. Then losing my 2nd mother, my English cousin, 4 mos later has been hard. Dave has had some health challenges this summer and end of year that have been eye opening for him and while manageable, also hard for me in light of everything else going on. I have not shared that here or on FB, but it's made for a challenging year. I will be very glad to see the end of 2012 and will be toasting the heck out of 2013. :-) Thank you all for the support over the last year, I really have appreciated all the support I have received here, personally and on FB.
We had a great end of year for the girls this month. I got to go hear BGA's class sing The 12 Horrible Days of Christmas on the last day of school before break. She called me to tell me there was an asembly and would I come. I had no idea there was one. She finished off her call with "I love you Mommy" twice to make sure I got the point. I noticed though that she didn't cling to me this time and while she wanted me there, she didn't want me to interact unless she initiated it. She's growing up! Her class sat near where I stood (no seats as I got there late because of a train stopped on tracks). It was hilarious and her class wrote it with the teacher, then performed it (the teacher also is a performer, I believe she sings with a group). It was hilarious and the entire assembly was great as I watched the teachers participating from singing and dancing, etc. It was great to see how enthusiastic they all were and what a great choice in this new school that we made. The only remark that her teacher made was that she is not giving her any trouble other than, "she likes to chat." I told the teacher, "Oh, she's just like her mama." LOL. But it was nice to hear this from the teacher. It made the previous 4 years worth it. The teacher told us at Back To School Night, that she can see her really trying not to get in the middle of stuff with other kids. That's such a huge improvement for her. It makes me feel very proud of who she is becoming. I see that redhaired temper appear sometimes but for the most part I see her trying harder to keep the peace with her sister, rather than blowing up at her. I only see her when she is just beyond frustrated, getting mad and yelling at LGA. I've been told that she helps LGA at school a lot (even though she has denied it) and LGA's teacher's husband, who is a sub and has subbed in both LGA's class and BGA's (and he refused to go back to BGA's class) told me that BGA was the only one who did not give him any trouble and was a great kid to have in class. This also makes me proud. BGA used to be in the middle of anything that went on and I am sure that she was loud and hyper when there was a sub as one of the subs in her class last year told her the equivalent of "shut up" in Spanish not realizing she knew what it meant. The principal refused to handle it when I complained and I did complain. I even told the principal I realized that she could be hyper and probably was a handful, but the sub did not need to tell her to "shut up" and that there were many other ways to have gotten her to behave.
LGA finished the year on a high note as well. We had her IEP the Monday before school ended. It is always a bit unnerving to go in to meet with the teacher, speech teacher and a 'member' of the staff (this can usually be the prinicpal, vice if they have one, or the counselor). I am not sure our school has a counselor, but has a principal (woman) and vice (very YOUNG 30ish woman). The principal chose to sit in on the meeting and we had it in her office. I believe the principal is either younger than me by 3 or so years or she is my age. She was very nice, very involved, and I got a great feeling from her. I love LGA's teacher, love, love, love this woman. She's got over 20 yrs experience, appears to be in her 60's, and is a great teacher. She led the IEP, very professionally, and had great strategies for teaching LGA, said she was making progress and gave us tips on how to work with her. The principal wants to set up her mentoring program and will have an older kid mentor LGA which we did at her other school. BUT.......she wants to inspire some confidence in LGA so will possibly have LGA mentor a kinder student since LGA gets along well with the younger kids. She was very involved in the meeting and didn't just sit there like the previous principa did at the old school. The speech teacher is also an older woman, and she looks to be in her 60's as well. However, for the first time, she had actual goals for LGA and will give us words to work on with her. This has NEVER happened as the only times we asked to help or said we were working on words with her we were told to stop because she wouldn't respond and we'd be doing more damage than good for her. WTH?? This teacher said 'no, we are going to work on words and she will have homework. I have goals for her.' She also told me how much LGA is bonded to me by the way she talks about me all the time. That made me feel good. I think Dave and I felt for the first time since we started having IEP's for LGA (in kinder, she's now in adjusted special ed day class, exposed to 3rd grade level at times) that this was the very first positive one where we felt we were supported and our child was succeeding. LGA has taken a jump this year, reading small sentences, and spelling, some double digit math (although math continues to be hard for her to grasp) and just overall doing well. The teacher has gotten to know her, really likes her (we had this last year when she started mainstream 2nd before we moved her and her teacher there, an older male, really liked her and was sad when she left to go to special ed day class), said she's a pleasure to have in class and really knows how to get the best out of her. She's been very supportive to me as well, given me strategies to work with her at home, and we've seen a decrease of physical use when she's frustrated as her words have increased, and as her teacher now has her draw out her frustrations and works with the kids when they have issues. I have seen her more happier, and not as many issues. We also had a very good conversation on Christmas eve, where she talked patiently, sounded out her words and didn't throw a fit if I couldn't understand her because I could....she took her time. Now when we help her with a word she can repeat it back and I see her trying hard to learn words. She was happy on Christmas eve, she was into her little tree in her room and singing the Christmas music (she's SO disappointed it's over on the all day Christmas music radio station on her radio in her room). It was a nice day. I couldn't believe the change. I know she's growing up but she still is 2 yrs behind emotionally. It was nice to see a glimpse of a more 8 yr old LGA that day. I treasure that moment. She seems to be making great progress and I'm very thankful for the support we have school wise, as I know that is not always the case. I read over part of her IEP and for 2010 it was very depressing. The current IEP was the best we've had. She's making progress. I will take it. The teen years may be hard for her, but after 4 yrs of struggles, I think with both girls, I will take this lull and enjoy it.
Christmas Eve was nice, we went out to breakfast and the girls always enjoy doing that. We ran some errands at Petsmart and Target (LGA has grown shoe and clothes size and some of her clothes do not fit. She had a pair of boots on that were 12 1/2 that she evidently wore last year but now she's in size 1, so she needed new boots, perfect as we had to brave Target for some supplies needed there). She got a pair of pink sparklys (that Dave fought me on saying they were not practical, but she loves them and EVERY girl needs a pair of pink sparklys. If they'd been in my size I would have gotten a pair too!) and a pair of silver style ugg boots. I still want her to have a black pair of dressier boots but didn't find any. We then stopped at the store and got deli meats, rolls, chips, cheeses, salami and pepperoni trays and stuff for Christmas breakfast. We ate lunch with the salami and pepperoni tray then had sandwiches, diet root beer, and sweet nibbles for dinner. I wanted to get some moose munch (from Harry and David. We love the stuff) as Ross had it so I went back out (and had a bit of time to myself) but unfortunately Ross sold out of it. I came home after a nice little break, and we finished off the night watching A Christmas Story on TBS. It was just the 4 of us and it was quiet, but very nice.
Christmas day was quiet but fun. It was very rainy and bone chillingly cold here. We opened presents (and they slept in till 8, what a nice present for Dave and I) and then we all got ready and they played with their presents and when it was time - late afternoon - we went for dinner at Marie Callendars. It wasn't the best meal there for the price, but it was nice to go out to a meal instead of cooking as we have in years past. I didn't feel like cooking and neither did Dave. But it felt great to go out. I really wanted to see a movie, but no one wanted to go. I thought that would have been a great day out to see a movie. An older woman commented on LGA's new shiny pink ugg style boots at dinner. She beamed. She behaved well for the most part at dinner. We then came home and watched some tv, and then bed for the girls. I was very cold and appear to have a mild cold. I knew I was getting a bit sick as I just couldn't seem to get warm on Christmas Day and felt cold all day long.
Dave had Sunday, Christmas eve and Christmas day off. He will have the same for New Years and the girls go back to school on 1/7. He took 1/3 off (couldn't convince him to take off 1/2) so it will be a nice week next week as well. If the rain goes away we might be able to take a day trip or two. We're staying in this week, and so far they are doing well. Minimal fights. Temps are cold - upper 40's to low 50's, and rain has ended but expected back for the weekend.I'm resting as I don't feel well. Laundry to be done, house needs to REALLY be done, but I have no energy so it will have to wait. I'm thinking if I feel better at the weekend I will enlist two helpers to get it done. ;-)
I took no pictures and on Christmas day during presents BGA said, "mom aren't you going to take pics?" No, I just didn't feel like it. I think this year is the year with mostly phone photos and no real photos taken. I guess we'll look back on that later, but I just wasn't in a mood to get out the camera and take any pics. I thought of taking a family pic before dinner, but couldn't get anyone to do what we needed (LGA has a hard time with transitions and putting up her electronic game was not easy for her) so we just barely got out the door. I feel like I'm missing recording part of their childhood, but that's ok. I'm just gonna go with it. Maybe next year I will pick up the camera again and feel more like recording their events. And that's ok too. I survived the first Christmas without my mom and it was nice and just the Christmas I needed this year. Here's to a great 2013. I will be toasting the arrival of this new year wholeheartedly.
Be safe out there friends and enjoy the rest of your 2012. Thoughts for you all of a wonderful 2013 filled with lots of special memories.
I hope you all had a nice Christmas holiday if you celebrate it. If not, I hope you had a peaceful day with family/friends.
I realize there haven't been many posts on this blog as of late, but I have to admit it has been a hard year. I was reminded of how hard it has been when a disagreement with a best friend came to light on Facebook and I was reminded that when I posted a few 'positive' posts that people noted it was nice to see them. I am sorry if there have been some 'downer' posts, but I can't explain how hard it has been this year. Losing my mom was losing my best friend and I just miss her very much. Then losing my 2nd mother, my English cousin, 4 mos later has been hard. Dave has had some health challenges this summer and end of year that have been eye opening for him and while manageable, also hard for me in light of everything else going on. I have not shared that here or on FB, but it's made for a challenging year. I will be very glad to see the end of 2012 and will be toasting the heck out of 2013. :-) Thank you all for the support over the last year, I really have appreciated all the support I have received here, personally and on FB.
