BGA cannot find her violin. According to another student they saw an older boy put a violin in his backpack. So not sure if I should call the school and leave another msg for the principal or not. The principal did not bother to call me back.
Also, BGA was invited to a birthday party tomorrow by her friend A, who if you read the background here, know that she knew A in her other school, A moved in the 3rd grade and the girls became reaquainted with each other this year at this school. But as is often the case, there is one girl who puts a wrench in everything. S has been A's friend since A came to the school and now BGA comes and A wants to be friends with BGA, but S doesn't. So, A cancelled her bday party which was supposed to be on Wed. Then she came back and said the party was on for tomorrow. Well, S told BGA that it was off yesterday. But it was never off. BGA, not being up on these things (as she gets few birthday invites, the schools around here are just not like that) didn't think to ask A if the party was off so she came home and said the party was off. Then when I picked her up today she found out that the party is back on. Why are girls SO mean. This S girl looks mean and you know she is when the teacher even said when told of their issues in the beginning of the year, "she needs to be knocked down a few notches." I'm just glad BGA thought to ask A if her party was on.
I'm a bit nervous as I'm not sure of the dynamic at A's house, knowing only her mother has a boyfriend, and A does not like him, and that the grandparents live with them. Boyfriend is supposedly not going to be around. I guess I just have to trust all will be well. I gave the spiel to BGA that if something doesn't feel right she is to call us and we will come pick her up, etc. Then of course LGA did not get invited so now we have her disappointment at being left behind, to deal with and to find something she can do also. I am hoping that S and BGA can get along too, and that there isn't any drama or fights. A is a very sweet, quiet young girl and I like her a lot. This is the 2nd friend that BGA has become friends with, so I hope they can last as friends. The only reason the first one didn't is we switched schools, and didn't get the other girl's info so we could arrange a play date.
So wish us luck this weekend............and to figure out what kind of insurance we have on the violin. Ugh. I don't understand why things happen to BGA, glasses get ruined, violin is stolen, etc.
Friday, February 22, 2013
Whew, what a short week!
Wow, it was a short week, but it was a long week..anyone ever have that when you have a holiday week?
We sure did. The girls always have a hard time when one of us is gone, I think I have mentioned it on this blog and the old one, before. They just want us all together, where we are supposed to be. I think it has a lot to do with what they experienced earlier in their lives before they came to us, and I understand it completely.
In the past BGA would be the one who would need to 'decompress' and come down from the emotions she felt while one of us was gone (usually me). There would be acting out, there would be her mad at me, etc. But this time it was LGA. She has become a huge mommy's girl since my mother passed away. If you were to delve into it, I am sure it would be obvious that she's afraid of mommy leaving like my mother did. So I have done a lot of reassurance, and usually at bedtime, there will be a few "mommy you still there? mommy I love you!" (we have a very small house so you can hear everything in it) before she settles into sleep. BGA seemed fine this time, no acting out, no being mad at me, just happiness that I was back, a few more hugs and kisses than I usually get (and these girls have always given hugs and kisses, I will miss that when they are teens and don't want to appear unpopular to hug or kiss mom) and wanting to talk to me. I really wish I could have taken BGA on the trip with me but that would not have been fair to LGA, so BGA stayed behind (and probably easier on my family, as she can be a bit loud and hyper and there were no other kids there).
So, LGA was the one acting out a bit, it started on Monday when I got home and we went to dinner. LGA gets upset if she can't sit by me. She will act out at dinner and somehow convince her sister to give up her seat next to me because she throws a fit or becomes loud. I don't give or let BGA give in because I don't want LGA thinking she can get her way by doing this, but sometimes I do let BGA give in because she never did it before. I think it shows she's come a long way. So, we managed to have a table where we could all sort of sit next to each other. That always works out good. Lately, what really has made me happy is the girls will let Dave and I sit together. They will say, "Mommy you and Daddy sit together." I love when they do this because I get to sit next to Dave and I enjoy that. Plus the girls are having to sit side by side and make it work. No fighting, no sitting across from each other and trying to kick each other. So LGA said, "I sit by MOMMY. I am going to sit by her." She did for the most part as Dave and I sat together and BGA sat across from us, LGA to my right. But of course she was coming down from holding it all in over the weekend. In our case, the girls have gotten used to getting through when one of us is gone and then when we get back, they feel comfortable letting it out. Even if they have stayed with someone else and come home. They have felt comfortable, but they have needed to process the emotions of us/them being away. Luckily I am used to this and I know what I need to do to comfort them and reassure them, and each time gets easier, as BGA now needs very little time to process her emotions..........but now LGA is experiencing it, as she goes where BGA goes and follows what BGA experiences.
Tuesday when LGA got home from Girl Scouts where she informed me that she didn't want to go, that she wanted to come home and be with me. We had double digit carryover math, which is hard for her and she's struggling, but the teacher is telling me that she is doing it, and she threw a fit. But, Mommy expected it and I was able to head her off before it got fully in gear. But I knew (whereas the teacher seems to be surprised at this, which makes me wonder if she has any trauma experience) that she would need to do this, so I prepared myself that it would be a hard week. Maybe because I had a break and weekend to recharge, but I found myself calm. I found myself not wanting to be frustrated with the behavior but to stop it before it got fully started. We got the math done, but she was obviously on overload.
Let's recap, while I was gone, on Friday, LGA's friend M (who is autistic), told her (and FASD kids tend to go along with what someone tells them to do) to throw food. She did. She got in trouble. The weekend with mommy gone, the emotions of mommy being gone, being home where there was no set routine and Daddy and girls did what they wanted, but no routine. Then school and having to go back after not fully dealing with her emotions. M says to throw food and LGA initiates it this time and gets lunch recess for the rest of the week. She is upset, she doesn't want lunch recess taken away, and she comes home on Tuesday after Girl Scouts, in a bad mood. Add the math in there that she is struggling with and emotions were high. She knows mommy will be disappointed in the food throwing incident and knows that her teacher wrote mommy two notes. We talk about how we should not throw food, or do things that others tell us to, if we know it will get us in trouble. She calms easily.
The teacher writes me a note telling me that they asked LGA to write the class rules...........for an HOUR. Now, I don't know how they thought that my child who is FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder for those of you who don't know the abbreviation) and ADHD, with hyperactive behavior, to sit still and write the rules for an hour. She only wrote one paragraph. Well, I decide to write a note back, and I can say it was a bit sarcastic but I did say I wasn't trying to be sarcastic, in my note. I told the teacher that I wondered how she could get LGA to sit still for an hour, because it has not been my experience, as her mother, that she can sit still for an hour (well she can if it's something that interests her, but what kid will sit still when they know they have gotten in trouble and are upset). I said I expected a half hour would be appropriate. I asked if it was pre afternoon meds, because if she hadn't had them, she would not sit still. I asked what the outcome was since the teacher wrote that it was "unacceptable behavior." Um, ok...........what did you expect??? (I did not write that but I WAS thinking it) I did not get an answer back. SO, LGA struggled a bit, and came home with a few tantrums she wanted to start, and which I had to head off before they got bad. I wrote the teacher a note and explained that double digit math with carryover was hard and she was fighting me on it. Teacher did write a note back yesterday saying she didn't want her to fight it and if it became a problem she would work with her at school. And the homework came home yesterday with double digit math and no carryover, so once I convinced LGA no carryover she was ok. But she has to add with a number chart, unless the numbers can be added on two hands or she has memorized what the numbers are, added together (which she does do).
The good part of her week was when she read me a story. It was a first grade level story and about animals on safari, but she was able to read elephant, giraffe, lion, rhino and she had a hard time pronouncing, but she tried and got it pretty well, safari. I try to think when I pronounce a word, where she will get stuck, and try to have her watch my mouth and she will do what I do. But she likes to read, and she's making progress and she likes to read to me. I'm happy about that as BGA is not much of a reader and feels that she has to do it, she will very rarely read just to read, but LGA wants to. Once she gets it, she will try harder. She was able to remember what the words were on the next page when they were repeated and could sound them out. Some were harder and we worked on them together, but she was willing. Last year, she was not willing. This is the first full year in Special Ed Day class and I have to say it's really been good for her. I wish we'd done it in kinder.
BGA had a rough week too, but we're hoping it ends well. Her violin was missing when she went to go play it on Wednesday. We looked here at home and didn't find it, talked to the teacher and left the principal a msg because BGA felt it was stolen. However, we think after talking to the teacher, who thinks that BGA is very responsible with it in class and the teacher has them lock them away in a cabinet during school, that she probably left it out last week. So she has to go see if she can find it today. Both the violin and the bow are missing. So we had to explain that she needs to be more careful with it and remember to put it away after playing. We are renting and we have insurance, but still...........
The good that came out of that conversation with the teacher? The teacher feels BGA should go into the magnet program at the school next year. She is a bit dramatic (the teacher) and said, "She needs to go into this program or she will not make it!" Wow. Ok. Well, I appreciate the honesty (teacher has a very difficult class, but the good thing is BGA has not been in with the troubled/acting out kids this year and that makes us very happy). We were told we could not get her into magnet as her grades were not good enough, Teacher says that is not the case and she will help us get her into the program next year. Definite positives. BGA has been extra loving coming for hugs and snuggling with me since I have been back. But she's also been giving her dad hugs too. I'm happy to see this. I know we will probably face some challenges with her when she hits her teens, but I am happy to see that she is thriving even if her homework on her report card came back as a U and her math slipped. She has made some growth mentally and I like seeing that. Someone once told me that for however long the child was with BP (BGA left her BP when she was 5) it takes that much longer for them to move past that stage and bond. It has been almost 5 yrs that we have had the girls and I am seeing some very positive growth. I know there is more work to be done with her and that we are behind in some areas, but it is nice after almost 5 yrs, to see some positive growth.
We still have a cat with urinary issues after two rounds of antibiotics. We changed to a different food and restricted her eating the dogs' food (she will eat the dogs' food even if she has her own) and changed to a higher fiber food as the vet felt she could lose some weight and this would make her poop more instead of holding on to it. Well, she has lost some weight, but she still has urinary issues so now we are facing buying more expensive food for her, and she keeps running to the litter box, every half hour. So back to the antibiotics, but she doesn't even fight them now, she just lets us give them to her (before she fought us and we had to wrap her in a towel to give it to her). I feel bad, but I am really regretting getting this cat. I have never felt that way about a cat before, but....this one was semi feral (don't ever get a semi feral cat with kids) and while she has come a long way, she still bites when she is mad, scratches if she doesn't like what the girls are doing, and peed on my bed, 2x, my footstool for the living room chair and squatted on the seat of the family room chair. Luckily we caught it and I could wash the cushions (and have deep clean/sanitize on my washer settings). We have to keep her in the bathroom because of this urinary infection as I'm afraid she will pee the bed again(or anywhere else if she can't make it to the box), with her litter box and a bed, food/water. She hates it but it takes an hour on that washer setting and if I have to wash all my bedding it's a pain. I didn't really want another cat and neither did Dave, after both of us having grown up with cats, but the girls LOVE LOVE LOVE cats. I hate doing the litterbox (finally switched to a low dust litter, as I am allergic to dust) but Dave did it for the other cats for 9 or 10 yrs and he hated doing it. He swore he would not do it again. We swore no more cats. Then I saw this sweet calico face on Petfinder and we went to "look" (yeah right, who just looks??) and came home with psycho kitten. She's loving when she wants to be, will lick your nose and purr and wrap her body around you when you are standing, but is NOT a lap cat, nor does she like to be held. She will sometimes lay next to you while you watch tv. But now, with having to keep her in the bathroom during the night and when we are gone, she is going back to not being friendly again. It took her a long time to become friendly, almost like bonding and attachment. So, I am torn. I would like to place her in another home, as it's just too much for me to want to handle, but the girls get upset everytime it's mentioned (it was only initially mentioned when the vet claimed he could find nothing wrong with her and she was peeing out of spite so we said, 'nope not gonna have that' and mentioned she might need a new home). LGA's teacher came and talked to me one day and asked if the cat was going away because LGA was upset. So I'm torn. I've never given a cat away in this situation, but I'm tired of getting bitten (and she mostly bites me) and I'm tired of taking care of her. I know those cat lovers out there will be mad, but really, we are now on our 2nd food change, and if this doesn't cure her on this round of antibiotics, I just don't know.
Add to that, our leak, which I think is in several places in addition to LGA's room. Our insurance said without any damage, it will be up to us to pay for it. It could be a huge leak and we could have a real high bill. So, feeling a bit anxious on that. LGA originally had a crack in her concrete (which we did not know about) 4 yrs ago so that's why the water came through the carpet but there is no water damage this time, so we will have to pay to fix it. Evidently a few people have had water damages in this complex because I remember the class action suit we were a part of (and got only a small amt as we had not had any issues come up at that point) they wrote in the suit that people complained of water damage. Now we know what that means, the 2nd leak in 4 yrs. Same time frame we had the leak 4 yrs ago, as well. We think it's a hot water line leak as LGA's room is warm, like it was 4 yrs ago.
Cars also have issues, so we have a few things to take care of. When it rains, it seems to pour. But the sun is out and there is a good weekend (albeit quiet for the most part) in store for us. And the girls finished the week on positive notes, so what more could you ask for? Enjoy your weekend, blog readers. :-)
We sure did. The girls always have a hard time when one of us is gone, I think I have mentioned it on this blog and the old one, before. They just want us all together, where we are supposed to be. I think it has a lot to do with what they experienced earlier in their lives before they came to us, and I understand it completely.
