Friday, July 20, 2012


How is your summer going?  Ours is quiet as I stated.  We have done some local things, but mainly I have had two separate summer experiences.

The first one was with BGA, having a month together with her.  It was a good month, and she's grown so much, she's becoming 'tweenish' and wanting to have more 'older' kid stuff than her sister has, picking her own clothes (I know most people let their kids pick their own clothes but this just has never worked for us, so I pick two choices then she picks which one she wants), staying up later (this has not worked for us either because all LGA does is lay in her room awake, calling out and waiting for her sister to come to bed) and picking from the adult menu (although she can't eat off the adult menu) because some menus say kids 12 and under or one said 8 and under.  She's asserting some independence and it's nice to see her grow a bit.  It's nice to see her get how her behavior affects her sister and how not to fall into the trap of letting her sister bug her.  I feel sometimes she doesn't always get what she needs because LGA's needs take more effort on our part to parent her.

Speaking of LGA, she has not made the transition well from summer school to summer vacation.  I'm being challenged every day by her and she's spent some time playing in her room because I can't take the constant fighting with each other, the constant jealousy and tattling. The girls cannot play together without fighting, and BGA's newest thing is to tell her sister, "Go away and leave me alone" which only makes her sister want to egg her on even more.  So now we're having to get into a summer groove and transition and then it will be time to transition back to school.  Hopefully LGA can get in the groove now that it's been a week since she's been out of school.

People say that they give their kids the summer off, but really for LGA we all needed the break and she needed the structure.  I'm sorry if that offends anyone but really it's very hard to parent her some days and having a summer school break was good not only for BGA and I to spend some time together that she very much wanted and needed, it was good for LGA to have some extra learning time so as not to forget it once school starts.  This will help her and one of the teachers was one of her former special ed teachers at her old school so it was not hard to transition back into school.  She actually asked Dave this week if she was going to go to school, "Am I going to school today daddy?" So I think it was good for her and she will be going each summer.  We didn't go before now as our school didn't offer summer school and the program specialist we are assigned to for the Special Ed dept never told us we could sign her up for another school and have her bussed. 

I'm not feeling the energy I would normally feel.  I know it will come back, but I don't feel it. I don't want to do anything which probably makes it hard on the girls as they are hyper vigilant about things so are probably sensing my sadness and have seen me cry.  So pretty low key non active summer for the most part.  But that's ok.  I'm not gonna stress about it, I'm just taking one day at a time. 

I have some ideas for moving forward and when I'm ready I'll put them in place.  Ideas I have had are wanting a therapy dog to go to schools and also assisted living facilities (yes, I know we just added a dog, yet, she was presented as a therapy dog but is too hyper, licks and jumps.  So I didn't realize it when we adopted her.  She's sweet but not what I need in a therapy dog).  Some have felt this isn't an option I should pick, but it's something I would very much like to do.  My other option is to spend more time beading and open an Etsy shop to sell jewelry. I would like to do this also but never felt I could start because I didn't know how my mom would be healthwise, and didn't want to start a project like that when I didn't know where she would be healthwise.  Another option is a therapy dog for LGA, I have found that it would be an option for her, if we chose to have one. She would qualify, which I never thought she would.  I may still go around to volunteer at Assisted Living facilities when the girls go back to school.  I am missing the senior connection and would like to possibly connect with a senior who has no family, etc.  Again these are ideas I have thought about, we'll see when I am ready to put them in action.  I am surrendering to the grieving process, allowing myself to feel it and grieve and move to the next day.  I'm not wallowing, but I am just letting it happen and moving on.  It's like the person who gave me life, who was my best friend and always there for me, is gone.  I never imagined how I would feel when she was gone, and the rest of my immediate family was gone (triple whammy) leaving me on my own for the most part (although my family has been supporting me).  So it's a lot to get through but the light is at the end of the tunnel and life goes on. I will come out on the other side.  :-)

On a lighter note, I have started to read on Dave's basic Kindle that he purchased a couple of years ago (he has since upgraded to Kindle Fire that he got for xmas).  And I read a book he and my friend Kim recommended, "$#*% My Dad Says" (those might not be the correct symbols, but you get the drift). I enjoyed the tv show with William Shatner and the book was very funny.  It was nice to get back into reading, so now I'm ready for the next download on the Kindle. I have always been a reader but when the girls came home I just didn't really do much of it.  Each summer I attempt it and read one or two books then lose interest over the fall/winter/spring.  Trying to see if I can re-kindle (so to speak, LOL) my love of reading.

We celebrated National Ice Cream Day on Sunday, so attached are some pics of us all in Super Hero t'shirts.   I am growing my hair out again and am in bad need of color and cut.  I am hoping to add the highlights back, in August.  So, a no makeup (except lipstick) day, and hair not super styled.  The girls loved their Old Navy Wonder Woman t's.  :-)

This is how Olliepop is spending the summer

She always has a sweet smile

Bad shot of me, but that's what you get for no make up sunday

She's growing up, I can't believe she's 8

Takes my breath away sometimes, she's growing up so much.  She looks so different from the 6 yr old girl who came to live with us.

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