We had a great end of year for the girls this month. I got to go hear BGA's class sing The 12 Horrible Days of Christmas on the last day of school before break. She called me to tell me there was an asembly and would I come. I had no idea there was one. She finished off her call with "I love you Mommy" twice to make sure I got the point. I noticed though that she didn't cling to me this time and while she wanted me there, she didn't want me to interact unless she initiated it. She's growing up! Her class sat near where I stood (no seats as I got there late because of a train stopped on tracks). It was hilarious and her class wrote it with the teacher, then performed it (the teacher also is a performer, I believe she sings with a group). It was hilarious and the entire assembly was great as I watched the teachers participating from singing and dancing, etc. It was great to see how enthusiastic they all were and what a great choice in this new school that we made. The only remark that her teacher made was that she is not giving her any trouble other than, "she likes to chat." I told the teacher, "Oh, she's just like her mama." LOL. But it was nice to hear this from the teacher. It made the previous 4 years worth it. The teacher told us at Back To School Night, that she can see her really trying not to get in the middle of stuff with other kids. That's such a huge improvement for her. It makes me feel very proud of who she is becoming. I see that redhaired temper appear sometimes but for the most part I see her trying harder to keep the peace with her sister, rather than blowing up at her. I only see her when she is just beyond frustrated, getting mad and yelling at LGA. I've been told that she helps LGA at school a lot (even though she has denied it) and LGA's teacher's husband, who is a sub and has subbed in both LGA's class and BGA's (and he refused to go back to BGA's class) told me that BGA was the only one who did not give him any trouble and was a great kid to have in class. This also makes me proud. BGA used to be in the middle of anything that went on and I am sure that she was loud and hyper when there was a sub as one of the subs in her class last year told her the equivalent of "shut up" in Spanish not realizing she knew what it meant. The principal refused to handle it when I complained and I did complain. I even told the principal I realized that she could be hyper and probably was a handful, but the sub did not need to tell her to "shut up" and that there were many other ways to have gotten her to behave.
LGA finished the year on a high note as well. We had her IEP the Monday before school ended. It is always a bit unnerving to go in to meet with the teacher, speech teacher and a 'member' of the staff (this can usually be the prinicpal, vice if they have one, or the counselor). I am not sure our school has a counselor, but has a principal (woman) and vice (very YOUNG 30ish woman). The principal chose to sit in on the meeting and we had it in her office. I believe the principal is either younger than me by 3 or so years or she is my age. She was very nice, very involved, and I got a great feeling from her. I love LGA's teacher, love, love, love this woman. She's got over 20 yrs experience, appears to be in her 60's, and is a great teacher. She led the IEP, very professionally, and had great strategies for teaching LGA, said she was making progress and gave us tips on how to work with her. The principal wants to set up her mentoring program and will have an older kid mentor LGA which we did at her other school. BUT.......she wants to inspire some confidence in LGA so will possibly have LGA mentor a kinder student since LGA gets along well with the younger kids. She was very involved in the meeting and didn't just sit there like the previous principa did at the old school. The speech teacher is also an older woman, and she looks to be in her 60's as well. However, for the first time, she had actual goals for LGA and will give us words to work on with her. This has NEVER happened as the only times we asked to help or said we were working on words with her we were told to stop because she wouldn't respond and we'd be doing more damage than good for her. WTH?? This teacher said 'no, we are going to work on words and she will have homework. I have goals for her.' She also told me how much LGA is bonded to me by the way she talks about me all the time. That made me feel good. I think Dave and I felt for the first time since we started having IEP's for LGA (in kinder, she's now in adjusted special ed day class, exposed to 3rd grade level at times) that this was the very first positive one where we felt we were supported and our child was succeeding. LGA has taken a jump this year, reading small sentences, and spelling, some double digit math (although math continues to be hard for her to grasp) and just overall doing well. The teacher has gotten to know her, really likes her (we had this last year when she started mainstream 2nd before we moved her and her teacher there, an older male, really liked her and was sad when she left to go to special ed day class), said she's a pleasure to have in class and really knows how to get the best out of her. She's been very supportive to me as well, given me strategies to work with her at home, and we've seen a decrease of physical use when she's frustrated as her words have increased, and as her teacher now has her draw out her frustrations and works with the kids when they have issues. I have seen her more happier, and not as many issues. We also had a very good conversation on Christmas eve, where she talked patiently, sounded out her words and didn't throw a fit if I couldn't understand her because I could....she took her time. Now when we help her with a word she can repeat it back and I see her trying hard to learn words. She was happy on Christmas eve, she was into her little tree in her room and singing the Christmas music (she's SO disappointed it's over on the all day Christmas music radio station on her radio in her room). It was a nice day. I couldn't believe the change. I know she's growing up but she still is 2 yrs behind emotionally. It was nice to see a glimpse of a more 8 yr old LGA that day. I treasure that moment. She seems to be making great progress and I'm very thankful for the support we have school wise, as I know that is not always the case. I read over part of her IEP and for 2010 it was very depressing. The current IEP was the best we've had. She's making progress. I will take it. The teen years may be hard for her, but after 4 yrs of struggles, I think with both girls, I will take this lull and enjoy it.
Christmas Eve was nice, we went out to breakfast and the girls always enjoy doing that. We ran some errands at Petsmart and Target (LGA has grown shoe and clothes size and some of her clothes do not fit. She had a pair of boots on that were 12 1/2 that she evidently wore last year but now she's in size 1, so she needed new boots, perfect as we had to brave Target for some supplies needed there). She got a pair of pink sparklys (that Dave fought me on saying they were not practical, but she loves them and EVERY girl needs a pair of pink sparklys. If they'd been in my size I would have gotten a pair too!) and a pair of silver style ugg boots. I still want her to have a black pair of dressier boots but didn't find any. We then stopped at the store and got deli meats, rolls, chips, cheeses, salami and pepperoni trays and stuff for Christmas breakfast. We ate lunch with the salami and pepperoni tray then had sandwiches, diet root beer, and sweet nibbles for dinner. I wanted to get some moose munch (from Harry and David. We love the stuff) as Ross had it so I went back out (and had a bit of time to myself) but unfortunately Ross sold out of it. I came home after a nice little break, and we finished off the night watching A Christmas Story on TBS. It was just the 4 of us and it was quiet, but very nice.
Christmas day was quiet but fun. It was very rainy and bone chillingly cold here. We opened presents (and they slept in till 8, what a nice present for Dave and I) and then we all got ready and they played with their presents and when it was time - late afternoon - we went for dinner at Marie Callendars. It wasn't the best meal there for the price, but it was nice to go out to a meal instead of cooking as we have in years past. I didn't feel like cooking and neither did Dave. But it felt great to go out. I really wanted to see a movie, but no one wanted to go. I thought that would have been a great day out to see a movie. An older woman commented on LGA's new shiny pink ugg style boots at dinner. She beamed. She behaved well for the most part at dinner. We then came home and watched some tv, and then bed for the girls. I was very cold and appear to have a mild cold. I knew I was getting a bit sick as I just couldn't seem to get warm on Christmas Day and felt cold all day long.
Dave had Sunday, Christmas eve and Christmas day off. He will have the same for New Years and the girls go back to school on 1/7. He took 1/3 off (couldn't convince him to take off 1/2) so it will be a nice week next week as well. If the rain goes away we might be able to take a day trip or two. We're staying in this week, and so far they are doing well. Minimal fights. Temps are cold - upper 40's to low 50's, and rain has ended but expected back for the weekend.I'm resting as I don't feel well. Laundry to be done, house needs to REALLY be done, but I have no energy so it will have to wait. I'm thinking if I feel better at the weekend I will enlist two helpers to get it done. ;-)
I took no pictures and on Christmas day during presents BGA said, "mom aren't you going to take pics?" No, I just didn't feel like it. I think this year is the year with mostly phone photos and no real photos taken. I guess we'll look back on that later, but I just wasn't in a mood to get out the camera and take any pics. I thought of taking a family pic before dinner, but couldn't get anyone to do what we needed (LGA has a hard time with transitions and putting up her electronic game was not easy for her) so we just barely got out the door. I feel like I'm missing recording part of their childhood, but that's ok. I'm just gonna go with it. Maybe next year I will pick up the camera again and feel more like recording their events. And that's ok too. I survived the first Christmas without my mom and it was nice and just the Christmas I needed this year. Here's to a great 2013. I will be toasting the arrival of this new year wholeheartedly.
Be safe out there friends and enjoy the rest of your 2012. Thoughts for you all of a wonderful 2013 filled with lots of special memories.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
We Had A Quiet Thanksgiving......Thankgiving Recap.
We had a nice quiet Thanksgiving holiday. The girls have been off all week. I was NOT sure how that was going to go, because if you have been reading this blog, in the past, you know that holidays are not great here at Family of 4. We have had our share of holidays where there was grieving, acting out, fits, tantrums, etc. We would just count down the hours for the holidays to be over.
Last year, our holidays were pretty good, and there were just a few issues here and there. I thought, "well, I can certainly take that, it's an improvement over previous holidays." This year, my mother was not with us, but I tried to downplay that and was able to get through the day with no crying. I did not do very well this am, but it was short and brief and I just got through it, which is what I have been reading you have to do. But this am was the first time I had to send LGA to time out as she just would not listen, ignored me when I asked her to do something, put the dog's food on the living room floor (digging in their food bowls) so now the dogs think they must drag their food onto the carpet. Ugh. But she went to time out, did her time out and has turned it around. I got straight to the point and told her if she didn't behave no movie today. She turned it around.