In the past BGA would be the one who would need to 'decompress' and come down from the emotions she felt while one of us was gone (usually me). There would be acting out, there would be her mad at me, etc. But this time it was LGA. She has become a huge mommy's girl since my mother passed away. If you were to delve into it, I am sure it would be obvious that she's afraid of mommy leaving like my mother did. So I have done a lot of reassurance, and usually at bedtime, there will be a few "mommy you still there? mommy I love you!" (we have a very small house so you can hear everything in it) before she settles into sleep. BGA seemed fine this time, no acting out, no being mad at me, just happiness that I was back, a few more hugs and kisses than I usually get (and these girls have always given hugs and kisses, I will miss that when they are teens and don't want to appear unpopular to hug or kiss mom) and wanting to talk to me. I really wish I could have taken BGA on the trip with me but that would not have been fair to LGA, so BGA stayed behind (and probably easier on my family, as she can be a bit loud and hyper and there were no other kids there).
So, LGA was the one acting out a bit, it started on Monday when I got home and we went to dinner. LGA gets upset if she can't sit by me. She will act out at dinner and somehow convince her sister to give up her seat next to me because she throws a fit or becomes loud. I don't give or let BGA give in because I don't want LGA thinking she can get her way by doing this, but sometimes I do let BGA give in because she never did it before. I think it shows she's come a long way. So, we managed to have a table where we could all sort of sit next to each other. That always works out good. Lately, what really has made me happy is the girls will let Dave and I sit together. They will say, "Mommy you and Daddy sit together." I love when they do this because I get to sit next to Dave and I enjoy that. Plus the girls are having to sit side by side and make it work. No fighting, no sitting across from each other and trying to kick each other. So LGA said, "I sit by MOMMY. I am going to sit by her." She did for the most part as Dave and I sat together and BGA sat across from us, LGA to my right. But of course she was coming down from holding it all in over the weekend. In our case, the girls have gotten used to getting through when one of us is gone and then when we get back, they feel comfortable letting it out. Even if they have stayed with someone else and come home. They have felt comfortable, but they have needed to process the emotions of us/them being away. Luckily I am used to this and I know what I need to do to comfort them and reassure them, and each time gets easier, as BGA now needs very little time to process her emotions..........but now LGA is experiencing it, as she goes where BGA goes and follows what BGA experiences.
Tuesday when LGA got home from Girl Scouts where she informed me that she didn't want to go, that she wanted to come home and be with me. We had double digit carryover math, which is hard for her and she's struggling, but the teacher is telling me that she is doing it, and she threw a fit. But, Mommy expected it and I was able to head her off before it got fully in gear. But I knew (whereas the teacher seems to be surprised at this, which makes me wonder if she has any trauma experience) that she would need to do this, so I prepared myself that it would be a hard week. Maybe because I had a break and weekend to recharge, but I found myself calm. I found myself not wanting to be frustrated with the behavior but to stop it before it got fully started. We got the math done, but she was obviously on overload.
Let's recap, while I was gone, on Friday, LGA's friend M (who is autistic), told her (and FASD kids tend to go along with what someone tells them to do) to throw food. She did. She got in trouble. The weekend with mommy gone, the emotions of mommy being gone, being home where there was no set routine and Daddy and girls did what they wanted, but no routine. Then school and having to go back after not fully dealing with her emotions. M says to throw food and LGA initiates it this time and gets lunch recess for the rest of the week. She is upset, she doesn't want lunch recess taken away, and she comes home on Tuesday after Girl Scouts, in a bad mood. Add the math in there that she is struggling with and emotions were high. She knows mommy will be disappointed in the food throwing incident and knows that her teacher wrote mommy two notes. We talk about how we should not throw food, or do things that others tell us to, if we know it will get us in trouble. She calms easily.
The teacher writes me a note telling me that they asked LGA to write the class rules...........for an HOUR. Now, I don't know how they thought that my child who is FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder for those of you who don't know the abbreviation) and ADHD, with hyperactive behavior, to sit still and write the rules for an hour. She only wrote one paragraph. Well, I decide to write a note back, and I can say it was a bit sarcastic but I did say I wasn't trying to be sarcastic, in my note. I told the teacher that I wondered how she could get LGA to sit still for an hour, because it has not been my experience, as her mother, that she can sit still for an hour (well she can if it's something that interests her, but what kid will sit still when they know they have gotten in trouble and are upset). I said I expected a half hour would be appropriate. I asked if it was pre afternoon meds, because if she hadn't had them, she would not sit still. I asked what the outcome was since the teacher wrote that it was "unacceptable behavior." Um, ok...........what did you expect??? (I did not write that but I WAS thinking it) I did not get an answer back. SO, LGA struggled a bit, and came home with a few tantrums she wanted to start, and which I had to head off before they got bad. I wrote the teacher a note and explained that double digit math with carryover was hard and she was fighting me on it. Teacher did write a note back yesterday saying she didn't want her to fight it and if it became a problem she would work with her at school. And the homework came home yesterday with double digit math and no carryover, so once I convinced LGA no carryover she was ok. But she has to add with a number chart, unless the numbers can be added on two hands or she has memorized what the numbers are, added together (which she does do).
The good part of her week was when she read me a story. It was a first grade level story and about animals on safari, but she was able to read elephant, giraffe, lion, rhino and she had a hard time pronouncing, but she tried and got it pretty well, safari. I try to think when I pronounce a word, where she will get stuck, and try to have her watch my mouth and she will do what I do. But she likes to read, and she's making progress and she likes to read to me. I'm happy about that as BGA is not much of a reader and feels that she has to do it, she will very rarely read just to read, but LGA wants to. Once she gets it, she will try harder. She was able to remember what the words were on the next page when they were repeated and could sound them out. Some were harder and we worked on them together, but she was willing. Last year, she was not willing. This is the first full year in Special Ed Day class and I have to say it's really been good for her. I wish we'd done it in kinder.
BGA had a rough week too, but we're hoping it ends well. Her violin was missing when she went to go play it on Wednesday. We looked here at home and didn't find it, talked to the teacher and left the principal a msg because BGA felt it was stolen. However, we think after talking to the teacher, who thinks that BGA is very responsible with it in class and the teacher has them lock them away in a cabinet during school, that she probably left it out last week. So she has to go see if she can find it today. Both the violin and the bow are missing. So we had to explain that she needs to be more careful with it and remember to put it away after playing. We are renting and we have insurance, but still...........
The good that came out of that conversation with the teacher? The teacher feels BGA should go into the magnet program at the school next year. She is a bit dramatic (the teacher) and said, "She needs to go into this program or she will not make it!" Wow. Ok. Well, I appreciate the honesty (teacher has a very difficult class, but the good thing is BGA has not been in with the troubled/acting out kids this year and that makes us very happy). We were told we could not get her into magnet as her grades were not good enough, Teacher says that is not the case and she will help us get her into the program next year. Definite positives. BGA has been extra loving coming for hugs and snuggling with me since I have been back. But she's also been giving her dad hugs too. I'm happy to see this. I know we will probably face some challenges with her when she hits her teens, but I am happy to see that she is thriving even if her homework on her report card came back as a U and her math slipped. She has made some growth mentally and I like seeing that. Someone once told me that for however long the child was with BP (BGA left her BP when she was 5) it takes that much longer for them to move past that stage and bond. It has been almost 5 yrs that we have had the girls and I am seeing some very positive growth. I know there is more work to be done with her and that we are behind in some areas, but it is nice after almost 5 yrs, to see some positive growth.
We still have a cat with urinary issues after two rounds of antibiotics. We changed to a different food and restricted her eating the dogs' food (she will eat the dogs' food even if she has her own) and changed to a higher fiber food as the vet felt she could lose some weight and this would make her poop more instead of holding on to it. Well, she has lost some weight, but she still has urinary issues so now we are facing buying more expensive food for her, and she keeps running to the litter box, every half hour. So back to the antibiotics, but she doesn't even fight them now, she just lets us give them to her (before she fought us and we had to wrap her in a towel to give it to her). I feel bad, but I am really regretting getting this cat. I have never felt that way about a cat before, but....this one was semi feral (don't ever get a semi feral cat with kids) and while she has come a long way, she still bites when she is mad, scratches if she doesn't like what the girls are doing, and peed on my bed, 2x, my footstool for the living room chair and squatted on the seat of the family room chair. Luckily we caught it and I could wash the cushions (and have deep clean/sanitize on my washer settings). We have to keep her in the bathroom because of this urinary infection as I'm afraid she will pee the bed again(or anywhere else if she can't make it to the box), with her litter box and a bed, food/water. She hates it but it takes an hour on that washer setting and if I have to wash all my bedding it's a pain. I didn't really want another cat and neither did Dave, after both of us having grown up with cats, but the girls LOVE LOVE LOVE cats. I hate doing the litterbox (finally switched to a low dust litter, as I am allergic to dust) but Dave did it for the other cats for 9 or 10 yrs and he hated doing it. He swore he would not do it again. We swore no more cats. Then I saw this sweet calico face on Petfinder and we went to "look" (yeah right, who just looks??) and came home with psycho kitten. She's loving when she wants to be, will lick your nose and purr and wrap her body around you when you are standing, but is NOT a lap cat, nor does she like to be held. She will sometimes lay next to you while you watch tv. But now, with having to keep her in the bathroom during the night and when we are gone, she is going back to not being friendly again. It took her a long time to become friendly, almost like bonding and attachment. So, I am torn. I would like to place her in another home, as it's just too much for me to want to handle, but the girls get upset everytime it's mentioned (it was only initially mentioned when the vet claimed he could find nothing wrong with her and she was peeing out of spite so we said, 'nope not gonna have that' and mentioned she might need a new home). LGA's teacher came and talked to me one day and asked if the cat was going away because LGA was upset. So I'm torn. I've never given a cat away in this situation, but I'm tired of getting bitten (and she mostly bites me) and I'm tired of taking care of her. I know those cat lovers out there will be mad, but really, we are now on our 2nd food change, and if this doesn't cure her on this round of antibiotics, I just don't know.
Add to that, our leak, which I think is in several places in addition to LGA's room. Our insurance said without any damage, it will be up to us to pay for it. It could be a huge leak and we could have a real high bill. So, feeling a bit anxious on that. LGA originally had a crack in her concrete (which we did not know about) 4 yrs ago so that's why the water came through the carpet but there is no water damage this time, so we will have to pay to fix it. Evidently a few people have had water damages in this complex because I remember the class action suit we were a part of (and got only a small amt as we had not had any issues come up at that point) they wrote in the suit that people complained of water damage. Now we know what that means, the 2nd leak in 4 yrs. Same time frame we had the leak 4 yrs ago, as well. We think it's a hot water line leak as LGA's room is warm, like it was 4 yrs ago.
Cars also have issues, so we have a few things to take care of. When it rains, it seems to pour. But the sun is out and there is a good weekend (albeit quiet for the most part) in store for us. And the girls finished the week on positive notes, so what more could you ask for? Enjoy your weekend, blog readers. :-)
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
My Uncle's 90th Birthday........
We've been busy here at Family of 4 household. Lots of odds and ends to work on, some house issues, car issues, pet issues. In the midst of all that, I took off to Los Angeles, for my Uncle's 90th birthday this past holiday weekend. By myself.
I don't usually worry about the girls and one parent (Dave) taking care of them while I am gone. When I went south with the girls last summer for my mother's funeral and to settle her estate, the girls and I were together alone (for the most part, we did have some outings with my high school friends down there) for 18 days. 18 days with no parent back up, with one special needs child and two ADHD kids, who cannot handle things like my grief, losing their grandma, so everything was heightened and behaviors were off. If I can do that, Dave can handle a weekend on his own (he was notably tired when I came home and gave me a huge hug and kiss when I got home, LOL).
So............I headed out on Friday morning, with two little girls (and the pets) looking at me sadly as they all left for school. The hubs said, "have a good trip, I love you" etc. as he left to take BGA to school. I said, "have a good time" (and in my head wondering how they'd have a good time with me being gone, and knowing I'd have a bit more fun and freedom than he would) and "I love you" too and headed out on the highway to LA. I made good time, however, the mama van has a few items going on with it and one of them is an airconditioning hose and exhaust manifold. So......needless to say, LA was having a heat wave on Friday and when I hit the "valley" traffic, it was 84 degrees according to the van and the air was NOT working. I had jeans, tennis shoes, longer socks on, and a short sleeved t'shirt (luckily I packed some of them). I was HOT. I did eventually get to my aunt and uncle's house (the uncle with the 90th birthday) where I was staying in 6 hours time (going on to San Diego county always meant another two hours so it was nice just to drive the 6) with minimal stops.
My aunt and uncle have a nice home, that they have lived in since the 50's I believe. They were happy to see me and we had some good chats. My uncle was looking a bit older and tired, I think, and had recently lost his best friend of over 84 yrs, so he wanted to talk about his friend. We chatted as I sat and rested up a bit, then we decided to go to dinner at the Olive Garden. We met the 5pm crowd (but that was too late, and there was a bit of lamenting on not getting there at 4, but we missed the big crowds so that was ok) and had a great dinner and some more conversation. We also made a dry run to my cousin's house, where I would go the next day to help out, so I could see where I'd need to go. I didn't think it would be beneficial because it was dark (but they were right and it was when I had to drive to my cousin's the nex day. I am a landmark driver and there were some unique landmarks). During the night I asked my uncle about his service in the Pacific theater during WWII and he happily shared. I think he liked having someone to listen and I asked questions I had (after watching Stephen Spielberg's The Pacific) and also talked a bit about my grandparents and my mother, their growing up years. I got to thinking that really we should record my uncle, so that I could type up his memories for us all to have. He has some good ones.
My uncle drifted off to sleep for a couple of hours and my aunt and I had a chance to chat. We talked about where they were on 9/11 (they were in DC waiting to go on a tour of the White House), we talked about Jacqueline Kennedy and their tour of the Book Depository and the spot where Kennedy was shot, on a visit to Dallas. We talked about the girls (my aunt is a former 4th grade school teacher) and about her classes visiting the California Missions (this is a project most CA school children work on in the 4th grade, BGA did a short summary and that was all her class did). We had quite the conversation and I sensed she wanted her turn to talk to me. We stayed up till 1am. That's nothing for me as I am a night owl, but my aunt and uncle were tired the next day. After my uncle awoke from his nap, he had his 2nd wind and we talked some more. We hadn't talked like this since my mother died last year. It was nice and I enjoyed it. I asked questions and took everything in that they talked about.
The next day, Saturday, I awoke from my momento filled bedroom (they have traveled extensively and had a few items stored in the room I stayed in) and got ready in the bathroom. The bathroom is tiled, even the floor. I didn't realize why my aunt pointed out putting the rug down on the floor till I stepped on the tile (even in my shoes) and felt like I was gonnna go down, the floor was that slick. Saturday breakfast was oatmeal and an english muffin, oj and I had to bring instant coffee as my aunt and uncle don't drink coffee. I thought about having herbal tea, like they did, but I knew that would not tide me over and I didn't remember if there was a coffee place between my uncle's house and my cousin's house (where I was going to help cook and get ready for my uncle's party on Sunday). So I brought instant. It got me by. I slept well, too, like a rock. I hadn't stayed in that bedroom ever, but had stayed at my aunt and uncle's house. I hadn't stayed in about 25 yrs though. But you know how you sleep the first night in someone's house, sometimes not restful, and it takes awhile (at least it always has for me) to feel comfortable to sleep there? Well, this was not the case for me as I drifted off completely and only woke up when the sun was shining through the curtains.
My aunt and uncle saw me off with a "let us know if you are coming back for dinner" (it was so nice. When you have lost a parent, it feels good that someone wants to know when you are coming back). I made it to my cousin's house in record time and with no help from the 3x5 card my uncle wrote the directions on. My cousin had broke her wrist in a fall (but neglected to mention to me) in Nov and had a splint on. Her son was there and so we moved furniture and they let me cook with them. Both are cooks and I really didn't expect to do much other than be a sous chef, but I got to wilt some spinach (which I had never done before, but it turns out the girls like it so they gave me a tip on how to cook it) and enjoyed some great infused water and Earl Grey iced tea, while we worked. My cousins and I talked and it was very relaxed and fun. I love my cousin's house, it's very bungalow style, but she's decorated nicely and it just felt like home to me. I enjoyed my day very much, and we finished it off by getting the most wonderful carrot cake and cupcakes for my uncle's bday. I brought some back with me to my uncle's house and we enjoyed them after dinner. This is where my cousin ordered the cupcakes and cake from:
https://www.susiecakes.com/
We had another evening of talking about adventures, this time we talked about my aunt and uncle's travels. It turns out that they have seen weddings and been invited to share in the celebration, on most of their travels. They shared some stories I had already heard about, and some I hadn't. I listened and was reminded of a time where my mother and I sat at the very table we were at, listening to the stories they told about their travels, only this time it was just me. It felt weird and comforting at the same time. We turned in early Sat night as they were tired. No tv in my room so I got out my book and read till I got tired enough.
Sunday, my uncle made the best pancakes I have had in awhile. Dave makes good pancakes too, must be a guy thing. These pancakes were light and fluffy, the large ones you get in a restaurant. Some pre cooked sausage, oj and my instant coffee (again, but hey no caffeine issues, so it must have worked since it was Starbucks instant). I headed over to my cousin's house and we got ready for the party. My cousin's daughter, who has been mentioned on this blog and my other one, came down from the bay area with her fiancee, who I had not met. He's very nice, and I was very happy to see her so happy. You can tell they are in love and they get along well. Her mother said they were two peas in a pod, and they really are. It was nice to see that she is happy and getting married. My aunt and uncle referred to her wedding as "THE wedding" and it really is, just as ours was almost 13 yrs ago.
I got to see my cousins arrive, and most notably my 2nd cousin, once removed, as we are known, and his partner. We have known each other since we were about 10, we have written to each other, gotten together, lost touch, gotten back in touch, for years. I saw him at my mother's funeral but the girls were there and I really didn't have much chance to talk. He took me out to lunch on the first trip right after mom died, but I think I was in shock and I don't really remember much from it (sorry Michael). We had some great conversation going and it was nice to connect with my cousins and also with my cousin's daughter's two friends, who came. They know my uncle from the many gatherings that they all shared. The girls were funny and my uncle commented on how much he liked E's laugh. He seemed to light up when she came around. :-) We had a nice day and my 2nd cousin and his partner and grandma (my 2nd cousin I guess) came back to my uncle's house for a half hour and we chatted.
We ended the evening watching the season finale of Downton Abbey, which I had seen before but didn't mind seeing again. They fell asleep through it, but my uncle fought it and wanted to watch the full 2 hours, my aunt nodded off and on but caught most of the last hour. It was a sad finale, but I won't share my thoughts on it if you haven't seen it yet.
Monday I woke early intending to be on the road by 7:30 (I didn't make it till 9:30). I packed and got ready and had a small breakfast with my aunt and uncle. We chatted and before I realized it, it was almost 9. I had to get on the road, so off I went, a bit bittersweet, as it always is when you leave a nice weekend. I was anxious to get home so I really didn't stop and made the trip in 5 hours. As we were loading the car (my uncle insisted on helping me, he didn't know I used to load my stuff in the car from mom's by myself) I heard my aunt tell him, "make sure you have her call us when she gets home." If she only knew how touched I was by that. My mom used to say, "call me when you get there." So it reminded me of my mom. I like how my aunt said, "Just a brief call. That's all we need." I am known in my family as a 'chatterbox' so I think we were all chatted out. LOL. As it happens they were going out for a meal (at 3) so it was very brief.
It was a good weekend, and I do need to do it more often I think. I know my cousin takes good care of them, but it would be nice to reconnect with them. When my cousin's parents were alive (my mother's sister and her husband) and I lived in S CA, we would get together once a month, and then this aunt and uncle would come down from LA and we had lots of family gatherings. These days the gatherings are less frequent and it's sad, in a way. I want to rectify that. Even if I came down every few months or so. Now that Dave has his promotion he can make his hours and be available by phone.
All in all, it was a great trip, I was able to reconnect and celebrate my uncle's 90th (I came down from N CA to S CA for his 80th, and my mother was still alive. I missed his 85th) and enjoy some family time as well as time to myself. It was nice to do this.
The girls missed me and LGA said on Saturday, "Mommy.......I miss you. You come home today??" I had to tell her no and all I heard was a sigh.........she has become quite the mommy's girl, and she started out being more of a daddy's girl. When I came home and put my key in the lock, I heard, "MOMMY'S HOME! MOMMY'S HOME!!!" Lots of huge hugs and kisses for me, lots of wanting to be by me, etc. My sweet dogs missed me, especially my first Cavalier, who has always preferred me to anyone. Dave said he moped (he usually goes with me but my aunt and uncle did not want me to bring any of the dogs) around. He rarely licks and he just kept licking my face, so happy to see me.
I had some good news to tell the girls as cousin G and her fiancee picked their date and she asked me if the girls would be flower girls. They were SO excited!
So, back to life here, the routine, etc. We have a leak again in LGA's room, although it has not come through the carpet, but it is warm in her room so it's another hot water leak. We have issues with the cars, and our cat has a urninary tract infection that 2 rounds of antibiotics have not cured. So we have our hands full.
LGA had a hard time (last time I was away was in Oct for my high school reunion) and did not have a good time at school. She was caught throwing food. She said her classmate told her to do it (but classic FASD is lying, so hard to know what the real truth is) with me being gone. The girls have always had a hard time, no matter how often we go away and come back. They just want us where we are supposed to be, all 4 of us together. Also, LGA's teacher wrote a note yesterday after the holiday telling me the food throwing was on friday and yesterday. She said LGA needed to write the classroom rules and that she only had one line done after an hour. AN HOUR??? Seriously, they expect an FASD, ADHD kid to sit still for an hour and write rules??? I'm afraid our nice relationship will go by the wayside because I wrote a note back asking how they thought she could sit still for an hour and write the rules down (when she is barely learning to write and feel comfortable copying stuff down). I mean, come on, they KNOW LGA, they know she cannot do this. The note said, "this is unacceptable." So I wrote back and asked what did they mean by that.....did she miss recess, etc. Then LGA shared (and the teacher did not) that she had to go to the Vice Principal's office and that the other girl got suspended but LGA did not. So I am not quite sure what was going on but I did explain that I was going out of town and that LGA has a hard time with that so there might be some acting out.........which makes me wonder why they were so surprised. Unless they did not believe me??? So LGA and I had a talk about how to behave at school, and how if someone asks you to do something and you know it's wrong, you should not do it. LGA has had good behavior in school for the most part, so this was out of her norm and I think the teacher was surprised. I guess she didn't believe me when I told her LGA had issues in mainstream class and that we were happy it didn't appear she had issues in this class/school. So we will see what today brings, but I got her ready for school (Dave usually does it) as Dave was not feeling well, so I reminded her again (it's all repetition for FASD kids, lots of repetition) of the rules and said, "you are going to have a good day today, right??" But what still gets me is her sheet with plusses and minuses did not show any minuses for Friday when she was 'observed' throwing food. Also FASD kids can be led very easily so we have to talk about that too. I guess I need to get the teacher a copy of my info on teaching FASD kids. She has Special Ed experience of over 20 years, but that does not mean she's familiar with FASD (or needs a refresher).
So here's to my week back from my weekend. May we get all the issues resolved and life back to normal. I enjoyed my trip and it was good to get away again. I feel more refreshed so I know it's needed again. Sometimes you just need a break to reconnect with family.
I don't usually worry about the girls and one parent (Dave) taking care of them while I am gone. When I went south with the girls last summer for my mother's funeral and to settle her estate, the girls and I were together alone (for the most part, we did have some outings with my high school friends down there) for 18 days. 18 days with no parent back up, with one special needs child and two ADHD kids, who cannot handle things like my grief, losing their grandma, so everything was heightened and behaviors were off. If I can do that, Dave can handle a weekend on his own (he was notably tired when I came home and gave me a huge hug and kiss when I got home, LOL).
So............I headed out on Friday morning, with two little girls (and the pets) looking at me sadly as they all left for school. The hubs said, "have a good trip, I love you" etc. as he left to take BGA to school. I said, "have a good time" (and in my head wondering how they'd have a good time with me being gone, and knowing I'd have a bit more fun and freedom than he would) and "I love you" too and headed out on the highway to LA. I made good time, however, the mama van has a few items going on with it and one of them is an airconditioning hose and exhaust manifold. So......needless to say, LA was having a heat wave on Friday and when I hit the "valley" traffic, it was 84 degrees according to the van and the air was NOT working. I had jeans, tennis shoes, longer socks on, and a short sleeved t'shirt (luckily I packed some of them). I was HOT. I did eventually get to my aunt and uncle's house (the uncle with the 90th birthday) where I was staying in 6 hours time (going on to San Diego county always meant another two hours so it was nice just to drive the 6) with minimal stops.
My aunt and uncle have a nice home, that they have lived in since the 50's I believe. They were happy to see me and we had some good chats. My uncle was looking a bit older and tired, I think, and had recently lost his best friend of over 84 yrs, so he wanted to talk about his friend. We chatted as I sat and rested up a bit, then we decided to go to dinner at the Olive Garden. We met the 5pm crowd (but that was too late, and there was a bit of lamenting on not getting there at 4, but we missed the big crowds so that was ok) and had a great dinner and some more conversation. We also made a dry run to my cousin's house, where I would go the next day to help out, so I could see where I'd need to go. I didn't think it would be beneficial because it was dark (but they were right and it was when I had to drive to my cousin's the nex day. I am a landmark driver and there were some unique landmarks). During the night I asked my uncle about his service in the Pacific theater during WWII and he happily shared. I think he liked having someone to listen and I asked questions I had (after watching Stephen Spielberg's The Pacific) and also talked a bit about my grandparents and my mother, their growing up years. I got to thinking that really we should record my uncle, so that I could type up his memories for us all to have. He has some good ones.
My uncle drifted off to sleep for a couple of hours and my aunt and I had a chance to chat. We talked about where they were on 9/11 (they were in DC waiting to go on a tour of the White House), we talked about Jacqueline Kennedy and their tour of the Book Depository and the spot where Kennedy was shot, on a visit to Dallas. We talked about the girls (my aunt is a former 4th grade school teacher) and about her classes visiting the California Missions (this is a project most CA school children work on in the 4th grade, BGA did a short summary and that was all her class did). We had quite the conversation and I sensed she wanted her turn to talk to me. We stayed up till 1am. That's nothing for me as I am a night owl, but my aunt and uncle were tired the next day. After my uncle awoke from his nap, he had his 2nd wind and we talked some more. We hadn't talked like this since my mother died last year. It was nice and I enjoyed it. I asked questions and took everything in that they talked about.
The next day, Saturday, I awoke from my momento filled bedroom (they have traveled extensively and had a few items stored in the room I stayed in) and got ready in the bathroom. The bathroom is tiled, even the floor. I didn't realize why my aunt pointed out putting the rug down on the floor till I stepped on the tile (even in my shoes) and felt like I was gonnna go down, the floor was that slick. Saturday breakfast was oatmeal and an english muffin, oj and I had to bring instant coffee as my aunt and uncle don't drink coffee. I thought about having herbal tea, like they did, but I knew that would not tide me over and I didn't remember if there was a coffee place between my uncle's house and my cousin's house (where I was going to help cook and get ready for my uncle's party on Sunday). So I brought instant. It got me by. I slept well, too, like a rock. I hadn't stayed in that bedroom ever, but had stayed at my aunt and uncle's house. I hadn't stayed in about 25 yrs though. But you know how you sleep the first night in someone's house, sometimes not restful, and it takes awhile (at least it always has for me) to feel comfortable to sleep there? Well, this was not the case for me as I drifted off completely and only woke up when the sun was shining through the curtains.