On Wed before Thanksgiving I decided to go get my flu shot. We weren't cooking and decided on a Marie Callendar's turkey breast, mashed potatoes (I hate making them but like to eat them) and pie. I also got a very small 3lb ham because the girls really like it (Dave doesn't) and I don't mind it but prefer turkey. It was nice to have both though. So......decided to get my flu shot and when I found out (at Walgreens) that I had no co-pay, I decided to get the pneumonia shot as I was a preemie and colds settle heavily in my chest sometimes.
A cute thing happened while getting the flu shot. The pharmacist came out with the flu and pneumonia shots and the girls got visibly squirrely. The pharmacist I am sure, is used to this, so he said, "who is next?" They got even more squirrely, and I told him they'd had their flu shots already. So then he said, "ok girls, you can hold your mom's hand if you want to." Two girls immediately grabbed my hands and squeezed them. They even said I should have an extra treat cause I had two shots! LOL.
Fast forward to Thanksgiving day. I had the first ever (in my case) reaction to the flu shot. Seriously I have NEVER had a reaction. I have even had the pneumonia shot and flu shot 5 yrs ago (when I last had the two of them together as the pneumonia shot you only need to have once every 5 years) and did not have a reaction. But this day I did. I had a mild version of the flu that I still feel (and my arm is sort of rashy at the injection site, also never had before) today, although not as bad as Thanksgiving day and the day after. Dave worked all week, and had to be at work at 7, so I was up early to get my shower in and ready before he left. So I was already tired. I literally felt achy and my injection site hurt. I just didn't feel like moving. We all put sweats on and stayed in. I got some of the small prep done and put out the stuff we'd need, and evidently took a 2 hr nap. When I woke up Dave was heating up the turkey and made the glaze for the ham following the recipe I found and had laying on the table. I helped him finish the rest of the meal and then we had a nice meal. I even did the dishes. Poor LGA was hopped up hyper though and just physically could not sit still. She tried but she just could not make it. So bedtime followed and she did manage to crash an hour after bedtime. But the thing I notice about this week off is she has been sleeping in till 7 or sometimes 8. She was doing this last year but then this year with an early bus and summer, she was up at 6 sometimes before 6. We will need to replace her black out curtains as they are pink and when the sun comes up it shines in on her room and it causes a pink glow. Not the blackout that she needs so will need to go with a darker color. I do believe it's time to update her room and get rid of the Disney princess theme as I think she's outgrowing it. She's had it for 3 1/2 yrs. She's growing up too. We got rid of all the babydolls in her room last weekend. :-( Sigh. My baby no longer wants to play with baby dolls.
Yesterday I felt pretty off and achy also. We stayed in and the girls got to decorate their purple 2 inch Christmas trees. OH what fun they had. I have no pictures as I am a slacker mom on photography lately. I have phone pics but have not figured out how to post them without them being thumbnail size. They loved it. I put the lights on then let each girl decorate (thanks Target $1 decorations). They had ornaments they'd made in school, they had cute little ornaments, etc. They had a blast. They wanted Daddy to see when he came home and couldn't wait for him to see their trees. It was fun. So far no one is messing with them either. I said during the day they could adjust ornaments, but once night time came it was bedtime and no playing with ornaments (which I wondered if LGA would do, since she's my OCD girl, but so far she has not touched her tree). It was fun and while they wanted bigger trees I told them we'd see how they did this year and if all went well we'd maybe buy them larger trees (and they want pink, LOL).
I still feel achy (but each day better) today. Wow, yuck, don't like flu reactions. It's messing me up. Go away flu reaction.
SO I'd say that this holiday was a success, we laughed and joked at the table. The meal was simple, as BGA likes it and she ate all of it (I made plain stove top and just added sauteed onion and celery and instead of water used chicken broth. BGA hates stuffing and ate it all). We had chocolate cream pie for dessert and that was a huge hit (my girls are not really pie eaters). No one threw a fit or tantrum, it was great. I hope it continues on for Christmas, however, Christmas is much more amped up, so I'm not going to hold out hope, but it was nice to have a good meal and no one got upset or threw a fit. Come to think of it, Dave, Ariana and myself all had birthdays lately and they went well too. I enjoyed having the girls home and they really as I said (hope I don't jinx myself for tomorrow!!!) behaved well all week long. Today was the first time out all week. And LGA turned it around. It's not always that way, but I am starting to see a connection (the school had a school wide program on behavior and what to do before you act, etc.) for LGA and that sometimes she can turn it around. We have learned some coping skills and how to work with her to turn around her behavior and help her work through when she's upset, so I'm seeing some progress, which makes me happy. It's still ongoing and it's still hard a lot of the time, but some progress is good.
Hope you all had wonderful holidays with your friends, family, or whoever you spent it with. Thanksgiving 2012, was a nice, quiet one for us and other than really not feeling very well, it was a great holiday. Who would ever have thought that we would get to this point and enjoy a holiday? Nice. :-)
Last year, our holidays were pretty good, and there were just a few issues here and there. I thought, "well, I can certainly take that, it's an improvement over previous holidays." This year, my mother was not with us, but I tried to downplay that and was able to get through the day with no crying. I did not do very well this am, but it was short and brief and I just got through it, which is what I have been reading you have to do. But this am was the first time I had to send LGA to time out as she just would not listen, ignored me when I asked her to do something, put the dog's food on the living room floor (digging in their food bowls) so now the dogs think they must drag their food onto the carpet. Ugh. But she went to time out, did her time out and has turned it around. I got straight to the point and told her if she didn't behave no movie today. She turned it around.
On Wed before Thanksgiving I decided to go get my flu shot. We weren't cooking and decided on a Marie Callendar's turkey breast, mashed potatoes (I hate making them but like to eat them) and pie. I also got a very small 3lb ham because the girls really like it (Dave doesn't) and I don't mind it but prefer turkey. It was nice to have both though. So......decided to get my flu shot and when I found out (at Walgreens) that I had no co-pay, I decided to get the pneumonia shot as I was a preemie and colds settle heavily in my chest sometimes.
A cute thing happened while getting the flu shot. The pharmacist came out with the flu and pneumonia shots and the girls got visibly squirrely. The pharmacist I am sure, is used to this, so he said, "who is next?" They got even more squirrely, and I told him they'd had their flu shots already. So then he said, "ok girls, you can hold your mom's hand if you want to." Two girls immediately grabbed my hands and squeezed them. They even said I should have an extra treat cause I had two shots! LOL.
Fast forward to Thanksgiving day. I had the first ever (in my case) reaction to the flu shot. Seriously I have NEVER had a reaction. I have even had the pneumonia shot and flu shot 5 yrs ago (when I last had the two of them together as the pneumonia shot you only need to have once every 5 years) and did not have a reaction. But this day I did. I had a mild version of the flu that I still feel (and my arm is sort of rashy at the injection site, also never had before) today, although not as bad as Thanksgiving day and the day after. Dave worked all week, and had to be at work at 7, so I was up early to get my shower in and ready before he left. So I was already tired. I literally felt achy and my injection site hurt. I just didn't feel like moving. We all put sweats on and stayed in. I got some of the small prep done and put out the stuff we'd need, and evidently took a 2 hr nap. When I woke up Dave was heating up the turkey and made the glaze for the ham following the recipe I found and had laying on the table. I helped him finish the rest of the meal and then we had a nice meal. I even did the dishes. Poor LGA was hopped up hyper though and just physically could not sit still. She tried but she just could not make it. So bedtime followed and she did manage to crash an hour after bedtime. But the thing I notice about this week off is she has been sleeping in till 7 or sometimes 8. She was doing this last year but then this year with an early bus and summer, she was up at 6 sometimes before 6. We will need to replace her black out curtains as they are pink and when the sun comes up it shines in on her room and it causes a pink glow. Not the blackout that she needs so will need to go with a darker color. I do believe it's time to update her room and get rid of the Disney princess theme as I think she's outgrowing it. She's had it for 3 1/2 yrs. She's growing up too. We got rid of all the babydolls in her room last weekend. :-( Sigh. My baby no longer wants to play with baby dolls.
Yesterday I felt pretty off and achy also. We stayed in and the girls got to decorate their purple 2 inch Christmas trees. OH what fun they had. I have no pictures as I am a slacker mom on photography lately. I have phone pics but have not figured out how to post them without them being thumbnail size. They loved it. I put the lights on then let each girl decorate (thanks Target $1 decorations). They had ornaments they'd made in school, they had cute little ornaments, etc. They had a blast. They wanted Daddy to see when he came home and couldn't wait for him to see their trees. It was fun. So far no one is messing with them either. I said during the day they could adjust ornaments, but once night time came it was bedtime and no playing with ornaments (which I wondered if LGA would do, since she's my OCD girl, but so far she has not touched her tree). It was fun and while they wanted bigger trees I told them we'd see how they did this year and if all went well we'd maybe buy them larger trees (and they want pink, LOL).
I still feel achy (but each day better) today. Wow, yuck, don't like flu reactions. It's messing me up. Go away flu reaction.