My aunt and uncle saw me off with a "let us know if you are coming back for dinner" (it was so nice. When you have lost a parent, it feels good that someone wants to know when you are coming back). I made it to my cousin's house in record time and with no help from the 3x5 card my uncle wrote the directions on. My cousin had broke her wrist in a fall (but neglected to mention to me) in Nov and had a splint on. Her son was there and so we moved furniture and they let me cook with them. Both are cooks and I really didn't expect to do much other than be a sous chef, but I got to wilt some spinach (which I had never done before, but it turns out the girls like it so they gave me a tip on how to cook it) and enjoyed some great infused water and Earl Grey iced tea, while we worked. My cousins and I talked and it was very relaxed and fun. I love my cousin's house, it's very bungalow style, but she's decorated nicely and it just felt like home to me. I enjoyed my day very much, and we finished it off by getting the most wonderful carrot cake and cupcakes for my uncle's bday. I brought some back with me to my uncle's house and we enjoyed them after dinner. This is where my cousin ordered the cupcakes and cake from:
https://www.susiecakes.com/
We had another evening of talking about adventures, this time we talked about my aunt and uncle's travels. It turns out that they have seen weddings and been invited to share in the celebration, on most of their travels. They shared some stories I had already heard about, and some I hadn't. I listened and was reminded of a time where my mother and I sat at the very table we were at, listening to the stories they told about their travels, only this time it was just me. It felt weird and comforting at the same time. We turned in early Sat night as they were tired. No tv in my room so I got out my book and read till I got tired enough.
Sunday, my uncle made the best pancakes I have had in awhile. Dave makes good pancakes too, must be a guy thing. These pancakes were light and fluffy, the large ones you get in a restaurant. Some pre cooked sausage, oj and my instant coffee (again, but hey no caffeine issues, so it must have worked since it was Starbucks instant). I headed over to my cousin's house and we got ready for the party. My cousin's daughter, who has been mentioned on this blog and my other one, came down from the bay area with her fiancee, who I had not met. He's very nice, and I was very happy to see her so happy. You can tell they are in love and they get along well. Her mother said they were two peas in a pod, and they really are. It was nice to see that she is happy and getting married. My aunt and uncle referred to her wedding as "THE wedding" and it really is, just as ours was almost 13 yrs ago.
I got to see my cousins arrive, and most notably my 2nd cousin, once removed, as we are known, and his partner. We have known each other since we were about 10, we have written to each other, gotten together, lost touch, gotten back in touch, for years. I saw him at my mother's funeral but the girls were there and I really didn't have much chance to talk. He took me out to lunch on the first trip right after mom died, but I think I was in shock and I don't really remember much from it (sorry Michael). We had some great conversation going and it was nice to connect with my cousins and also with my cousin's daughter's two friends, who came. They know my uncle from the many gatherings that they all shared. The girls were funny and my uncle commented on how much he liked E's laugh. He seemed to light up when she came around. :-) We had a nice day and my 2nd cousin and his partner and grandma (my 2nd cousin I guess) came back to my uncle's house for a half hour and we chatted.
We ended the evening watching the season finale of Downton Abbey, which I had seen before but didn't mind seeing again. They fell asleep through it, but my uncle fought it and wanted to watch the full 2 hours, my aunt nodded off and on but caught most of the last hour. It was a sad finale, but I won't share my thoughts on it if you haven't seen it yet.
Monday I woke early intending to be on the road by 7:30 (I didn't make it till 9:30). I packed and got ready and had a small breakfast with my aunt and uncle. We chatted and before I realized it, it was almost 9. I had to get on the road, so off I went, a bit bittersweet, as it always is when you leave a nice weekend. I was anxious to get home so I really didn't stop and made the trip in 5 hours. As we were loading the car (my uncle insisted on helping me, he didn't know I used to load my stuff in the car from mom's by myself) I heard my aunt tell him, "make sure you have her call us when she gets home." If she only knew how touched I was by that. My mom used to say, "call me when you get there." So it reminded me of my mom. I like how my aunt said, "Just a brief call. That's all we need." I am known in my family as a 'chatterbox' so I think we were all chatted out. LOL. As it happens they were going out for a meal (at 3) so it was very brief.
It was a good weekend, and I do need to do it more often I think. I know my cousin takes good care of them, but it would be nice to reconnect with them. When my cousin's parents were alive (my mother's sister and her husband) and I lived in S CA, we would get together once a month, and then this aunt and uncle would come down from LA and we had lots of family gatherings. These days the gatherings are less frequent and it's sad, in a way. I want to rectify that. Even if I came down every few months or so. Now that Dave has his promotion he can make his hours and be available by phone.
All in all, it was a great trip, I was able to reconnect and celebrate my uncle's 90th (I came down from N CA to S CA for his 80th, and my mother was still alive. I missed his 85th) and enjoy some family time as well as time to myself. It was nice to do this.
The girls missed me and LGA said on Saturday, "Mommy.......I miss you. You come home today??" I had to tell her no and all I heard was a sigh.........she has become quite the mommy's girl, and she started out being more of a daddy's girl. When I came home and put my key in the lock, I heard, "MOMMY'S HOME! MOMMY'S HOME!!!" Lots of huge hugs and kisses for me, lots of wanting to be by me, etc. My sweet dogs missed me, especially my first Cavalier, who has always preferred me to anyone. Dave said he moped (he usually goes with me but my aunt and uncle did not want me to bring any of the dogs) around. He rarely licks and he just kept licking my face, so happy to see me.
I had some good news to tell the girls as cousin G and her fiancee picked their date and she asked me if the girls would be flower girls. They were SO excited!
So, back to life here, the routine, etc. We have a leak again in LGA's room, although it has not come through the carpet, but it is warm in her room so it's another hot water leak. We have issues with the cars, and our cat has a urninary tract infection that 2 rounds of antibiotics have not cured. So we have our hands full.
LGA had a hard time (last time I was away was in Oct for my high school reunion) and did not have a good time at school. She was caught throwing food. She said her classmate told her to do it (but classic FASD is lying, so hard to know what the real truth is) with me being gone. The girls have always had a hard time, no matter how often we go away and come back. They just want us where we are supposed to be, all 4 of us together. Also, LGA's teacher wrote a note yesterday after the holiday telling me the food throwing was on friday and yesterday. She said LGA needed to write the classroom rules and that she only had one line done after an hour. AN HOUR??? Seriously, they expect an FASD, ADHD kid to sit still for an hour and write rules??? I'm afraid our nice relationship will go by the wayside because I wrote a note back asking how they thought she could sit still for an hour and write the rules down (when she is barely learning to write and feel comfortable copying stuff down). I mean, come on, they KNOW LGA, they know she cannot do this. The note said, "this is unacceptable." So I wrote back and asked what did they mean by that.....did she miss recess, etc. Then LGA shared (and the teacher did not) that she had to go to the Vice Principal's office and that the other girl got suspended but LGA did not. So I am not quite sure what was going on but I did explain that I was going out of town and that LGA has a hard time with that so there might be some acting out.........which makes me wonder why they were so surprised. Unless they did not believe me??? So LGA and I had a talk about how to behave at school, and how if someone asks you to do something and you know it's wrong, you should not do it. LGA has had good behavior in school for the most part, so this was out of her norm and I think the teacher was surprised. I guess she didn't believe me when I told her LGA had issues in mainstream class and that we were happy it didn't appear she had issues in this class/school. So we will see what today brings, but I got her ready for school (Dave usually does it) as Dave was not feeling well, so I reminded her again (it's all repetition for FASD kids, lots of repetition) of the rules and said, "you are going to have a good day today, right??" But what still gets me is her sheet with plusses and minuses did not show any minuses for Friday when she was 'observed' throwing food. Also FASD kids can be led very easily so we have to talk about that too. I guess I need to get the teacher a copy of my info on teaching FASD kids. She has Special Ed experience of over 20 years, but that does not mean she's familiar with FASD (or needs a refresher).
So here's to my week back from my weekend. May we get all the issues resolved and life back to normal. I enjoyed my trip and it was good to get away again. I feel more refreshed so I know it's needed again. Sometimes you just need a break to reconnect with family.
Friday, February 8, 2013
A Movie........
I did something today that I haven't done in awhile.............I went to an early movie by myself. I am not sure how much time has passed since I went to a movie on my own, but it's been considerable.
I have been wanting to go to a movie on my own since the girls started afternoon Girl Scouts at their school one day a week. I have two extra hours to myself and figured I'd have plenty of time to go see a movie and then pick them up. But........there weren't any movies I wanted to see out, so I wasn't able to go on the day they go to GS. Today was Friday so the new movies came out. I decided to go to a movie today. I think I just needed something different to do. I'm in a rut and as I mentioned in my last post, I really want to start doing some stuff for me this year. I want to define who I am, not by a mother, but me, the person I was before a mother and before raising a special needs child.
So, today I picked a movie to go to. I picked Identity Theft, because I really like Melissa McCarthy. I always have. I also like Jason Bateman, the male lead, so I decided as the time worked out, that I would treat myself to an early movie. By the time it got out, it allowed me time to pick up BGA from school. She's been late getting out of class the last couple of days so I figured I could swing it.......I was correct.
The movie was funny, and just sitting in the theater by myself was a treat. No having to share my red vines with Dave and the kids. No one talking before the movie started, no one having to go to the bathroom or complaining that their straw didn't fit in their drink, or that they dropped a piece of candy, etc.
The theater was packed for a Friday, mid day. I had to sit down at the front (because I took my time getting ready, couldn't decide what to wear for some reason today (as the weather that had been in the mid 60's and sunny, decided to go to the mid 50's and cloudy). Perhaps my body is getting acclimated to spring coming soon? Especially since the groundhog did not see his shadow so spring is coming early.
I still enjoyed it and stretched out with a whole row to myself. I didn't care if anyone heard me laugh out loud. If I liked a line I was gonna laugh heartily..........and I did.
I got out in just enough time to meet BGA at school, and since she's been late the last couple of days I had enough time to sit and check my phone while I waited. Think about the movie I just saw and have a few minutes of peace before that was over for the weekend (and it's a school holiday so no school on Monday, but that's ok because daddy is off on Sunday and Monday and will be home to help out).
I think at times, it's hard to make time for yourself, when you have a special needs child. It's not easy to find a baby sitter, or leave them with people, so you end up going by yourself or in Dave's and my case, we try to cram stuff in on the Monday he is off and the girls are in school. It's hard to find that time together and since Dave works Saturdays, I feel guilty taking a Sunday to myself when he's just off work on his first day off. But I need to find time for stuff for me. I've really let it go by the wayside. The first few years I was just plain tired, and days were tiring and discouraging at times. I was dealing with a lot of issues from my brother (who lived in another state but who had no problem bugging me by phone) and my mother who was failing health wise. It was hard to make time for myself and I just didn't do it. I let it go and then when I tried to carve out time for myself, I couldn't relax. Being a stay at home mom, I could have made time during the day, but after my mother died, just doing any kind of task, cooking, laundry, cleaning house, etc., became a chore to me (sometimes it still does, and sometimes I just need to mentally decompress). I couldn't find my way. I didn't want to at first.
But very slowly, I began to read again (I still have a hard time picking reading back up, and I have always been an avid reader, but I just can't do it for some reason, at times), I have read some small books and posted last post about the ones I just recently bought. I started to watch movies on DVD or DVR ones to watch on tv, instead of mindlessly turning on the tv to whatever show was on. I began to slowly bead again (although that has taken a backseat lately and I can't seem to organize a project. I am really wondering if there is ADHD in me, I can't seem to complete a project, and can't focus enough to start). But I am such a long way from where I want to be.
The loss experienced, both in my mother's passing and an issue with a friend, has taken me to a place, where I have had to examine some truths, and where I have been disappointed about what was said. I have had to decide what I feel about the friendship, and if you have followed this blog you know how hard it has been to lose my mother, and to form the 'new' ideal of family (the girls, Dave and I) and to fully be able to focus on them. It's different, and I could go into it, but there is now a blog on my sidebar if you want to read more about my experiences since my mother has passed away. There is only one post up as I can't seem to decide what else to write about (or get motivated). I have been very tired these past few months, but have been staying up late, on the computer or watching tv, not really connecting with anything. Grief can do that to you. Grief you don't expect or the amount of grief you don't expect to feel.
So making myself go out to a movie was a good thing. It felt good, I felt good, after. It was a good start for me. I must start doing things again. I did when the girls first came home, the first few years, then as issues with my brother came up and my mom started failing, I stopped. I just stopped. So, another beginning this next week, I have a lunch date with two gals, a mother and her daughter, who I have recently met through my friend. I buy jewelry from the daughter, and she's very sweet and nice, and her mother is my age and we got along well the times we met. They uplifted me and made me feel special. They told me they liked my hair, they liked the girls, they started inviting me places, it felt great. They have their lives and I have mine, but we can get together socially and it's fun. Dave, the girls and I have been to their houses for parties and had fun.
I used to be social, but raising a special needs child has changed a lot of that. I am not alone, I know that other mothers out there are experiencing the same thing, as I have now met some on FB. Yes, the very same FB that causes people to not be able to get a feel for what others are saying because you can't get the tone of someone's voice on FB. But there are a few Fetal Alcohol groups I have joined and I just make sure I stay out of the controversy, however, most of us are just trying to get support for raising our kids, and I didn't realize I needed that support till I started connecting with others who have children like mine. That's dropped a lot of stress because I can log on, read how someone else handled a situation and know what will come next, etc. I needed that so badly. If I can stay out of the fray (not that I have seen any at all, like I said most of us just support each other and we are all pretty supportive of each other) I think I will do ok there and it's needed.
So getting out of my comfort zone for a movie today, was a good experience for me and one in which I think I will repeat. I'm also going to contact some former co workers of mine and arrange lunch on the day when the girls are in GS for 2 extra hours.
LGA was testy at dinner tonight, which is always hard, and not a pleasant experience, so my nice day was almost a distant memory, but we did manage to get through and she must have had a hard learning week as she went right to bed (which might mean she's up earlier than usual) so that evened out in the end.