SO I'd say that this holiday was a success, we laughed and joked at the table. The meal was simple, as BGA likes it and she ate all of it (I made plain stove top and just added sauteed onion and celery and instead of water used chicken broth. BGA hates stuffing and ate it all). We had chocolate cream pie for dessert and that was a huge hit (my girls are not really pie eaters). No one threw a fit or tantrum, it was great. I hope it continues on for Christmas, however, Christmas is much more amped up, so I'm not going to hold out hope, but it was nice to have a good meal and no one got upset or threw a fit. Come to think of it, Dave, Ariana and myself all had birthdays lately and they went well too. I enjoyed having the girls home and they really as I said (hope I don't jinx myself for tomorrow!!!) behaved well all week long. Today was the first time out all week. And LGA turned it around. It's not always that way, but I am starting to see a connection (the school had a school wide program on behavior and what to do before you act, etc.) for LGA and that sometimes she can turn it around. We have learned some coping skills and how to work with her to turn around her behavior and help her work through when she's upset, so I'm seeing some progress, which makes me happy. It's still ongoing and it's still hard a lot of the time, but some progress is good.
Hope you all had wonderful holidays with your friends, family, or whoever you spent it with. Thanksgiving 2012, was a nice, quiet one for us and other than really not feeling very well, it was a great holiday. Who would ever have thought that we would get to this point and enjoy a holiday? Nice. :-)
Thursday, November 15, 2012
My Girl is 11............
Where did the time go??? BGA turned 11 yesterday.
I remember when she came home, at 6 yrs old. She was scared, she didn't trust anyone, she wanted to be in control, she had so many emotions.
This year I have seen her grow a bit. She started a new school, and had to leave her friends behind, the friends she developed, good or bad, over the last 4 yrs. She didn't want to do it. She found a friend at the new school and for some reason this year some of her confidence began to show. She is taking violin lessons and she is Seargant At Arms on the class council (she helps at awards assemblies and carries the flag during assemblies, complete with a class council t'shirt that she's very proud of). She is wanting to be part of more activites at school. She has the confidence to lead (she's always wanted to be the leader but would shy away from anything that was performance related). Her school work has slipped, but we are allowing for that and trying to get her back on track.
I have seen her give in a bit more to her sister as well. She used to not give in and there would be fights that would break out between the two sisters. Now I see her give in more and I see a more compassionate side to her.
We celebrated her birthday yesterday by going to her favorite buffet style restaurant, and then coming back for presents and cake. She is getting out of the more toy style of presents and more into the 'tween/teen' presents. I am sad to see the toy part go (ie Barbies) but looking forward to buying more teen styles and shopping with her, as that was something my mother and I always enjoyed. I gave her the first pair of tiny gold hoops and she loved them. Wanted to wear them to school, but had to say no on that one. I told her she can wear them next week when there is no school.
I am enjoying more conversations with her also on the ride back from school to home. She shares her days with me, which is a plus. In her other school she would just tell me her day was 'ok' and that would be it. I'm encouraging her to share more with me, actually both girls are doing it. I am so glad LGA is doing it. It is creating less tantrums after school, although there are still some fits/tantrums there if she's had a bad day. She keeps it all in, then lets it all out at home where she feels safe to do so. Some days it's hard, as I have to brace myself for it. But as the girls are getting older, I am seeing more sharing, more older kid stuff rather than younger kid toys, behaviors, etc. LGA still, due to her issues, has some younger than her age behavior, but I am seeing some more 8 yr old behavior coming in, and I have to say, I am enjoying this stage more than the younger behaviors. I know this is a lull, though, when the teen years hit, it will all disappear. But at this time in my life, I am enjoying this time with them and they are comforting me (and frustrating me at times, as well, as all kids do).
I am proud of where BGA has come from and how much growth she has had in the last 4 1/2 years. We had a pretty stress free birthday, and she did very well, behaviorwise. There weren't any fits or pouts at all. That's a good birthday for us. She is a totally different kid then the one who came to live with us. That's not to say she doesn't have her own issues but there is growth and that is important.
I am looking forward to the girls being off a week from school next week, and I think there will be some crafts and movies (it's supposed to rain all week) in our week off. We added our 4th dog, another Cavalier, (who will be our therapy dog, hopefully, once I get her trained) in Oct. A young 1 1/2 yr old very small (for a Cavalier) dog. We had to drive two hours to get her in the foothillls. There were pine cones that we brought home (left in the garage in case any bugs were on them) so hoping to do the glue and glitter craft with the girls so we can put them on the mantel this year. I brought a few of my mother's Christmas decorations back with me (I have very few, other than tree and ornaments as I never really was able to afford to buy any decorations each year) so am looking forward to decorating a bit this year. The girls have their own small Christmas trees to put in their rooms, so I just have to find some lights to put on them and they will be (courtesy of Target's $1 decorations, that I don't care if they get broken) able to decorate their own bedroom trees this year. We will see how that goes, but I'm going to let them do it.
One thing I learned this week...........if you use Melatonin as a sleep aide for your child, not to go down a dose. Poor LGA has not been able to sleep, was up 2 1/2 hours PAST her bedtime, talking loud, getting up out of her bed, etc. It was a nightmare, she was tired and cranky and acting out and we were wishing she'd go to sleep as we needed her to be in bed by the time she went to bed. Her teacher noticed and had a chat with me on Tuesday about her excessive talking. She was napping on the bus, so once she gets a nap she would not go to sleep easily. We finally got a 1mg pill to add to make her regular dose and she was asleep about 40 mins past her bedtime, but I allowed for that as it was BGA's birthday. I hope that means we are back to our regularly scheduled bedtime. Wow. We have enough issues with her waking a couple of times a night, we do not need the issue of getting her to sleep as well. Now I wish she would sleep in, at least as she sometimes can, till 7. Getting up at the crack of dawn at 6 is not fun.
Hope you are all enjoying the week before Thanksgiving. It was fun having BGA's bday this week. I still need to go food shopping and I'm not looking forward to that. I hate grocery shopping, the picking of the items, putting them on the conveyer, loading and unloading and putting away. If I time it right I usually have Dave to help me. We will see how that goes. Glad to have two little helpers though, they bring in the bags too which helps. I just have to make sure I don't give them anything that can get damaged, eggs, sparkling water, that someone thinks is fun to shake up so when you open the bottle it sprays everywhere. I'm not speaking from personal experience, no.........
I remember when she came home, at 6 yrs old. She was scared, she didn't trust anyone, she wanted to be in control, she had so many emotions.
This year I have seen her grow a bit. She started a new school, and had to leave her friends behind, the friends she developed, good or bad, over the last 4 yrs. She didn't want to do it. She found a friend at the new school and for some reason this year some of her confidence began to show. She is taking violin lessons and she is Seargant At Arms on the class council (she helps at awards assemblies and carries the flag during assemblies, complete with a class council t'shirt that she's very proud of). She is wanting to be part of more activites at school. She has the confidence to lead (she's always wanted to be the leader but would shy away from anything that was performance related). Her school work has slipped, but we are allowing for that and trying to get her back on track.
I have seen her give in a bit more to her sister as well. She used to not give in and there would be fights that would break out between the two sisters. Now I see her give in more and I see a more compassionate side to her.
We celebrated her birthday yesterday by going to her favorite buffet style restaurant, and then coming back for presents and cake. She is getting out of the more toy style of presents and more into the 'tween/teen' presents. I am sad to see the toy part go (ie Barbies) but looking forward to buying more teen styles and shopping with her, as that was something my mother and I always enjoyed. I gave her the first pair of tiny gold hoops and she loved them. Wanted to wear them to school, but had to say no on that one. I told her she can wear them next week when there is no school.
I am enjoying more conversations with her also on the ride back from school to home. She shares her days with me, which is a plus. In her other school she would just tell me her day was 'ok' and that would be it. I'm encouraging her to share more with me, actually both girls are doing it. I am so glad LGA is doing it. It is creating less tantrums after school, although there are still some fits/tantrums there if she's had a bad day. She keeps it all in, then lets it all out at home where she feels safe to do so. Some days it's hard, as I have to brace myself for it. But as the girls are getting older, I am seeing more sharing, more older kid stuff rather than younger kid toys, behaviors, etc. LGA still, due to her issues, has some younger than her age behavior, but I am seeing some more 8 yr old behavior coming in, and I have to say, I am enjoying this stage more than the younger behaviors. I know this is a lull, though, when the teen years hit, it will all disappear. But at this time in my life, I am enjoying this time with them and they are comforting me (and frustrating me at times, as well, as all kids do).
I am proud of where BGA has come from and how much growth she has had in the last 4 1/2 years. We had a pretty stress free birthday, and she did very well, behaviorwise. There weren't any fits or pouts at all. That's a good birthday for us. She is a totally different kid then the one who came to live with us. That's not to say she doesn't have her own issues but there is growth and that is important.
I am looking forward to the girls being off a week from school next week, and I think there will be some crafts and movies (it's supposed to rain all week) in our week off. We added our 4th dog, another Cavalier, (who will be our therapy dog, hopefully, once I get her trained) in Oct. A young 1 1/2 yr old very small (for a Cavalier) dog. We had to drive two hours to get her in the foothillls. There were pine cones that we brought home (left in the garage in case any bugs were on them) so hoping to do the glue and glitter craft with the girls so we can put them on the mantel this year. I brought a few of my mother's Christmas decorations back with me (I have very few, other than tree and ornaments as I never really was able to afford to buy any decorations each year) so am looking forward to decorating a bit this year. The girls have their own small Christmas trees to put in their rooms, so I just have to find some lights to put on them and they will be (courtesy of Target's $1 decorations, that I don't care if they get broken) able to decorate their own bedroom trees this year. We will see how that goes, but I'm going to let them do it.
One thing I learned this week...........if you use Melatonin as a sleep aide for your child, not to go down a dose. Poor LGA has not been able to sleep, was up 2 1/2 hours PAST her bedtime, talking loud, getting up out of her bed, etc. It was a nightmare, she was tired and cranky and acting out and we were wishing she'd go to sleep as we needed her to be in bed by the time she went to bed. Her teacher noticed and had a chat with me on Tuesday about her excessive talking. She was napping on the bus, so once she gets a nap she would not go to sleep easily. We finally got a 1mg pill to add to make her regular dose and she was asleep about 40 mins past her bedtime, but I allowed for that as it was BGA's birthday. I hope that means we are back to our regularly scheduled bedtime. Wow. We have enough issues with her waking a couple of times a night, we do not need the issue of getting her to sleep as well. Now I wish she would sleep in, at least as she sometimes can, till 7. Getting up at the crack of dawn at 6 is not fun.
Hope you are all enjoying the week before Thanksgiving. It was fun having BGA's bday this week. I still need to go food shopping and I'm not looking forward to that. I hate grocery shopping, the picking of the items, putting them on the conveyer, loading and unloading and putting away. If I time it right I usually have Dave to help me. We will see how that goes. Glad to have two little helpers though, they bring in the bags too which helps. I just have to make sure I don't give them anything that can get damaged, eggs, sparkling water, that someone thinks is fun to shake up so when you open the bottle it sprays everywhere. I'm not speaking from personal experience, no.........
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Halloween and The Aftermath of Candy.............
How did your Halloween go?
Ours went pretty well. The candy influx started the Friday before, at the Fall Festival I wrote about below. More about candy to follow......
Halloween happens to be my birthday, so we have adopted a new tradition since the girls have been home. In the past we have been lucky enough to share 5 Halloweens with the girls. Our first was with RachelZ, Heather, and their families, complete with trick or treating, dinner and birthday cake. It was nice but the girls were still grieving and it was a hard holiday. The 2nd one we spent with my mother in laws, and mother in law made their costumes. The 3rd one we spent with Aunt Kim, complete with dinner and bday cake. The 4th one, last year, I had a wisdom tooth infection so I stayed home and the girls went trick or treating in the neighborhood with Dave and had a huge candy haul (which they traded in for toys). We had dinner and cake when they got back.
This year I wanted to go with them so we ate a quick dinner (the girls and I went and got cake for my birthday together, that's an important step for them and they picked my cake last year too) and off we went. The houses that had lights on in the neighborhood were few and far between. After walking for a half hour without much luck, we looped around to our house, got in the car and drove around 3 neighborhoods, with much more luck. LGA who has been fearless, was quite frightened by the houses with people dressed up. She didn't mind the animated skeletons, etc., but did not care for the people dressed up. Dave walked them up to those houses. No one had any nightmares afterwards which is good, but they definitely had more fear this year. We just made sure one of us walked them up if they wanted to go and we moved on when they did not want to go to a house.
So the candy and wanting 'my' candy began immediately. We came back for cake and ice cream so no one got candy that night but I let BGA take some to school to trade (first year I have let her do this, but she's in 5th and I figured it was time). LGA immediately began to bug me for candy when she got home. I let them have a couple of pieces after school. I let them have a piece or two, here and there, assuming they would trade it in. No one seemed able to do that this year. They must not have wanted a toy, even though toys are high on their list now (getting close to Christmas).
The topper was last Saturday, when we decided to go see Wreck It Ralph. The girls and Dave wanted to see this movie, so we waited till Dave got off work to go. I did make baked oatmeal which had some sugar in it, and I did let them have a piece of candy at lunch. They also were able to pack some candy in a ziploc baggie to take to the movie then we were going to eat at Red Robin, a family favorite. Well..........all went well, till we got to Red Robin. The girls were fine, but BGA had a bit too much fiber in the oatmeal (must remember this if she needs a bit of help in that area) and had a full tummy till she took care of business. So she finally ate her dinner, but LGA put too much pepper on her spaghetti that she chose (spaghetti is her food, she orders it when we go out all the time). I didn't see it for some reason, Dave only caught it when he looked over. Normally giving her the pepper to put on food has not been an issue but twice now she has done this. So no more pepper that she gets to put on her food by herself. People say, "let them do it on their own." All well and good but we have two eaters who if they accidentally put too much on, will refuse to eat their meal and we end up wasting it or in this case, a huge fit ensues (cause you knew that was coming right???). So we do it for them and they get frustrated, but either they will do it on purpose or accidentally and then pick at and not eat the food.
So..............a small fit, that escalated, began to brew in LGA. It became full blown when I asked her to mix up the pepper and that would make it easier to eat. I gave her some of my ribs that I ordered in case she did not want to eat the spaghetti, and she could eat those and the fruit she ordered with her plate. However, the fit was brewing and then she blew. Right in front of a baseball team of boys, the entire dining section (because Red Robin is sort of a loud place). A couple behind us could not even close their mouths, they had open mouth jaw dropping looks on their faces (older couple). Luckily it was at the end of dinner and we were able to leave the restaurant. It was not pretty. It was a candy high and then sugar drop of epic porportions. Usually LGA has been great in restaurants, but this year, if she is facing across from her sister, she kicks her she starts something and her behavior has been almost 3 yr old tantrumish. The only thing I can think of is she is emulating the kids in her special ed class. But it's very frustrating, because our once good eater, and good kid to take to a restaurant is now a nightmare to take out. You have to go over expectations and how we behave, etc. Granted this one was a sugar high, but still it was not pretty. I was pretty embarrassed.
So this week as she has continued to ask about candy, we have focused on how candy makes us behave and feel. She has gotten a piece or two, but that is it. Then yesterday we told her the candy was done. We will keep the gum as now that her caps are almost gone, we do let her chew gum. Her behavior has been a bit off due to the time change and she's tired more in the evenings and mornings. Mornings continue to be a challenge for getting her ready, till her meds kick in. I truly hate mornings at our house on the weekdays and weekends she's up at the crack of dawn. If you don't get up with her and send her back to her room to play quietly, she will get up and roam the house so one of us gets up with her, usually Dave, as he's the earlier riser (me being a night owl).
We took the girls for their 6 mos check up. BGA has gained 3 pounds and grown a couple of inches, LGA 2 pounds (but I suspect a growth spurt as she's eating more these days) and is 3 inches shorter than her sister. We had a nurse practioner, which I actually prefer, as she actually took the time to answer my questions. Usually the dr. rushes through it. But I also had Dave with me, which makes it SO much easier. LGA got her flu shot, and it was decided to give her pm ADHD booster at school. I hope this does not mean we will suffer the after effects when the med wears off, at home. Right now it's more peaceful in the pm's, and I can get homework done with LGA. I hope I will still have a window with this when she takes her med at school. But teacher insists she loses focus around 12 and needs the pm med at school. So we'll see how this works.
I'm gradually getting rid of the candy and trying to get balanced meals and snacks back in. But the behaviors with time change and Halloween have left a bit to be desired. We have had a few behaviors this week. Hoping as we ease into the colder weather (it's supposed to be upper 50's and one mid 50, this week/next week, a couple of lower 60's thrown in, so cooler) and time change that we even out a bit.
How was Halloween at your house? Happy November to you all. I'm thankful for my family this month, those who are here and those who have passed on.
Ours went pretty well. The candy influx started the Friday before, at the Fall Festival I wrote about below. More about candy to follow......
Halloween happens to be my birthday, so we have adopted a new tradition since the girls have been home. In the past we have been lucky enough to share 5 Halloweens with the girls. Our first was with RachelZ, Heather, and their families, complete with trick or treating, dinner and birthday cake. It was nice but the girls were still grieving and it was a hard holiday. The 2nd one we spent with my mother in laws, and mother in law made their costumes. The 3rd one we spent with Aunt Kim, complete with dinner and bday cake. The 4th one, last year, I had a wisdom tooth infection so I stayed home and the girls went trick or treating in the neighborhood with Dave and had a huge candy haul (which they traded in for toys). We had dinner and cake when they got back.
This year I wanted to go with them so we ate a quick dinner (the girls and I went and got cake for my birthday together, that's an important step for them and they picked my cake last year too) and off we went. The houses that had lights on in the neighborhood were few and far between. After walking for a half hour without much luck, we looped around to our house, got in the car and drove around 3 neighborhoods, with much more luck. LGA who has been fearless, was quite frightened by the houses with people dressed up. She didn't mind the animated skeletons, etc., but did not care for the people dressed up. Dave walked them up to those houses. No one had any nightmares afterwards which is good, but they definitely had more fear this year. We just made sure one of us walked them up if they wanted to go and we moved on when they did not want to go to a house.
So the candy and wanting 'my' candy began immediately. We came back for cake and ice cream so no one got candy that night but I let BGA take some to school to trade (first year I have let her do this, but she's in 5th and I figured it was time). LGA immediately began to bug me for candy when she got home. I let them have a couple of pieces after school. I let them have a piece or two, here and there, assuming they would trade it in. No one seemed able to do that this year. They must not have wanted a toy, even though toys are high on their list now (getting close to Christmas).
The topper was last Saturday, when we decided to go see Wreck It Ralph. The girls and Dave wanted to see this movie, so we waited till Dave got off work to go. I did make baked oatmeal which had some sugar in it, and I did let them have a piece of candy at lunch. They also were able to pack some candy in a ziploc baggie to take to the movie then we were going to eat at Red Robin, a family favorite. Well..........all went well, till we got to Red Robin. The girls were fine, but BGA had a bit too much fiber in the oatmeal (must remember this if she needs a bit of help in that area) and had a full tummy till she took care of business. So she finally ate her dinner, but LGA put too much pepper on her spaghetti that she chose (spaghetti is her food, she orders it when we go out all the time). I didn't see it for some reason, Dave only caught it when he looked over. Normally giving her the pepper to put on food has not been an issue but twice now she has done this. So no more pepper that she gets to put on her food by herself. People say, "let them do it on their own." All well and good but we have two eaters who if they accidentally put too much on, will refuse to eat their meal and we end up wasting it or in this case, a huge fit ensues (cause you knew that was coming right???). So we do it for them and they get frustrated, but either they will do it on purpose or accidentally and then pick at and not eat the food.