I need to get more sleep as I have become a night owl, preferring the late night time when everyone is safely tucked away in bed and I can relax a bit, but it's tiring me out. I am still getting up early as Dave and the kids leave for school and work, so I need more sleep. So I've been trying to go to bed an hour earlier than I had been and determined my tiredness was due to lack of sleep.
A movie was a good start for me, though............I must take advantage now that the times are earlier, to go before school lets out. I enjoyed my day completely. And it was just a movie...........who would have thought that would be what I needed today? But it was............
I have been wanting to go to a movie on my own since the girls started afternoon Girl Scouts at their school one day a week. I have two extra hours to myself and figured I'd have plenty of time to go see a movie and then pick them up. But........there weren't any movies I wanted to see out, so I wasn't able to go on the day they go to GS. Today was Friday so the new movies came out. I decided to go to a movie today. I think I just needed something different to do. I'm in a rut and as I mentioned in my last post, I really want to start doing some stuff for me this year. I want to define who I am, not by a mother, but me, the person I was before a mother and before raising a special needs child.
So, today I picked a movie to go to. I picked Identity Theft, because I really like Melissa McCarthy. I always have. I also like Jason Bateman, the male lead, so I decided as the time worked out, that I would treat myself to an early movie. By the time it got out, it allowed me time to pick up BGA from school. She's been late getting out of class the last couple of days so I figured I could swing it.......I was correct.
The movie was funny, and just sitting in the theater by myself was a treat. No having to share my red vines with Dave and the kids. No one talking before the movie started, no one having to go to the bathroom or complaining that their straw didn't fit in their drink, or that they dropped a piece of candy, etc.
The theater was packed for a Friday, mid day. I had to sit down at the front (because I took my time getting ready, couldn't decide what to wear for some reason today (as the weather that had been in the mid 60's and sunny, decided to go to the mid 50's and cloudy). Perhaps my body is getting acclimated to spring coming soon? Especially since the groundhog did not see his shadow so spring is coming early.
I still enjoyed it and stretched out with a whole row to myself. I didn't care if anyone heard me laugh out loud. If I liked a line I was gonna laugh heartily..........and I did.
I got out in just enough time to meet BGA at school, and since she's been late the last couple of days I had enough time to sit and check my phone while I waited. Think about the movie I just saw and have a few minutes of peace before that was over for the weekend (and it's a school holiday so no school on Monday, but that's ok because daddy is off on Sunday and Monday and will be home to help out).
I think at times, it's hard to make time for yourself, when you have a special needs child. It's not easy to find a baby sitter, or leave them with people, so you end up going by yourself or in Dave's and my case, we try to cram stuff in on the Monday he is off and the girls are in school. It's hard to find that time together and since Dave works Saturdays, I feel guilty taking a Sunday to myself when he's just off work on his first day off. But I need to find time for stuff for me. I've really let it go by the wayside. The first few years I was just plain tired, and days were tiring and discouraging at times. I was dealing with a lot of issues from my brother (who lived in another state but who had no problem bugging me by phone) and my mother who was failing health wise. It was hard to make time for myself and I just didn't do it. I let it go and then when I tried to carve out time for myself, I couldn't relax. Being a stay at home mom, I could have made time during the day, but after my mother died, just doing any kind of task, cooking, laundry, cleaning house, etc., became a chore to me (sometimes it still does, and sometimes I just need to mentally decompress). I couldn't find my way. I didn't want to at first.
But very slowly, I began to read again (I still have a hard time picking reading back up, and I have always been an avid reader, but I just can't do it for some reason, at times), I have read some small books and posted last post about the ones I just recently bought. I started to watch movies on DVD or DVR ones to watch on tv, instead of mindlessly turning on the tv to whatever show was on. I began to slowly bead again (although that has taken a backseat lately and I can't seem to organize a project. I am really wondering if there is ADHD in me, I can't seem to complete a project, and can't focus enough to start). But I am such a long way from where I want to be.
The loss experienced, both in my mother's passing and an issue with a friend, has taken me to a place, where I have had to examine some truths, and where I have been disappointed about what was said. I have had to decide what I feel about the friendship, and if you have followed this blog you know how hard it has been to lose my mother, and to form the 'new' ideal of family (the girls, Dave and I) and to fully be able to focus on them. It's different, and I could go into it, but there is now a blog on my sidebar if you want to read more about my experiences since my mother has passed away. There is only one post up as I can't seem to decide what else to write about (or get motivated). I have been very tired these past few months, but have been staying up late, on the computer or watching tv, not really connecting with anything. Grief can do that to you. Grief you don't expect or the amount of grief you don't expect to feel.
So making myself go out to a movie was a good thing. It felt good, I felt good, after. It was a good start for me. I must start doing things again. I did when the girls first came home, the first few years, then as issues with my brother came up and my mom started failing, I stopped. I just stopped. So, another beginning this next week, I have a lunch date with two gals, a mother and her daughter, who I have recently met through my friend. I buy jewelry from the daughter, and she's very sweet and nice, and her mother is my age and we got along well the times we met. They uplifted me and made me feel special. They told me they liked my hair, they liked the girls, they started inviting me places, it felt great. They have their lives and I have mine, but we can get together socially and it's fun. Dave, the girls and I have been to their houses for parties and had fun.
I used to be social, but raising a special needs child has changed a lot of that. I am not alone, I know that other mothers out there are experiencing the same thing, as I have now met some on FB. Yes, the very same FB that causes people to not be able to get a feel for what others are saying because you can't get the tone of someone's voice on FB. But there are a few Fetal Alcohol groups I have joined and I just make sure I stay out of the controversy, however, most of us are just trying to get support for raising our kids, and I didn't realize I needed that support till I started connecting with others who have children like mine. That's dropped a lot of stress because I can log on, read how someone else handled a situation and know what will come next, etc. I needed that so badly. If I can stay out of the fray (not that I have seen any at all, like I said most of us just support each other and we are all pretty supportive of each other) I think I will do ok there and it's needed.
So getting out of my comfort zone for a movie today, was a good experience for me and one in which I think I will repeat. I'm also going to contact some former co workers of mine and arrange lunch on the day when the girls are in GS for 2 extra hours.
LGA was testy at dinner tonight, which is always hard, and not a pleasant experience, so my nice day was almost a distant memory, but we did manage to get through and she must have had a hard learning week as she went right to bed (which might mean she's up earlier than usual) so that evened out in the end.
I need to get more sleep as I have become a night owl, preferring the late night time when everyone is safely tucked away in bed and I can relax a bit, but it's tiring me out. I am still getting up early as Dave and the kids leave for school and work, so I need more sleep. So I've been trying to go to bed an hour earlier than I had been and determined my tiredness was due to lack of sleep.
A movie was a good start for me, though............I must take advantage now that the times are earlier, to go before school lets out. I enjoyed my day completely. And it was just a movie...........who would have thought that would be what I needed today? But it was............
Friday, January 25, 2013
Promotions, Products and Pets.......Oh My!
I wasn't going to do a post of products I love, but there are a few things lately that I have received that I like and wanted to highlight them for you.
But first off, I have to give a shout out to my husband (he very rarely reads this blog) because he's receieved a promotion at work and is now a manager in charge of the office staff. He's been at his company almost 10 yrs (even his boss didn't believe it - but his boss is not the one who hired him, this boss came after my husband was hired, so he would have no clue when my husband started with the company). He has worked at every position in the office and now it's his turn to become a manager. I know he's ready for this job. I'm happy as he can set his own hours (no extra pay though or overtime anymore) so he can come to school functions, he and I can take an hour to meet for lunch, and he can come home earlier if his work is done. He will still work a day on the weekend, but I enjoy having him off on the weekday he's off, so that won't be a change. I'm really proud of him. :-) So far 2013 is starting off nicely, let's hope it continues...........after last year, we could really use a good year.
Now, you frequently if you read blogs with any regularity, know that some of the blogs out there do a What I Wore Wednesday (I wish I could participate in this but you know, I have a mom wardrobe and while I could dress up, I really just don't want to and I have accepted that- however, I do like to look at the outfits people link to, it's kind of like a What Not To Wear - or wear as the case may be) an Instagram Friday (this one I could do but I have not found any inspiring pictures to take nor would my house be one I'd like people to see, it's small and 4 people and 5 pets have outgrown it, and I haven't been anywhere this year that would inspire me to take pics. But I'd like to try this one), sponsored products (no one ever sends me anything because I am not ad sponsored) and to take a picture that inspires me from the week. I like to see what other people have posted, although I have to admit I don't link up at all because I don't feel as inspired as these bloggers do. So I read and I enjoy reading the posts.
However, I do have a few items I have been enjoying this winter, both products, tv, and clothing. So I am gonna do a link to some of my winter favorites (just because it's a bit of fun and sometimes this blog can lean towards two very special girls and it's time for a bit of some fun stuff).
I have picked up reading in the last month and I am enjoying it. I used to be a reader who could only read in extreme quiet (because when I was single and living on my own, that is what my atmosphere - except for my cats' meowing - was) but I am learning to read while noise is going on in the background (although I do not care for it but I am trying to accept it because that is what my household is like). So on to favorite number 1.
1. Downton Abbey. I am addicted, yes, I am. I can't help it. My friend came to visit last year, at New Years and got me started on Downton. She and I started watching it but the kids were around (PBS was having it's marathon lead up to season 2) so I decided to DVR the rest and the start of season 2. When my friend left, I stayed up one night to watch all of season 1 in anticipation of the start of season 2. Now they are on to season 3 and I'm still hooked.
So this past Sunday PBS did a special on Highclere castle, where they film Downton Abbey. I watched and became fascinated with the estate and the Earl and Countess. So I ordered this book, based on one of the Countesses of Highclere:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0770435629/ref=oh_details_o00_s00_i00
I also ordered this book as I am now fascinated by the American heiresses who came over in the early 1900's to marry the British Lords and supplied the much needed cash (dowery) to get the estates back on track (ie Downton Abbey style):
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0761171959/ref=oh_details_o00_s00_i01
I have also read the books of this author, who was an actual parlor maid:
http://www.amazon.com/Below-Stairs-Inspired-Upstairs-Downstairs/dp/1250005442/ref=pd_sim_b_1
This maid definitely has the salty British humor going.
2. Clemmentines - the orange. I have really gotten into this sweet little citrus fruit. My mom was eating them towards the end of her life and I have not really been an orange person but LGA likes oranges, and I always buy the small ones for the girls. I started eating one at a meal one day and was hooked. I can't find them in the stores anymore so I think they are only in season a short while (I could look this up to add more 'facts' to this post, but I am too lazy to do that right now).
3. Hot tea. British black tea to be more specific. We have a Keurig coffee maker, and I have been brewing a cup of tea in the afternoon with my lunch. It reminds me of being back in England with my cousins and having an afternoon cup of tea. I even bought an English cucumber at the grocery store last night so I do see cucumber sandwiches in my future........yum. And yes, I have been to the Ritz for high tea. Loved it.
Do you see a British theme going on???? Hm....when did that start??
Now I am going to switch to a lotion that I have been really loving. My skin since my 2004 hysterectomy operation, has been dry in the winter and sometimes the summer months. I discovered this brand when my cousin gave me a hand creme she didn't like the smell of. I was hooked and had to have some. This product is the best lotion I have found for dry skin:
http://usa.loccitane.com/natural-beauty-products-skincare-l'occitane-en-provence-usa,82,1,28281,333753.htm?cm_mmc=Email+Newsletter-_-Week+3+Friday+Honey+Best-_-Promotional-_-Logo&utm_medium=Email+Newsletter&utm_source=Week+3+Friday+Honey+Best&utm_content=Promotional&utm_campaign=Logo
I have a problem with wool sweaters and found that some of my sweaters were a bit heavy and a lot of wool/angora, which if it's around my neck, can make me itch. So I found these sweaters at Old Navy that I can wear a tank or tshirt under and I like them:
http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=73824&vid=1&pid=262425082
I have worn them all winter long, and I really like them. I have found Old Navy's clothing does not always hold up so I have been trying to wash them and hang them to dry to extend their life. Of course, I have loved Old Navy's fleece half zip pullovers, fleece hoodies, and fleece pullovers for years and have worn them (along with their yoga pants, yes, I like their yoga pants, even though I do not use them for yoga as they were intended) for years.
My favorite pajamas to date are these (the girls love them and say "look at mommy's monkey pjs!"):
http://www.target.com/p/nick-nora-poplin-sock-monkey-pajama-coat-set-pink-multi/-/A-11015458#prodSlot=medium_1_1&term=nick+and+nora+monkey+pjs
And my favorite boots this year:
http://www.amazon.com/BEARPAW-Womens-Emma-Short-Black/dp/B003DNR2IO/ref=sr_1_1?s=shoes&ie=UTF8&qid=1359136251&sr=1-1&keywords=bearpaws
I think the Bearpaws are much better than the Uggs that everyone is wearing. These boots are the warmest and have kept me plenty warm this winter.
My favorite scarves to date are the infinity scarves. I recently ordered some from The Pleated Poppy:
http://shop.thepleatedpoppy.com/category/scarves
They are comfy and easy to wrap around your neck for warmth.
The products I listed above are just some of the favorites I have been using/wearing/reading this winter.
Now on to the pet part of this update. The girls (and Dave) desperately want a hamster. We have been to Petsmart to look at the hamsters and even seen them up close. LGA got very upset the last time we went (as we were looking at cages and reading the pamphlets they have near the cages) as we left without a hamster. I know who would end up cleaning it's cage (even though Dave rather begrudgingly said he would take care of cleaning/feeding it) and feeding it. I had two hamsters growing up, Charlie and Seymour. They fought (as they were two males) so we separated them in to two cages. They also were night animals so got out and roamed the house (till we found them hiding in the bathroom laundry hampers in the am). We thought about it, but part of the pamphlet said that the hamsters will bite if you poke them inside their cages or tap on their cages a lot. I know this would be hard for OCD LGA to leave it (her as we'd get a female) alone. Also the first time it got out and ran, the cat and the dogs would chase it. And one or two little girls would probably drop it the first time it peed or pooped (and my hamster did that to me once, GROSSSSSSSSSS) on them and then it would run and we' have to try to get it. So we didn't do it, but they still want one. I told them that daddy and I would talk about it and decide. We do not want a guinea pig, even though that might be the more logical choice. However, I am sure the dogs and cat would chase a guinea pig for sure. So we will pass on that type of animal for now. I have always had pets and never had an issue saying no, but this time I pretty much said no.