So..............a small fit, that escalated, began to brew in LGA. It became full blown when I asked her to mix up the pepper and that would make it easier to eat. I gave her some of my ribs that I ordered in case she did not want to eat the spaghetti, and she could eat those and the fruit she ordered with her plate. However, the fit was brewing and then she blew. Right in front of a baseball team of boys, the entire dining section (because Red Robin is sort of a loud place). A couple behind us could not even close their mouths, they had open mouth jaw dropping looks on their faces (older couple). Luckily it was at the end of dinner and we were able to leave the restaurant. It was not pretty. It was a candy high and then sugar drop of epic porportions. Usually LGA has been great in restaurants, but this year, if she is facing across from her sister, she kicks her she starts something and her behavior has been almost 3 yr old tantrumish. The only thing I can think of is she is emulating the kids in her special ed class. But it's very frustrating, because our once good eater, and good kid to take to a restaurant is now a nightmare to take out. You have to go over expectations and how we behave, etc. Granted this one was a sugar high, but still it was not pretty. I was pretty embarrassed.
So this week as she has continued to ask about candy, we have focused on how candy makes us behave and feel. She has gotten a piece or two, but that is it. Then yesterday we told her the candy was done. We will keep the gum as now that her caps are almost gone, we do let her chew gum. Her behavior has been a bit off due to the time change and she's tired more in the evenings and mornings. Mornings continue to be a challenge for getting her ready, till her meds kick in. I truly hate mornings at our house on the weekdays and weekends she's up at the crack of dawn. If you don't get up with her and send her back to her room to play quietly, she will get up and roam the house so one of us gets up with her, usually Dave, as he's the earlier riser (me being a night owl).
We took the girls for their 6 mos check up. BGA has gained 3 pounds and grown a couple of inches, LGA 2 pounds (but I suspect a growth spurt as she's eating more these days) and is 3 inches shorter than her sister. We had a nurse practioner, which I actually prefer, as she actually took the time to answer my questions. Usually the dr. rushes through it. But I also had Dave with me, which makes it SO much easier. LGA got her flu shot, and it was decided to give her pm ADHD booster at school. I hope this does not mean we will suffer the after effects when the med wears off, at home. Right now it's more peaceful in the pm's, and I can get homework done with LGA. I hope I will still have a window with this when she takes her med at school. But teacher insists she loses focus around 12 and needs the pm med at school. So we'll see how this works.
I'm gradually getting rid of the candy and trying to get balanced meals and snacks back in. But the behaviors with time change and Halloween have left a bit to be desired. We have had a few behaviors this week. Hoping as we ease into the colder weather (it's supposed to be upper 50's and one mid 50, this week/next week, a couple of lower 60's thrown in, so cooler) and time change that we even out a bit.
How was Halloween at your house? Happy November to you all. I'm thankful for my family this month, those who are here and those who have passed on.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Birthday Parties and Report Cards........
The girls attended a birthday party on Sunday..............let me preface that by saying the weekend started on Friday when they attended their school's fall festival. I decided right before school pick up that I would let them go. They didn't really bug me about it obsessively as they normally do. So I decided before pick up that I would let them stay. They could run around, they could do the games and we could hang out somewhere where they could run off their after school energy (with a pm ADHD med booster of course).
When I met them at school I went to the spot where LGA's class goes to the bus. The look on her face as she saw me was priceless. Pure joy. LGA has not wanted to take the bus as she knows that BGA is getting picked up by me (and no BGA can't ride the special ed bus, I checked). And she's jealous. But LGA's teacher feels it's important as the special ed day class gets their "pecking order in place" (teacher's words, not mine) that it is important to have LGA ride the bus with her classmates (some of whom live in our neighborhood, a surprising number I found). So this has caused some dissention here in the FO4 household. But it's worth it for BGA, who can de-stress and tell me about her day without her sister interrupting (which her sister likes to do just to mess with her, yes we are at that stage here). So, LGA was pleased to see mommy and even more excited when I said we'd stay for the festival.
Since my mother died, I have had some anxiety issues. I don't know where they are coming from and they truly frustrate me. Hanging out with Gwen at Nordstrom Rack outlet my reunion weekend, I noticed it. Going to the reunion I noticed it. Going to the mall I really noticed it, although going in stores that were not crowded helped. I wondered what this was. Well, hanging out with a bunch of sugar hopped up kids, running and screaming and not having had lunch (maybe that accounted for the festival anxiety but not the other times) I was feeling a bit anxious and had to go stand on the wall away from the fray. I spent a half hour in the "fray," while LGA and BGA played games. There was some confusion (when is there not with an ADHD kid who can't remember what they are supposed to do??) as to whether they had to pay for games (they had to pay for some and some were free). I had stopped to get breakfast in the am before taking my van to get a low air tire sensor looked at (ugh, it's possibly a battery but anytime there is a weather change there is a low tire sensor that comes on. I have new tires and have not run over anything, so this is frustrating) so I had a small amount of cash on me for them to use to buy tickets. But they were happy enough when I told them how many tickets they could buy and did not fight me on it.
We left when I couldn't take it anymore, which was an hour into the festival. They also did not really fight me on that (but I did promise they could play their video games when we got home). LGA did not have much sugar, but the sensory overload for her was extreme. We decided to go to dinner after Dave got home and it's getting increasingly hard to take LGA out for dinner these days. She bugs her sister by kicking her under the table, she gets defiant and loud. It has been making for a very unpleasant dining experience for us. We have had some special events this month so have been out for dinner more than we normally would. Except for a couple of times where we go over expectations, and she gets it, it has not been fun. So Friday night until we finally got her calm, it was very embarrasing around other diners. An older couple didn't linger, they just left. I notice if we come into a restaurant (or if they know us as in our local Denneys where we have gone a couple of times a month for breakfast or dinner, or I have met my neighborhood mom there, they always speak to the girls and don't seat us in back unless we request it) and LGA is loud, they will seat us in the back. Fine with me, less chance of diners having to listen to LGA.
Saturday we needed to get a birthday gift for the birthday boy whose party we had been invited to. Now the birthday boy we have met a couple of times. His mother sells jewelry that I have bought, and she's a sweet gal (I think in her 20's). She's married and I have met her husband. She has her son, her baby boy (2 yrs I think, but this kid slays me, he is such a cutie) and her step son. She has a brother who I know as well. Her mother is my age and a friend of my friend Kim. We have all gotten together and they are a great family. So we were invited to A's bday party. The girls got to wear their costumes (I'll reveal their choices after Halloween and report on Trick or Treating).
So we go to Old Navy, as I wanted to get a couple of long sleeved t's specifically a darker pink color that they didn't have online. I also knew that A liked Oakland Raider t's from his mom, so our first stop was there. Now it's getting also harder to take LGA to stores (she used to ride in the cart and would be fine). She doesn't ride in the cart nowadays but in a store with carts I will have her push the cart, which she loves. But ON has no carts, so I was trying to look at what's out and on clearance and find a t for the birthday boy (which I did find). I also found a couple of things I wanted to get. Our particular ON now has jewelry so the girls were busy trying to pick up stuff (which was frustrating me because I always feel people are judging me when they grab stuff). It was getting near time for the pm booster ADHD med, so they were getting a bit hyper. Of course with LGA's OCD, she was picking up earrings that were out of place and trying to find out where they went on the racks. I let her do it. But they were a bit hyper in ON. ON has toys near the registers. I have at times, let them get something but this past weekend was about A, the bday boy. We weren't shopping for toys as BGA's bday is coming up next month and Christmas is coming. So LGA threw a fit at checkout when she realized that I wasn't going to buy her any toys. I explained why we were there, etc. I tried to ignore her. Then I had BGA trying to interrupt me while I was paying.
Now this is a nasty habit they had when they came home that I thought we had worked through but now it is back in full force. I don't know if it's ADHD related. All I know is when I am at a checkout in a store, one of them will interrupt me. I ignore, they become more insistent. I say, "I need to pay please wait until I am done and then you can tell me what you want to say." They keep on. When I am on the phone I explain (and this I know all kids do but that does not make it any less frustrating) beforehand that they need to be quiet while I take a call (and in the aftermath of mom's passing I had to take many calls over the summer) and they aren't quiet, they do (LGA) everything to get my attention. When I was talking to our new friends at the bday party, they would shout my name at a distance and then try to interrupt me while I was talking. I have tried everything to stop this and don't know what to do as they just demand my attention constantly. They can be watching tv and will constantly ask me to watch what they are watching (even if I am otherwise engaged) or say, "MOMMY!! LOOK!!" several times. How do I change this behavior?? So this is what happened as I was checking out at ON. I will share the Target strategy for BGA below.
Target was our next stop and I treated them to ice-ees and hot dogs. PM boosters were given and we had semi calm behavior to get through Target. But they constantly pick up stuff so unless I have a list I am almost always distracted and even with a list I will forget something. We got the other bday gifts (A is a fan of Diary of A Wimpy Kid) and a couple of other things. But the "I wants" were epic. I had to keep explaining that we were here for some food items and for gifts for A's bday. In the checkout BGA started in on talking and asking me things. So I had her put the bags in the cart. That kept her busy. Usually LGA is off looking at something and I have to ask her to come back, but she was by the cart this time (her med kicked in and there was calm).
It's frustrating to take them places and Dave told me I should just shop on my own and not take them. You get distracted as they are constantly picking stuff up and unless you have them put hands on the cart, you are having to ask them to stay by you and to not pick stuff up. Is it an ADHD behavior? Maybe sometimes, but also a kid behavior. Just frustrating in my old age as I struggle to read off my list and remember what I came to a store for.
The birthday party on Sunday was late pm, so we had all day to lounge. The girls took baths and watched a bit of tv as there were some Halloween movies BGA wanted me to DVR. When it was time to go they put on their costumes and we went to the party.
I like these new friends. It has been awhile since we had a group of friends to hang out with and these friends are great. The mom (N - who is my age)'s older son, D, had all the decorations set up, strobe lights, skeleton figures that light up and talk and a granny figure in the bathroom that scared BGA. I don't believe she went to the bathroom the whole time we were there. These friends have not seen a full on LGA fit. They got to see one at the party. Maybe I should realize that sensory overload is hard for LGA. She started out at the Fall Festival at school and her whole weekend was just off. I had to threaten that she would not go to the party if she couldn't behave, a few times.
SO it started at the party when the girls really didn't know the kids there and it took them awhile to feel comfortable. D started the stereo music going and LGA began to dance on the carpet (it was in the family room) on her own. That's fine I just cautioned her to not get close to the tv or stereo. So all was well, the girls like the baby boy so they were playing with him a bit, and LGA found N's younger son (her age) to play with, and another young boy. In these situations LGA really leans toward BGA to guide her. BGA, however, is the birthday boy's age and once she felt comfortable with the kids (and I left her alone outside and tried not to hover. Dave was inside watching the end of the Raider game and the Giants -whoo hoo we won!!! - game) started to hang out. The boys went off and sort of left LGA on her own. This is where it gets tough. She wants to play with BGA but BGA now wants to hang with older kids. So BGA shut LGA out. I was a bit mad at this, even though I understood it. It set off a reaction in LGA. LGA began to come in the house and flop on the couch and pout, throw a fit. It got worse when they had games. They had bobbing for apples, which BGA was excellent at. LGA was in line behind BGA. She got out of line and the kid behind her and BGA, told her no cutting. That was it. LGA was done. She threw a huge fit that our friends and N's mother and sister, all saw. I tried to calm her down. I made eye contact with Dave and he finally came over to help. So I got her all talked into trying the apple bobbing, but also said if she didn't want to do it it was ok. Well.........epic fail. She gave up before the time was over and we should have left then. However, they hadn't done goodie bags or cupcakes so I didn't want to leave before that as what party is complete without the candy bar goodie bag??? They had been teased (and a few of them went for it) with the candy bar all party long. So when it became apparent that LGA could no longer hold it together (and she also had one cupcake and a cake pop) it was time to leave. The party was just getting going and the kids were dancing. BGA was ticked! I like our friends and enjoy hanging out with them, but it was hard for LGA to have a fit. I was not enjoying her throwing a fit in front of them.
We decided again to get dinner as there is a steakhouse in that town that we like and decided that would be my birthday dinner since my bday is this week and we'd be too rushed during the week. But LGA was holding a grudge against her sister and she didn't know how to process it. So, she totally misbehaved, kicked her sister (who asked first to sit next to me, which sparked another fit) hard, and was told to stop, but kept it up, screamed, and misbehaved. I know a lot of this is the fetal alcohol effects going, but it's just so frustrating. We used to have a good girl in restaurants. BGA gives up sitting next to me to keep the peace a lot of the time, because it starts when LGA does not get to sit next to me. Sometimes you can jolly her out of it, sometimes you just can't and the rest of the dinner is hard going. Finally in the end she behaved. But it was on sensory and possibly some sugar overload and not being able to let go that her sister would not hang out with her. That prompted some discussion on the way home with BGA and although LGA crashed at 9, she was promptly up at 6. Dave usually has to drag her out of bed for school. So that could be the time change as well. Time change, holidays, disappointment, all recipes for disaster.
I know now why parents of ADHD/fetal alcohol, neurological children skip things like birthday parties. It's sad but there is a lot of stuff that goes on at these events. Will they not be accepted, how to handle all the activity, not fitting in, etc. And sometimes the fall out is huge. The past couple of days, Dave who does the am routine for the girls, has struggled to get LGA to focus and get ready. Mornings have been hard. I have found some fetal alcohol groups on FB and it's been nice to read what others are going through, and if it's similar, that I can relate to it and get some support.
Dave was off yesterday and we hung out then went for a late lunch before picking up BGA from school. Her report card came yesterday. She has slipped from Proficient (grade) level to Below Grade Level. We told her we allowed for the new school and a quarter to settle in, but now she's settled, and now she needs to step it up. No awards ceremony for her this quarter. She was disappointed, but knows she needs to step it up. She told me that her book reports only needed to be a few lines then we had to sign them. I felt that her spelling was bad and made her re-do one. Then I wrote a note to the teacher telling her that BGA had tried to rush through it and that I checked her spelling. The teacher, who is older and a good teacher, specifically brought in to teach this class, according to the principal, put in the notes section that BGA must read for 40 mins a day AND write a ONE PAGE report of the book she read. So once again BGA snowed me. She told me she only needed one paragraph, which was not true. So Dave worked with her yesterday on her report and she practiced her violin. Normally Dave would work with them on homework and then they could play a video game or watch a movie with him since he's home on a Monday weekday. Not yesterday. I worked with LGA and Dave worked with BGA. BGA's teacher said she needs to do less talking in class (this is a new one, and I think related to trying to meet new friends or be accepted, she's never had this on a report card) and more focus on the teacher. Teacher did say she enjoyed having BGA in class and that she had no doubts that she would succeed in 5th grade. So off we go. I'm waiting for the parent/teacher conference.
LGA has an IEP so we just reviewed her goals. She is being exposed to the cirriculum for 3rd grade and her homework consists of a 1st grade level reading book, and some double digit add/subtract problems. We learned she has a processing disorder, so will be seeing what we need to do for that. She's still taking speech and finally a bit open to us working with her on words, etc. We will have an IEP for her in Dec and meet the 'team' then, hopefully. It's hard to get a straight story out of her as she likes to make stuff up (like saying her old speech teacher is back in this school, but I don't think that's true) so it's always challenging trying to get the true story. I have to work with her a bit to actually get what happened in any certain situation.
So, there's an update for us here at FO4. We still have Halloween and my birthday coming up and BGA's birthday next month and the start of the holidays.
I'm thinking of all of you on the east coast and hoping you are all staying safe.
When I met them at school I went to the spot where LGA's class goes to the bus. The look on her face as she saw me was priceless. Pure joy. LGA has not wanted to take the bus as she knows that BGA is getting picked up by me (and no BGA can't ride the special ed bus, I checked). And she's jealous. But LGA's teacher feels it's important as the special ed day class gets their "pecking order in place" (teacher's words, not mine) that it is important to have LGA ride the bus with her classmates (some of whom live in our neighborhood, a surprising number I found). So this has caused some dissention here in the FO4 household. But it's worth it for BGA, who can de-stress and tell me about her day without her sister interrupting (which her sister likes to do just to mess with her, yes we are at that stage here). So, LGA was pleased to see mommy and even more excited when I said we'd stay for the festival.
Since my mother died, I have had some anxiety issues. I don't know where they are coming from and they truly frustrate me. Hanging out with Gwen at Nordstrom Rack outlet my reunion weekend, I noticed it. Going to the reunion I noticed it. Going to the mall I really noticed it, although going in stores that were not crowded helped. I wondered what this was. Well, hanging out with a bunch of sugar hopped up kids, running and screaming and not having had lunch (maybe that accounted for the festival anxiety but not the other times) I was feeling a bit anxious and had to go stand on the wall away from the fray. I spent a half hour in the "fray," while LGA and BGA played games. There was some confusion (when is there not with an ADHD kid who can't remember what they are supposed to do??) as to whether they had to pay for games (they had to pay for some and some were free). I had stopped to get breakfast in the am before taking my van to get a low air tire sensor looked at (ugh, it's possibly a battery but anytime there is a weather change there is a low tire sensor that comes on. I have new tires and have not run over anything, so this is frustrating) so I had a small amount of cash on me for them to use to buy tickets. But they were happy enough when I told them how many tickets they could buy and did not fight me on it.
We left when I couldn't take it anymore, which was an hour into the festival. They also did not really fight me on that (but I did promise they could play their video games when we got home). LGA did not have much sugar, but the sensory overload for her was extreme. We decided to go to dinner after Dave got home and it's getting increasingly hard to take LGA out for dinner these days. She bugs her sister by kicking her under the table, she gets defiant and loud. It has been making for a very unpleasant dining experience for us. We have had some special events this month so have been out for dinner more than we normally would. Except for a couple of times where we go over expectations, and she gets it, it has not been fun. So Friday night until we finally got her calm, it was very embarrasing around other diners. An older couple didn't linger, they just left. I notice if we come into a restaurant (or if they know us as in our local Denneys where we have gone a couple of times a month for breakfast or dinner, or I have met my neighborhood mom there, they always speak to the girls and don't seat us in back unless we request it) and LGA is loud, they will seat us in the back. Fine with me, less chance of diners having to listen to LGA.