The sun is out today after two days of foggy and then rain (yesterday) so I am happy. The 49'ers are in the Super Bowl (we just need them to win and then we will have two teams that won World Series and Super Bowl) so life is good.
Enjoy your weekend, those of you still reading the blog (the few of you that there are still reading).
But first off, I have to give a shout out to my husband (he very rarely reads this blog) because he's receieved a promotion at work and is now a manager in charge of the office staff. He's been at his company almost 10 yrs (even his boss didn't believe it - but his boss is not the one who hired him, this boss came after my husband was hired, so he would have no clue when my husband started with the company). He has worked at every position in the office and now it's his turn to become a manager. I know he's ready for this job. I'm happy as he can set his own hours (no extra pay though or overtime anymore) so he can come to school functions, he and I can take an hour to meet for lunch, and he can come home earlier if his work is done. He will still work a day on the weekend, but I enjoy having him off on the weekday he's off, so that won't be a change. I'm really proud of him. :-) So far 2013 is starting off nicely, let's hope it continues...........after last year, we could really use a good year.
Now, you frequently if you read blogs with any regularity, know that some of the blogs out there do a What I Wore Wednesday (I wish I could participate in this but you know, I have a mom wardrobe and while I could dress up, I really just don't want to and I have accepted that- however, I do like to look at the outfits people link to, it's kind of like a What Not To Wear - or wear as the case may be) an Instagram Friday (this one I could do but I have not found any inspiring pictures to take nor would my house be one I'd like people to see, it's small and 4 people and 5 pets have outgrown it, and I haven't been anywhere this year that would inspire me to take pics. But I'd like to try this one), sponsored products (no one ever sends me anything because I am not ad sponsored) and to take a picture that inspires me from the week. I like to see what other people have posted, although I have to admit I don't link up at all because I don't feel as inspired as these bloggers do. So I read and I enjoy reading the posts.
However, I do have a few items I have been enjoying this winter, both products, tv, and clothing. So I am gonna do a link to some of my winter favorites (just because it's a bit of fun and sometimes this blog can lean towards two very special girls and it's time for a bit of some fun stuff).
I have picked up reading in the last month and I am enjoying it. I used to be a reader who could only read in extreme quiet (because when I was single and living on my own, that is what my atmosphere - except for my cats' meowing - was) but I am learning to read while noise is going on in the background (although I do not care for it but I am trying to accept it because that is what my household is like). So on to favorite number 1.
1. Downton Abbey. I am addicted, yes, I am. I can't help it. My friend came to visit last year, at New Years and got me started on Downton. She and I started watching it but the kids were around (PBS was having it's marathon lead up to season 2) so I decided to DVR the rest and the start of season 2. When my friend left, I stayed up one night to watch all of season 1 in anticipation of the start of season 2. Now they are on to season 3 and I'm still hooked.
So this past Sunday PBS did a special on Highclere castle, where they film Downton Abbey. I watched and became fascinated with the estate and the Earl and Countess. So I ordered this book, based on one of the Countesses of Highclere:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0770435629/ref=oh_details_o00_s00_i00
I also ordered this book as I am now fascinated by the American heiresses who came over in the early 1900's to marry the British Lords and supplied the much needed cash (dowery) to get the estates back on track (ie Downton Abbey style):
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0761171959/ref=oh_details_o00_s00_i01
I have also read the books of this author, who was an actual parlor maid:
http://www.amazon.com/Below-Stairs-Inspired-Upstairs-Downstairs/dp/1250005442/ref=pd_sim_b_1
This maid definitely has the salty British humor going.
2. Clemmentines - the orange. I have really gotten into this sweet little citrus fruit. My mom was eating them towards the end of her life and I have not really been an orange person but LGA likes oranges, and I always buy the small ones for the girls. I started eating one at a meal one day and was hooked. I can't find them in the stores anymore so I think they are only in season a short while (I could look this up to add more 'facts' to this post, but I am too lazy to do that right now).
3. Hot tea. British black tea to be more specific. We have a Keurig coffee maker, and I have been brewing a cup of tea in the afternoon with my lunch. It reminds me of being back in England with my cousins and having an afternoon cup of tea. I even bought an English cucumber at the grocery store last night so I do see cucumber sandwiches in my future........yum. And yes, I have been to the Ritz for high tea. Loved it.
Do you see a British theme going on???? Hm....when did that start??
Now I am going to switch to a lotion that I have been really loving. My skin since my 2004 hysterectomy operation, has been dry in the winter and sometimes the summer months. I discovered this brand when my cousin gave me a hand creme she didn't like the smell of. I was hooked and had to have some. This product is the best lotion I have found for dry skin:
http://usa.loccitane.com/natural-beauty-products-skincare-l'occitane-en-provence-usa,82,1,28281,333753.htm?cm_mmc=Email+Newsletter-_-Week+3+Friday+Honey+Best-_-Promotional-_-Logo&utm_medium=Email+Newsletter&utm_source=Week+3+Friday+Honey+Best&utm_content=Promotional&utm_campaign=Logo
I have a problem with wool sweaters and found that some of my sweaters were a bit heavy and a lot of wool/angora, which if it's around my neck, can make me itch. So I found these sweaters at Old Navy that I can wear a tank or tshirt under and I like them:
http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=73824&vid=1&pid=262425082
I have worn them all winter long, and I really like them. I have found Old Navy's clothing does not always hold up so I have been trying to wash them and hang them to dry to extend their life. Of course, I have loved Old Navy's fleece half zip pullovers, fleece hoodies, and fleece pullovers for years and have worn them (along with their yoga pants, yes, I like their yoga pants, even though I do not use them for yoga as they were intended) for years.
My favorite pajamas to date are these (the girls love them and say "look at mommy's monkey pjs!"):
http://www.target.com/p/nick-nora-poplin-sock-monkey-pajama-coat-set-pink-multi/-/A-11015458#prodSlot=medium_1_1&term=nick+and+nora+monkey+pjs
And my favorite boots this year:
http://www.amazon.com/BEARPAW-Womens-Emma-Short-Black/dp/B003DNR2IO/ref=sr_1_1?s=shoes&ie=UTF8&qid=1359136251&sr=1-1&keywords=bearpaws
I think the Bearpaws are much better than the Uggs that everyone is wearing. These boots are the warmest and have kept me plenty warm this winter.
My favorite scarves to date are the infinity scarves. I recently ordered some from The Pleated Poppy:
http://shop.thepleatedpoppy.com/category/scarves
They are comfy and easy to wrap around your neck for warmth.
The products I listed above are just some of the favorites I have been using/wearing/reading this winter.
Now on to the pet part of this update. The girls (and Dave) desperately want a hamster. We have been to Petsmart to look at the hamsters and even seen them up close. LGA got very upset the last time we went (as we were looking at cages and reading the pamphlets they have near the cages) as we left without a hamster. I know who would end up cleaning it's cage (even though Dave rather begrudgingly said he would take care of cleaning/feeding it) and feeding it. I had two hamsters growing up, Charlie and Seymour. They fought (as they were two males) so we separated them in to two cages. They also were night animals so got out and roamed the house (till we found them hiding in the bathroom laundry hampers in the am). We thought about it, but part of the pamphlet said that the hamsters will bite if you poke them inside their cages or tap on their cages a lot. I know this would be hard for OCD LGA to leave it (her as we'd get a female) alone. Also the first time it got out and ran, the cat and the dogs would chase it. And one or two little girls would probably drop it the first time it peed or pooped (and my hamster did that to me once, GROSSSSSSSSSS) on them and then it would run and we' have to try to get it. So we didn't do it, but they still want one. I told them that daddy and I would talk about it and decide. We do not want a guinea pig, even though that might be the more logical choice. However, I am sure the dogs and cat would chase a guinea pig for sure. So we will pass on that type of animal for now. I have always had pets and never had an issue saying no, but this time I pretty much said no.
The sun is out today after two days of foggy and then rain (yesterday) so I am happy. The 49'ers are in the Super Bowl (we just need them to win and then we will have two teams that won World Series and Super Bowl) so life is good.
Enjoy your weekend, those of you still reading the blog (the few of you that there are still reading).
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Homework........(edited)
We all know how hard homework can be, those of you who are parents or remember it from your school years. Well, here at Family of 4, we are facing one little girl who does not want to do her homework.
Part of it I attribute to the ADHD brain and not being able to focus. Part of it is she just doesn't want to do it. I'm having some issues as her report card came out last week (BGA) and in the section for homework, it was marked for the VERY first time ever, "Unsatisfactory." I think my jaw dropped and I was really surprised when I saw that U on her report card.
A bit of background..............BGA's teacher is a bit older, she sort of reminds me of a 'lived hard' sort of person. I can't really describe it in more detail, but I'm sure you know what I mean. Little details have come home with BGA about her teacher and her life, etc. I know way more than I thought I'd know about her teacher, but I think that is what teacher's do these days, they relate their life experiences to the kids they are teaching. At least that has been the experience here in our section of N CA and our school district. Not to say this isn't bad, but some of the life choices teachers discuss, in my child's case I really would like to be able to know ahead of time to talk to BGA about it.
SO...........you might remember that BGA's teacher was very glowing in her reports about her right before Christmas, telling me that she never gave her any problems, other than she likes to chat (and according to her report card, becomes involved in 5th grade girl drama......part of that is my fault, after listening to it and BGA not heeding any advice I gave her, I told her to talk to her teacher about it, since it was occuring at school..........so, ahem, that might be why she has that on her report card and I probably should not have given that advice). There was a previous mention to the teacher, in a note, that asked if BGA was supposed to be doing a whole page on her reading summaries (after BGA told me that she didn't need to). Note was answered back that teacher does not always give homework. So I assumed when I asked BGA if she had homework (and we all know what assume can mean, don't we? Egg on my face most definitely) she would say yes, "I need to read a book and draw a picture." Or "No I don't have math today." So assuming, (based on what the teacher wrote) she had no homework, we would proceed on to our afternoon. I would make sure she did at least read a half hour, though.
Imagine my surprise when the report card comes back and says that she has a "U" for not turning in homework! I immediately write a note asking what we can do to help her remember, stating that last year this was a VERY big issue and her teacher kept wanting her to be organized (last year's teacher was a bit milquetoast in my opinion but we dealt the best we could with it) and insisting that she MUST have an afternoon booster ADHD med to focus. We never did get it set up for pm at school as I was not sure it was the way to go. I have asked this year's teacher repeatedly if we need to add in the pm booster med to help her. Teacher has not replied, but then BGA said, "I don't want to take my meds at school"and this is mainly because no one else in her class (as opposed to last year) takes meds in school.
I get the very flowery handwritten note back from the teacher. It first tells me "don't worry." Well, I really do not appreciate that as I'm getting to see I know more about ADHD than this teacher does and I can see we will have a battle on our hands to get what we need. Don't get me wrong, I like this teacher and she has had a very positive impact on BGA this year for which I am extremely greatful. BGA had to endure a new school and leaving her friends of 4 yrs behind so having a teacher that knows '5th grade' drama as well as she does, and has daughters, really has helped. She gets BGA and I am SO glad for that this year.
The note proceeds to tell me that I should not worry about BGA and that she's "a treasure, a real prize" and "you have done a fabulous job with her." I appreciated that very much. If you have read this blog or the previous one for any length of time you know how much we have all gone through to get where we are now. It also states that she does not know what a "pm booster" is and that she thinks we are ok for now. Clearly we are not, but how much of a fight is this going to be? I write back and tell her what a pm booster med is (ADHD small dose of meds given in the pm to help with focus and hyperactivity till bedtime) and thank her for her comments.
It's decided by Dave, the teacher and I, that we will put BGA on a homework contract. So far it's working well, and she's either writing down her homework or the teacher is and signs off each day on it. Then of course we make sure she does homework and then we sign off on it and BGA returns it. All electronic devices have been taken away and will not be used (even though they were sparingly used, like when I needed to have peace to cook dinner and two girls were fighting, before dinner) at all until the "U" is brought up to an "S" (completely bypassing the "P" for progressing). BGA is not happy, however, she contributed to it so there is the consequence.
But..........that being said, I am a bit peeved at the teacher. My 80something aunt, a former 4th grade teacher, pointed out that there should have been some idea that homework was not being turned in and that there was an issue so it could be addressed before report cards came out........uh, yeah, I agree. Why were we not told of this, so we could work on it before report cards came out? Also this teacher has done NO parent teacher conferences at all. So we have no idea where BGA really is, other than her grade in math also slipped (she might need a tutor) quite a bit. Our former first grade teacher at the previous school (who previously taught 1st grade then got moved to 5th last year and BGA started out in her class till she got bumped due to the class being full) said 5th grade is when the grades start to slip, so I'm sure that and going to a new school, trying to find where she fits, friend wise, has a lot to do with it. So we didn't say too much to her, other than we might need a tutor to bring up her math homework and she would need to bring it home and complete it.
The first part of 2013 has been working on homework each night and it's getting longer and longer, as I work with LGA on her homework (and she is doing fabulously as she got an "O" for outstanding on her homework) and BGA works with Dave on hers. BGA, early on learned to act like she could not do homework which would frustrate us completely (when clearly she could as she would do one problem correctly and then claim she couldn't do another one just like it). The first inkling we got was at age 6 when she could barely read and we thought we needed a tutor. So I asked her first grade reading teacher if she felt we should sign BGA up with a tutor. Her response? "What??? She's the best reader I have in my class!" So that has been the pattern, seeking out the negative attention for homework. Dave gets frustrated because he knows when she does and doesn't know it. Homework is a struggle. And so to avoid the struggle, she chose not to bring her homework home. Evidently the teacher found a few students lacking, as there are a few 5th graders on homework contracts.