Saturday we needed to get a birthday gift for the birthday boy whose party we had been invited to. Now the birthday boy we have met a couple of times. His mother sells jewelry that I have bought, and she's a sweet gal (I think in her 20's). She's married and I have met her husband. She has her son, her baby boy (2 yrs I think, but this kid slays me, he is such a cutie) and her step son. She has a brother who I know as well. Her mother is my age and a friend of my friend Kim. We have all gotten together and they are a great family. So we were invited to A's bday party. The girls got to wear their costumes (I'll reveal their choices after Halloween and report on Trick or Treating).
So we go to Old Navy, as I wanted to get a couple of long sleeved t's specifically a darker pink color that they didn't have online. I also knew that A liked Oakland Raider t's from his mom, so our first stop was there. Now it's getting also harder to take LGA to stores (she used to ride in the cart and would be fine). She doesn't ride in the cart nowadays but in a store with carts I will have her push the cart, which she loves. But ON has no carts, so I was trying to look at what's out and on clearance and find a t for the birthday boy (which I did find). I also found a couple of things I wanted to get. Our particular ON now has jewelry so the girls were busy trying to pick up stuff (which was frustrating me because I always feel people are judging me when they grab stuff). It was getting near time for the pm booster ADHD med, so they were getting a bit hyper. Of course with LGA's OCD, she was picking up earrings that were out of place and trying to find out where they went on the racks. I let her do it. But they were a bit hyper in ON. ON has toys near the registers. I have at times, let them get something but this past weekend was about A, the bday boy. We weren't shopping for toys as BGA's bday is coming up next month and Christmas is coming. So LGA threw a fit at checkout when she realized that I wasn't going to buy her any toys. I explained why we were there, etc. I tried to ignore her. Then I had BGA trying to interrupt me while I was paying.
Now this is a nasty habit they had when they came home that I thought we had worked through but now it is back in full force. I don't know if it's ADHD related. All I know is when I am at a checkout in a store, one of them will interrupt me. I ignore, they become more insistent. I say, "I need to pay please wait until I am done and then you can tell me what you want to say." They keep on. When I am on the phone I explain (and this I know all kids do but that does not make it any less frustrating) beforehand that they need to be quiet while I take a call (and in the aftermath of mom's passing I had to take many calls over the summer) and they aren't quiet, they do (LGA) everything to get my attention. When I was talking to our new friends at the bday party, they would shout my name at a distance and then try to interrupt me while I was talking. I have tried everything to stop this and don't know what to do as they just demand my attention constantly. They can be watching tv and will constantly ask me to watch what they are watching (even if I am otherwise engaged) or say, "MOMMY!! LOOK!!" several times. How do I change this behavior?? So this is what happened as I was checking out at ON. I will share the Target strategy for BGA below.
Target was our next stop and I treated them to ice-ees and hot dogs. PM boosters were given and we had semi calm behavior to get through Target. But they constantly pick up stuff so unless I have a list I am almost always distracted and even with a list I will forget something. We got the other bday gifts (A is a fan of Diary of A Wimpy Kid) and a couple of other things. But the "I wants" were epic. I had to keep explaining that we were here for some food items and for gifts for A's bday. In the checkout BGA started in on talking and asking me things. So I had her put the bags in the cart. That kept her busy. Usually LGA is off looking at something and I have to ask her to come back, but she was by the cart this time (her med kicked in and there was calm).
It's frustrating to take them places and Dave told me I should just shop on my own and not take them. You get distracted as they are constantly picking stuff up and unless you have them put hands on the cart, you are having to ask them to stay by you and to not pick stuff up. Is it an ADHD behavior? Maybe sometimes, but also a kid behavior. Just frustrating in my old age as I struggle to read off my list and remember what I came to a store for.
The birthday party on Sunday was late pm, so we had all day to lounge. The girls took baths and watched a bit of tv as there were some Halloween movies BGA wanted me to DVR. When it was time to go they put on their costumes and we went to the party.
I like these new friends. It has been awhile since we had a group of friends to hang out with and these friends are great. The mom (N - who is my age)'s older son, D, had all the decorations set up, strobe lights, skeleton figures that light up and talk and a granny figure in the bathroom that scared BGA. I don't believe she went to the bathroom the whole time we were there. These friends have not seen a full on LGA fit. They got to see one at the party. Maybe I should realize that sensory overload is hard for LGA. She started out at the Fall Festival at school and her whole weekend was just off. I had to threaten that she would not go to the party if she couldn't behave, a few times.
SO it started at the party when the girls really didn't know the kids there and it took them awhile to feel comfortable. D started the stereo music going and LGA began to dance on the carpet (it was in the family room) on her own. That's fine I just cautioned her to not get close to the tv or stereo. So all was well, the girls like the baby boy so they were playing with him a bit, and LGA found N's younger son (her age) to play with, and another young boy. In these situations LGA really leans toward BGA to guide her. BGA, however, is the birthday boy's age and once she felt comfortable with the kids (and I left her alone outside and tried not to hover. Dave was inside watching the end of the Raider game and the Giants -whoo hoo we won!!! - game) started to hang out. The boys went off and sort of left LGA on her own. This is where it gets tough. She wants to play with BGA but BGA now wants to hang with older kids. So BGA shut LGA out. I was a bit mad at this, even though I understood it. It set off a reaction in LGA. LGA began to come in the house and flop on the couch and pout, throw a fit. It got worse when they had games. They had bobbing for apples, which BGA was excellent at. LGA was in line behind BGA. She got out of line and the kid behind her and BGA, told her no cutting. That was it. LGA was done. She threw a huge fit that our friends and N's mother and sister, all saw. I tried to calm her down. I made eye contact with Dave and he finally came over to help. So I got her all talked into trying the apple bobbing, but also said if she didn't want to do it it was ok. Well.........epic fail. She gave up before the time was over and we should have left then. However, they hadn't done goodie bags or cupcakes so I didn't want to leave before that as what party is complete without the candy bar goodie bag??? They had been teased (and a few of them went for it) with the candy bar all party long. So when it became apparent that LGA could no longer hold it together (and she also had one cupcake and a cake pop) it was time to leave. The party was just getting going and the kids were dancing. BGA was ticked! I like our friends and enjoy hanging out with them, but it was hard for LGA to have a fit. I was not enjoying her throwing a fit in front of them.
We decided again to get dinner as there is a steakhouse in that town that we like and decided that would be my birthday dinner since my bday is this week and we'd be too rushed during the week. But LGA was holding a grudge against her sister and she didn't know how to process it. So, she totally misbehaved, kicked her sister (who asked first to sit next to me, which sparked another fit) hard, and was told to stop, but kept it up, screamed, and misbehaved. I know a lot of this is the fetal alcohol effects going, but it's just so frustrating. We used to have a good girl in restaurants. BGA gives up sitting next to me to keep the peace a lot of the time, because it starts when LGA does not get to sit next to me. Sometimes you can jolly her out of it, sometimes you just can't and the rest of the dinner is hard going. Finally in the end she behaved. But it was on sensory and possibly some sugar overload and not being able to let go that her sister would not hang out with her. That prompted some discussion on the way home with BGA and although LGA crashed at 9, she was promptly up at 6. Dave usually has to drag her out of bed for school. So that could be the time change as well. Time change, holidays, disappointment, all recipes for disaster.
I know now why parents of ADHD/fetal alcohol, neurological children skip things like birthday parties. It's sad but there is a lot of stuff that goes on at these events. Will they not be accepted, how to handle all the activity, not fitting in, etc. And sometimes the fall out is huge. The past couple of days, Dave who does the am routine for the girls, has struggled to get LGA to focus and get ready. Mornings have been hard. I have found some fetal alcohol groups on FB and it's been nice to read what others are going through, and if it's similar, that I can relate to it and get some support.
Dave was off yesterday and we hung out then went for a late lunch before picking up BGA from school. Her report card came yesterday. She has slipped from Proficient (grade) level to Below Grade Level. We told her we allowed for the new school and a quarter to settle in, but now she's settled, and now she needs to step it up. No awards ceremony for her this quarter. She was disappointed, but knows she needs to step it up. She told me that her book reports only needed to be a few lines then we had to sign them. I felt that her spelling was bad and made her re-do one. Then I wrote a note to the teacher telling her that BGA had tried to rush through it and that I checked her spelling. The teacher, who is older and a good teacher, specifically brought in to teach this class, according to the principal, put in the notes section that BGA must read for 40 mins a day AND write a ONE PAGE report of the book she read. So once again BGA snowed me. She told me she only needed one paragraph, which was not true. So Dave worked with her yesterday on her report and she practiced her violin. Normally Dave would work with them on homework and then they could play a video game or watch a movie with him since he's home on a Monday weekday. Not yesterday. I worked with LGA and Dave worked with BGA. BGA's teacher said she needs to do less talking in class (this is a new one, and I think related to trying to meet new friends or be accepted, she's never had this on a report card) and more focus on the teacher. Teacher did say she enjoyed having BGA in class and that she had no doubts that she would succeed in 5th grade. So off we go. I'm waiting for the parent/teacher conference.
LGA has an IEP so we just reviewed her goals. She is being exposed to the cirriculum for 3rd grade and her homework consists of a 1st grade level reading book, and some double digit add/subtract problems. We learned she has a processing disorder, so will be seeing what we need to do for that. She's still taking speech and finally a bit open to us working with her on words, etc. We will have an IEP for her in Dec and meet the 'team' then, hopefully. It's hard to get a straight story out of her as she likes to make stuff up (like saying her old speech teacher is back in this school, but I don't think that's true) so it's always challenging trying to get the true story. I have to work with her a bit to actually get what happened in any certain situation.
So, there's an update for us here at FO4. We still have Halloween and my birthday coming up and BGA's birthday next month and the start of the holidays.
I'm thinking of all of you on the east coast and hoping you are all staying safe.
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