Both girls are attending after school Girl Scouts on campus so one day a week I get two whole extra hours to myself, and I've been enjoying it immensely. No having to rush back to pick BGA up (LGA gets the bus). Last week was the first week and LGA's teacher attended with LGA and another girl and this week, LGA's 'semi' friend (they have a love hate relationship with each other, and the girl is autistic I believe) attended and the GS leader told me that they have to redirect and ask LGA to listen a lot, but that they felt it would be ok. I told them if they need me to be there to help I would, they could call me, but the leader assured me it would be ok. LGA enjoys it so I really hope it is something we can keep her in. I know that girls in another troop won't be as kind to her so we will stick to the school troop, and the leader says she likes working with the younger kids. I am hoping she can be a helper. BGA enjoys it too, so I'm glad she got to go. She thought she missed the sign ups and would not get to go for the first time in 4 yrs, but the sign up sheet came home after the break and she was estatic. I would think of putting her in another troop but I really think the school exposure is good for her and the right fit so we will stick with it. And I really enjoy that extra two hours once a week! The first two years BGA attended at her previous school the troop met after school, but then switched to the lunch break, which really shorted them some time. This new school they meet after school. They will get to sell cookies for the first time also. I don't have vests for them, but they do earn patches (I can't remember where the patches are though..........need to find them and see about getting them vests). I really don't want to get too involved in it, so I am really hoping it can just be a school troop for them. They do have breaks where the kids can go to a day camp when school is out, so we might do that too, now that LGA is old enough.
That is the start of our 2013 so far........homework. The dreaded homework. Hoping to get into a groove soon. I'm also trying to find my way in 2013 for myself, not sure where to start though. I want to do something for myself but can't quite figure out what it is yet, but I know it's out there.
Part of it I attribute to the ADHD brain and not being able to focus. Part of it is she just doesn't want to do it. I'm having some issues as her report card came out last week (BGA) and in the section for homework, it was marked for the VERY first time ever, "Unsatisfactory." I think my jaw dropped and I was really surprised when I saw that U on her report card.
A bit of background..............BGA's teacher is a bit older, she sort of reminds me of a 'lived hard' sort of person. I can't really describe it in more detail, but I'm sure you know what I mean. Little details have come home with BGA about her teacher and her life, etc. I know way more than I thought I'd know about her teacher, but I think that is what teacher's do these days, they relate their life experiences to the kids they are teaching. At least that has been the experience here in our section of N CA and our school district. Not to say this isn't bad, but some of the life choices teachers discuss, in my child's case I really would like to be able to know ahead of time to talk to BGA about it.
SO...........you might remember that BGA's teacher was very glowing in her reports about her right before Christmas, telling me that she never gave her any problems, other than she likes to chat (and according to her report card, becomes involved in 5th grade girl drama......part of that is my fault, after listening to it and BGA not heeding any advice I gave her, I told her to talk to her teacher about it, since it was occuring at school..........so, ahem, that might be why she has that on her report card and I probably should not have given that advice). There was a previous mention to the teacher, in a note, that asked if BGA was supposed to be doing a whole page on her reading summaries (after BGA told me that she didn't need to). Note was answered back that teacher does not always give homework. So I assumed when I asked BGA if she had homework (and we all know what assume can mean, don't we? Egg on my face most definitely) she would say yes, "I need to read a book and draw a picture." Or "No I don't have math today." So assuming, (based on what the teacher wrote) she had no homework, we would proceed on to our afternoon. I would make sure she did at least read a half hour, though.
Imagine my surprise when the report card comes back and says that she has a "U" for not turning in homework! I immediately write a note asking what we can do to help her remember, stating that last year this was a VERY big issue and her teacher kept wanting her to be organized (last year's teacher was a bit milquetoast in my opinion but we dealt the best we could with it) and insisting that she MUST have an afternoon booster ADHD med to focus. We never did get it set up for pm at school as I was not sure it was the way to go. I have asked this year's teacher repeatedly if we need to add in the pm booster med to help her. Teacher has not replied, but then BGA said, "I don't want to take my meds at school"and this is mainly because no one else in her class (as opposed to last year) takes meds in school.
I get the very flowery handwritten note back from the teacher. It first tells me "don't worry." Well, I really do not appreciate that as I'm getting to see I know more about ADHD than this teacher does and I can see we will have a battle on our hands to get what we need. Don't get me wrong, I like this teacher and she has had a very positive impact on BGA this year for which I am extremely greatful. BGA had to endure a new school and leaving her friends of 4 yrs behind so having a teacher that knows '5th grade' drama as well as she does, and has daughters, really has helped. She gets BGA and I am SO glad for that this year.
The note proceeds to tell me that I should not worry about BGA and that she's "a treasure, a real prize" and "you have done a fabulous job with her." I appreciated that very much. If you have read this blog or the previous one for any length of time you know how much we have all gone through to get where we are now. It also states that she does not know what a "pm booster" is and that she thinks we are ok for now. Clearly we are not, but how much of a fight is this going to be? I write back and tell her what a pm booster med is (ADHD small dose of meds given in the pm to help with focus and hyperactivity till bedtime) and thank her for her comments.
It's decided by Dave, the teacher and I, that we will put BGA on a homework contract. So far it's working well, and she's either writing down her homework or the teacher is and signs off each day on it. Then of course we make sure she does homework and then we sign off on it and BGA returns it. All electronic devices have been taken away and will not be used (even though they were sparingly used, like when I needed to have peace to cook dinner and two girls were fighting, before dinner) at all until the "U" is brought up to an "S" (completely bypassing the "P" for progressing). BGA is not happy, however, she contributed to it so there is the consequence.
But..........that being said, I am a bit peeved at the teacher. My 80something aunt, a former 4th grade teacher, pointed out that there should have been some idea that homework was not being turned in and that there was an issue so it could be addressed before report cards came out........uh, yeah, I agree. Why were we not told of this, so we could work on it before report cards came out? Also this teacher has done NO parent teacher conferences at all. So we have no idea where BGA really is, other than her grade in math also slipped (she might need a tutor) quite a bit. Our former first grade teacher at the previous school (who previously taught 1st grade then got moved to 5th last year and BGA started out in her class till she got bumped due to the class being full) said 5th grade is when the grades start to slip, so I'm sure that and going to a new school, trying to find where she fits, friend wise, has a lot to do with it. So we didn't say too much to her, other than we might need a tutor to bring up her math homework and she would need to bring it home and complete it.
The first part of 2013 has been working on homework each night and it's getting longer and longer, as I work with LGA on her homework (and she is doing fabulously as she got an "O" for outstanding on her homework) and BGA works with Dave on hers. BGA, early on learned to act like she could not do homework which would frustrate us completely (when clearly she could as she would do one problem correctly and then claim she couldn't do another one just like it). The first inkling we got was at age 6 when she could barely read and we thought we needed a tutor. So I asked her first grade reading teacher if she felt we should sign BGA up with a tutor. Her response? "What??? She's the best reader I have in my class!" So that has been the pattern, seeking out the negative attention for homework. Dave gets frustrated because he knows when she does and doesn't know it. Homework is a struggle. And so to avoid the struggle, she chose not to bring her homework home. Evidently the teacher found a few students lacking, as there are a few 5th graders on homework contracts.
Both girls are attending after school Girl Scouts on campus so one day a week I get two whole extra hours to myself, and I've been enjoying it immensely. No having to rush back to pick BGA up (LGA gets the bus). Last week was the first week and LGA's teacher attended with LGA and another girl and this week, LGA's 'semi' friend (they have a love hate relationship with each other, and the girl is autistic I believe) attended and the GS leader told me that they have to redirect and ask LGA to listen a lot, but that they felt it would be ok. I told them if they need me to be there to help I would, they could call me, but the leader assured me it would be ok. LGA enjoys it so I really hope it is something we can keep her in. I know that girls in another troop won't be as kind to her so we will stick to the school troop, and the leader says she likes working with the younger kids. I am hoping she can be a helper. BGA enjoys it too, so I'm glad she got to go. She thought she missed the sign ups and would not get to go for the first time in 4 yrs, but the sign up sheet came home after the break and she was estatic. I would think of putting her in another troop but I really think the school exposure is good for her and the right fit so we will stick with it. And I really enjoy that extra two hours once a week! The first two years BGA attended at her previous school the troop met after school, but then switched to the lunch break, which really shorted them some time. This new school they meet after school. They will get to sell cookies for the first time also. I don't have vests for them, but they do earn patches (I can't remember where the patches are though..........need to find them and see about getting them vests). I really don't want to get too involved in it, so I am really hoping it can just be a school troop for them. They do have breaks where the kids can go to a day camp when school is out, so we might do that too, now that LGA is old enough.
That is the start of our 2013 so far........homework. The dreaded homework. Hoping to get into a groove soon. I'm also trying to find my way in 2013 for myself, not sure where to start though. I want to do something for myself but can't quite figure out what it is yet, but I know it's out there.
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Christmas Wrap Up, IEP and Year End.........
Hello everyone,
I hope you all had a nice Christmas holiday if you celebrate it. If not, I hope you had a peaceful day with family/friends.
I realize there haven't been many posts on this blog as of late, but I have to admit it has been a hard year. I was reminded of how hard it has been when a disagreement with a best friend came to light on Facebook and I was reminded that when I posted a few 'positive' posts that people noted it was nice to see them. I am sorry if there have been some 'downer' posts, but I can't explain how hard it has been this year. Losing my mom was losing my best friend and I just miss her very much. Then losing my 2nd mother, my English cousin, 4 mos later has been hard. Dave has had some health challenges this summer and end of year that have been eye opening for him and while manageable, also hard for me in light of everything else going on. I have not shared that here or on FB, but it's made for a challenging year. I will be very glad to see the end of 2012 and will be toasting the heck out of 2013. :-) Thank you all for the support over the last year, I really have appreciated all the support I have received here, personally and on FB.
We had a great end of year for the girls this month. I got to go hear BGA's class sing The 12 Horrible Days of Christmas on the last day of school before break. She called me to tell me there was an asembly and would I come. I had no idea there was one. She finished off her call with "I love you Mommy" twice to make sure I got the point. I noticed though that she didn't cling to me this time and while she wanted me there, she didn't want me to interact unless she initiated it. She's growing up! Her class sat near where I stood (no seats as I got there late because of a train stopped on tracks). It was hilarious and her class wrote it with the teacher, then performed it (the teacher also is a performer, I believe she sings with a group). It was hilarious and the entire assembly was great as I watched the teachers participating from singing and dancing, etc. It was great to see how enthusiastic they all were and what a great choice in this new school that we made. The only remark that her teacher made was that she is not giving her any trouble other than, "she likes to chat." I told the teacher, "Oh, she's just like her mama." LOL. But it was nice to hear this from the teacher. It made the previous 4 years worth it. The teacher told us at Back To School Night, that she can see her really trying not to get in the middle of stuff with other kids. That's such a huge improvement for her. It makes me feel very proud of who she is becoming. I see that redhaired temper appear sometimes but for the most part I see her trying harder to keep the peace with her sister, rather than blowing up at her. I only see her when she is just beyond frustrated, getting mad and yelling at LGA. I've been told that she helps LGA at school a lot (even though she has denied it) and LGA's teacher's husband, who is a sub and has subbed in both LGA's class and BGA's (and he refused to go back to BGA's class) told me that BGA was the only one who did not give him any trouble and was a great kid to have in class. This also makes me proud. BGA used to be in the middle of anything that went on and I am sure that she was loud and hyper when there was a sub as one of the subs in her class last year told her the equivalent of "shut up" in Spanish not realizing she knew what it meant. The principal refused to handle it when I complained and I did complain. I even told the principal I realized that she could be hyper and probably was a handful, but the sub did not need to tell her to "shut up" and that there were many other ways to have gotten her to behave.
LGA finished the year on a high note as well. We had her IEP the Monday before school ended. It is always a bit unnerving to go in to meet with the teacher, speech teacher and a 'member' of the staff (this can usually be the prinicpal, vice if they have one, or the counselor). I am not sure our school has a counselor, but has a principal (woman) and vice (very YOUNG 30ish woman). The principal chose to sit in on the meeting and we had it in her office. I believe the principal is either younger than me by 3 or so years or she is my age. She was very nice, very involved, and I got a great feeling from her. I love LGA's teacher, love, love, love this woman. She's got over 20 yrs experience, appears to be in her 60's, and is a great teacher. She led the IEP, very professionally, and had great strategies for teaching LGA, said she was making progress and gave us tips on how to work with her. The principal wants to set up her mentoring program and will have an older kid mentor LGA which we did at her other school. BUT.......she wants to inspire some confidence in LGA so will possibly have LGA mentor a kinder student since LGA gets along well with the younger kids. She was very involved in the meeting and didn't just sit there like the previous principa did at the old school. The speech teacher is also an older woman, and she looks to be in her 60's as well. However, for the first time, she had actual goals for LGA and will give us words to work on with her. This has NEVER happened as the only times we asked to help or said we were working on words with her we were told to stop because she wouldn't respond and we'd be doing more damage than good for her. WTH?? This teacher said 'no, we are going to work on words and she will have homework. I have goals for her.' She also told me how much LGA is bonded to me by the way she talks about me all the time. That made me feel good. I think Dave and I felt for the first time since we started having IEP's for LGA (in kinder, she's now in adjusted special ed day class, exposed to 3rd grade level at times) that this was the very first positive one where we felt we were supported and our child was succeeding. LGA has taken a jump this year, reading small sentences, and spelling, some double digit math (although math continues to be hard for her to grasp) and just overall doing well. The teacher has gotten to know her, really likes her (we had this last year when she started mainstream 2nd before we moved her and her teacher there, an older male, really liked her and was sad when she left to go to special ed day class), said she's a pleasure to have in class and really knows how to get the best out of her. She's been very supportive to me as well, given me strategies to work with her at home, and we've seen a decrease of physical use when she's frustrated as her words have increased, and as her teacher now has her draw out her frustrations and works with the kids when they have issues. I have seen her more happier, and not as many issues. We also had a very good conversation on Christmas eve, where she talked patiently, sounded out her words and didn't throw a fit if I couldn't understand her because I could....she took her time. Now when we help her with a word she can repeat it back and I see her trying hard to learn words. She was happy on Christmas eve, she was into her little tree in her room and singing the Christmas music (she's SO disappointed it's over on the all day Christmas music radio station on her radio in her room). It was a nice day. I couldn't believe the change. I know she's growing up but she still is 2 yrs behind emotionally. It was nice to see a glimpse of a more 8 yr old LGA that day. I treasure that moment. She seems to be making great progress and I'm very thankful for the support we have school wise, as I know that is not always the case. I read over part of her IEP and for 2010 it was very depressing. The current IEP was the best we've had. She's making progress. I will take it. The teen years may be hard for her, but after 4 yrs of struggles, I think with both girls, I will take this lull and enjoy it.
Christmas Eve was nice, we went out to breakfast and the girls always enjoy doing that. We ran some errands at Petsmart and Target (LGA has grown shoe and clothes size and some of her clothes do not fit. She had a pair of boots on that were 12 1/2 that she evidently wore last year but now she's in size 1, so she needed new boots, perfect as we had to brave Target for some supplies needed there). She got a pair of pink sparklys (that Dave fought me on saying they were not practical, but she loves them and EVERY girl needs a pair of pink sparklys. If they'd been in my size I would have gotten a pair too!) and a pair of silver style ugg boots. I still want her to have a black pair of dressier boots but didn't find any. We then stopped at the store and got deli meats, rolls, chips, cheeses, salami and pepperoni trays and stuff for Christmas breakfast. We ate lunch with the salami and pepperoni tray then had sandwiches, diet root beer, and sweet nibbles for dinner. I wanted to get some moose munch (from Harry and David. We love the stuff) as Ross had it so I went back out (and had a bit of time to myself) but unfortunately Ross sold out of it. I came home after a nice little break, and we finished off the night watching A Christmas Story on TBS. It was just the 4 of us and it was quiet, but very nice.
Christmas day was quiet but fun. It was very rainy and bone chillingly cold here. We opened presents (and they slept in till 8, what a nice present for Dave and I) and then we all got ready and they played with their presents and when it was time - late afternoon - we went for dinner at Marie Callendars. It wasn't the best meal there for the price, but it was nice to go out to a meal instead of cooking as we have in years past. I didn't feel like cooking and neither did Dave. But it felt great to go out. I really wanted to see a movie, but no one wanted to go. I thought that would have been a great day out to see a movie. An older woman commented on LGA's new shiny pink ugg style boots at dinner. She beamed. She behaved well for the most part at dinner. We then came home and watched some tv, and then bed for the girls. I was very cold and appear to have a mild cold. I knew I was getting a bit sick as I just couldn't seem to get warm on Christmas Day and felt cold all day long.
Dave had Sunday, Christmas eve and Christmas day off. He will have the same for New Years and the girls go back to school on 1/7. He took 1/3 off (couldn't convince him to take off 1/2) so it will be a nice week next week as well. If the rain goes away we might be able to take a day trip or two. We're staying in this week, and so far they are doing well. Minimal fights. Temps are cold - upper 40's to low 50's, and rain has ended but expected back for the weekend.I'm resting as I don't feel well. Laundry to be done, house needs to REALLY be done, but I have no energy so it will have to wait. I'm thinking if I feel better at the weekend I will enlist two helpers to get it done. ;-)
I took no pictures and on Christmas day during presents BGA said, "mom aren't you going to take pics?" No, I just didn't feel like it. I think this year is the year with mostly phone photos and no real photos taken. I guess we'll look back on that later, but I just wasn't in a mood to get out the camera and take any pics. I thought of taking a family pic before dinner, but couldn't get anyone to do what we needed (LGA has a hard time with transitions and putting up her electronic game was not easy for her) so we just barely got out the door. I feel like I'm missing recording part of their childhood, but that's ok. I'm just gonna go with it. Maybe next year I will pick up the camera again and feel more like recording their events. And that's ok too. I survived the first Christmas without my mom and it was nice and just the Christmas I needed this year. Here's to a great 2013. I will be toasting the arrival of this new year wholeheartedly.
Be safe out there friends and enjoy the rest of your 2012. Thoughts for you all of a wonderful 2013 filled with lots of special memories.
I hope you all had a nice Christmas holiday if you celebrate it. If not, I hope you had a peaceful day with family/friends.
I realize there haven't been many posts on this blog as of late, but I have to admit it has been a hard year. I was reminded of how hard it has been when a disagreement with a best friend came to light on Facebook and I was reminded that when I posted a few 'positive' posts that people noted it was nice to see them. I am sorry if there have been some 'downer' posts, but I can't explain how hard it has been this year. Losing my mom was losing my best friend and I just miss her very much. Then losing my 2nd mother, my English cousin, 4 mos later has been hard. Dave has had some health challenges this summer and end of year that have been eye opening for him and while manageable, also hard for me in light of everything else going on. I have not shared that here or on FB, but it's made for a challenging year. I will be very glad to see the end of 2012 and will be toasting the heck out of 2013. :-) Thank you all for the support over the last year, I really have appreciated all the support I have received here, personally and on FB.
We had a great end of year for the girls this month. I got to go hear BGA's class sing The 12 Horrible Days of Christmas on the last day of school before break. She called me to tell me there was an asembly and would I come. I had no idea there was one. She finished off her call with "I love you Mommy" twice to make sure I got the point. I noticed though that she didn't cling to me this time and while she wanted me there, she didn't want me to interact unless she initiated it. She's growing up! Her class sat near where I stood (no seats as I got there late because of a train stopped on tracks). It was hilarious and her class wrote it with the teacher, then performed it (the teacher also is a performer, I believe she sings with a group). It was hilarious and the entire assembly was great as I watched the teachers participating from singing and dancing, etc. It was great to see how enthusiastic they all were and what a great choice in this new school that we made. The only remark that her teacher made was that she is not giving her any trouble other than, "she likes to chat." I told the teacher, "Oh, she's just like her mama." LOL. But it was nice to hear this from the teacher. It made the previous 4 years worth it. The teacher told us at Back To School Night, that she can see her really trying not to get in the middle of stuff with other kids. That's such a huge improvement for her. It makes me feel very proud of who she is becoming. I see that redhaired temper appear sometimes but for the most part I see her trying harder to keep the peace with her sister, rather than blowing up at her. I only see her when she is just beyond frustrated, getting mad and yelling at LGA. I've been told that she helps LGA at school a lot (even though she has denied it) and LGA's teacher's husband, who is a sub and has subbed in both LGA's class and BGA's (and he refused to go back to BGA's class) told me that BGA was the only one who did not give him any trouble and was a great kid to have in class. This also makes me proud. BGA used to be in the middle of anything that went on and I am sure that she was loud and hyper when there was a sub as one of the subs in her class last year told her the equivalent of "shut up" in Spanish not realizing she knew what it meant. The principal refused to handle it when I complained and I did complain. I even told the principal I realized that she could be hyper and probably was a handful, but the sub did not need to tell her to "shut up" and that there were many other ways to have gotten her to behave.
LGA finished the year on a high note as well. We had her IEP the Monday before school ended. It is always a bit unnerving to go in to meet with the teacher, speech teacher and a 'member' of the staff (this can usually be the prinicpal, vice if they have one, or the counselor). I am not sure our school has a counselor, but has a principal (woman) and vice (very YOUNG 30ish woman). The principal chose to sit in on the meeting and we had it in her office. I believe the principal is either younger than me by 3 or so years or she is my age. She was very nice, very involved, and I got a great feeling from her. I love LGA's teacher, love, love, love this woman. She's got over 20 yrs experience, appears to be in her 60's, and is a great teacher. She led the IEP, very professionally, and had great strategies for teaching LGA, said she was making progress and gave us tips on how to work with her. The principal wants to set up her mentoring program and will have an older kid mentor LGA which we did at her other school. BUT.......she wants to inspire some confidence in LGA so will possibly have LGA mentor a kinder student since LGA gets along well with the younger kids. She was very involved in the meeting and didn't just sit there like the previous principa did at the old school. The speech teacher is also an older woman, and she looks to be in her 60's as well. However, for the first time, she had actual goals for LGA and will give us words to work on with her. This has NEVER happened as the only times we asked to help or said we were working on words with her we were told to stop because she wouldn't respond and we'd be doing more damage than good for her. WTH?? This teacher said 'no, we are going to work on words and she will have homework. I have goals for her.' She also told me how much LGA is bonded to me by the way she talks about me all the time. That made me feel good. I think Dave and I felt for the first time since we started having IEP's for LGA (in kinder, she's now in adjusted special ed day class, exposed to 3rd grade level at times) that this was the very first positive one where we felt we were supported and our child was succeeding. LGA has taken a jump this year, reading small sentences, and spelling, some double digit math (although math continues to be hard for her to grasp) and just overall doing well. The teacher has gotten to know her, really likes her (we had this last year when she started mainstream 2nd before we moved her and her teacher there, an older male, really liked her and was sad when she left to go to special ed day class), said she's a pleasure to have in class and really knows how to get the best out of her. She's been very supportive to me as well, given me strategies to work with her at home, and we've seen a decrease of physical use when she's frustrated as her words have increased, and as her teacher now has her draw out her frustrations and works with the kids when they have issues. I have seen her more happier, and not as many issues. We also had a very good conversation on Christmas eve, where she talked patiently, sounded out her words and didn't throw a fit if I couldn't understand her because I could....she took her time. Now when we help her with a word she can repeat it back and I see her trying hard to learn words. She was happy on Christmas eve, she was into her little tree in her room and singing the Christmas music (she's SO disappointed it's over on the all day Christmas music radio station on her radio in her room). It was a nice day. I couldn't believe the change. I know she's growing up but she still is 2 yrs behind emotionally. It was nice to see a glimpse of a more 8 yr old LGA that day. I treasure that moment. She seems to be making great progress and I'm very thankful for the support we have school wise, as I know that is not always the case. I read over part of her IEP and for 2010 it was very depressing. The current IEP was the best we've had. She's making progress. I will take it. The teen years may be hard for her, but after 4 yrs of struggles, I think with both girls, I will take this lull and enjoy it.
Christmas Eve was nice, we went out to breakfast and the girls always enjoy doing that. We ran some errands at Petsmart and Target (LGA has grown shoe and clothes size and some of her clothes do not fit. She had a pair of boots on that were 12 1/2 that she evidently wore last year but now she's in size 1, so she needed new boots, perfect as we had to brave Target for some supplies needed there). She got a pair of pink sparklys (that Dave fought me on saying they were not practical, but she loves them and EVERY girl needs a pair of pink sparklys. If they'd been in my size I would have gotten a pair too!) and a pair of silver style ugg boots. I still want her to have a black pair of dressier boots but didn't find any. We then stopped at the store and got deli meats, rolls, chips, cheeses, salami and pepperoni trays and stuff for Christmas breakfast. We ate lunch with the salami and pepperoni tray then had sandwiches, diet root beer, and sweet nibbles for dinner. I wanted to get some moose munch (from Harry and David. We love the stuff) as Ross had it so I went back out (and had a bit of time to myself) but unfortunately Ross sold out of it. I came home after a nice little break, and we finished off the night watching A Christmas Story on TBS. It was just the 4 of us and it was quiet, but very nice.
Christmas day was quiet but fun. It was very rainy and bone chillingly cold here. We opened presents (and they slept in till 8, what a nice present for Dave and I) and then we all got ready and they played with their presents and when it was time - late afternoon - we went for dinner at Marie Callendars. It wasn't the best meal there for the price, but it was nice to go out to a meal instead of cooking as we have in years past. I didn't feel like cooking and neither did Dave. But it felt great to go out. I really wanted to see a movie, but no one wanted to go. I thought that would have been a great day out to see a movie. An older woman commented on LGA's new shiny pink ugg style boots at dinner. She beamed. She behaved well for the most part at dinner. We then came home and watched some tv, and then bed for the girls. I was very cold and appear to have a mild cold. I knew I was getting a bit sick as I just couldn't seem to get warm on Christmas Day and felt cold all day long.
Dave had Sunday, Christmas eve and Christmas day off. He will have the same for New Years and the girls go back to school on 1/7. He took 1/3 off (couldn't convince him to take off 1/2) so it will be a nice week next week as well. If the rain goes away we might be able to take a day trip or two. We're staying in this week, and so far they are doing well. Minimal fights. Temps are cold - upper 40's to low 50's, and rain has ended but expected back for the weekend.I'm resting as I don't feel well. Laundry to be done, house needs to REALLY be done, but I have no energy so it will have to wait. I'm thinking if I feel better at the weekend I will enlist two helpers to get it done. ;-)
I took no pictures and on Christmas day during presents BGA said, "mom aren't you going to take pics?" No, I just didn't feel like it. I think this year is the year with mostly phone photos and no real photos taken. I guess we'll look back on that later, but I just wasn't in a mood to get out the camera and take any pics. I thought of taking a family pic before dinner, but couldn't get anyone to do what we needed (LGA has a hard time with transitions and putting up her electronic game was not easy for her) so we just barely got out the door. I feel like I'm missing recording part of their childhood, but that's ok. I'm just gonna go with it. Maybe next year I will pick up the camera again and feel more like recording their events. And that's ok too. I survived the first Christmas without my mom and it was nice and just the Christmas I needed this year. Here's to a great 2013. I will be toasting the arrival of this new year wholeheartedly.
Be safe out there friends and enjoy the rest of your 2012. Thoughts for you all of a wonderful 2013 filled with lots of special memories.
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